he looked at me
“friends… with benefits?”
i turned to him
“to be friends with benefits we’d have to be friends first
   other wise we’re just strangers ******* each other.”

                      [e.m.]

i sometimes think that my bones might break trying to support you
trying to hold on to something that you and I both know will never work
trying to convince you to not do the things I do
trying to dig my way through the abyss of neglect and unrecognized feelings
i often wish my hands were tied to balloons so they would be too far away to touch you
but that still wouldn't stop me
somehow your sharp words would send me back to you
nothing in this world has made me feel this way
i want to know what you mean when you tell me you love me
and why you want me to say it back
you stop yourself from feeling
so you tell me we're just friends
but
FRIENDS DON'T TOUCH EACH OTHER THE WAY WE DO.
I NEVER KNOW WHAT THE **** WE ARE BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY, WE COME BACK TO EACH OTHER.
my hands are shaking and I can't breathe
everyday I feel less like a buddy and more like a ****

the robber sneaks into
my space of illuminating
sadness
trying to piece together
the things that make me
tick
soon enough he thinks
he has it figured out
placing screws in the abyss,
knowing that if I tock he did
something
wrong
i want to tell him that
nothing will work
no matter how hard
he tries
my hands are broken and nothing
will ever
make them tick again
as much as they can try
as much as i'm already turning my
cogs to start again
the robber takes my broken hands
but just for a bit
"let me borrow them" he says
when he brings them back they are
rusty and used
i want to tell him that it hurts to tick,
how just because i was condoning
the robbing; i wasn't accepting it.
but i don't say a word
i just croak a broken tock
and let him rob me
all over again

i need someone to tell him i am a train wreck and he's headed straight for it and he's not stopping and he's destined to crash and burn hard.

i need someone to tell him he's going to get attached and his green eyes are gonna turn red and he's gonna hate me.

i need someone to stop me from ripping open his chest and snatching his heart heart and eating it whole and watch him bleed and not be sorry.

i need someone to stop me because he doesn't deserve it because i cant make myself look at those green eyes and take my hand out of his hair.

i just need someone.

he doesn't need me.

The mistress of the night
Always appears when the time is right
She knows how to make you feel one-hundred times better than just alright
But with fair warning, don't get at all attached, she'll be gone before the morning light
Vanishing quickly, out of sight
The secret rendezvous is safe with her, her lips are sealed tight
That way nothing is said & there won't be any cause for a fight
You may not have had the pleasure of her company just yet but maybe, one day, if you're lucky you just might!! ;)