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Carmelita Apr 2020
Headstrong, stupid, careless, wrong
Sinful, disappointment, hateful, not strong,
These are the things that describe me,
That plagues and eat away my humanity.

I have made so many mistakes that I have regret,
And these stakes are what I beget,
Driven deep within my heart, it tears me apart,
The pain, the scars, the guilt, the shame,
All I can feel now is just despair,
Will I ever be able to remove these stains?
Why do I feel so drained.

If only, If only, I could go back in time,
I would give even my last bit of dime,
But I can’t, there is no such thing as time machine,
Life is not a dream or fairy tale, this is not Jack and the bean.
I can’t go, but I could only regret
and fret “If only, If only”

But by God’s grace I won’t be lonely,
By God’s grace the darkness would dissipate,
By God’s grace there would be light,
Even throughout the darkest night,

We have all made mistakes, done things we regret,
Wept and been berated,
But where has that led?
If Only, If Only I have always relied on God,
If Only, If Only, my Lord, my God,

But it is not too late, make haste,
God love you more than anyone ever will,
Up above he looks at you here below,
No matter where in the world you may go,
No matter what you have done certain things can’t be undone,
But by God’s Grace you can have the strength to face,
Any evil, any scars, and overcome the past.

So I have learnt to stop saying “If only, If only”
And remember by God’s grace, You, me and we can live boldly.
blackbiird Mar 2019

your love chased me
down a dark alley
that i made with my own rebellion.

your love rescued me
even when i denied you
in front of the altar.

what greater love than
the love of the father?

blackbiird Mar 2019

her heart has been broken
so many times she wonders
if it's beyond repair.

the walls she once loathed
now surround her heart,
unapproachable by man.

each night she lies
awake wondering if
anyone hears her cries.

but He hears her
and tells her heart to be still
for He will dry her tears,
take her and restore
her broken heart.
for she is His bride.

sufiya firdose Nov 2018
i cried ... i cried like a kid
i asked him..
why ...why in hell did he put in this
he dint replied
instead it rained...
my tears and rain mix flowing down ....
again for the last time
i looked at sky
with tears of
hate,betrayal,pain,and hurt
flowing .....and uneasiness in my heart...
i ran for hiding not form rain but from him
but little did i remember
he is one who made me and everything about
and can see anywhere he wants...
even in darkest nights and brights day...
but my stupid heart cant accept the fate
i ran to my room
closed the door and shut the lights
in the dark small little corner under my table i sat
tears rolling down ..lips murmuring....
all i can think is........."why the hell u let me live..
if i would end up like this....why dint you call me
when you where calling my mother"
i cried as much as i can....
i was tired ..frustrated and angry..
dont know when i fell asleep ....
there is a sea i see
water washing my legs off
melody of sea shore
sun shining bright rays hitting face...
it was so beautiful and pleasant
i forgets a moment ago i was crying
then i noticed there is a big wave coming
it was not wave more like tsunami
i ran as fast i can .....but i hit by the wave
and was soon in water
trying to come out but cant
i closed my eyes and i know it end
all i could do is see dark now
i felt unconscious
suddenly i heard a lough
lough of small girl ....
beautiful eyes and prettiest smile
and to my surprise she was me
all my sweetest moments was playing like flash back
and hard times too
i could see my mother
caring and loving me ....
and then i see my own sisters
who dint got the love of my mother as much as i got
and i saw the small kids who dont even know
who there parents where
i felt pain a sharp pain
that i never felt
and i heard a voice telling me
"you think its unfair...
unfair just for you
then what about your sisters , what about those kids whose parents died before they open there eyes
when sorrow rain falls on you
shed i gave to hide
when there was no one you got your friends
when u need company you got your sisters
when you need love i gave
and its still unfair....??"
and suddenly my eyes shut open
i was in my room under my table
tears was in my eyes
i remaind silent for time being
i realize what i was doing was
stupid and selfish of me..
when i hated him for everything
through he was helping me all way long
when i felt betrayal and pain
he was the only one who loved me
from the beginning to now
i felt sorry...and now i know
no matter what
he is always there to hold me when m falling..
thankyou got for being there
when i need you
and for loving me ....
its someting i actully happend to go through yeah not whole thing but almost
Sayuri143 May 2017
Thanks for the struggle and pain,
If it weren't for these things,
My knees would never bend for humility,
My head would never look up crying for pity,
And my heart would never yearn for Your presence to reign.

In my weakness, Your strength is made perfect.

— The End —