I stare at the moon,
But it don’t tell me what to do.
I glare at the stars of the night,
But all they do is flash in my eyes.
I wish to touch the clouds,
I wonder would they make a sound.
Because lately my nights have been regular,
Just myself & whatever else lies out in Nebula.

I stand on your doom,
I still don’t know what to do.
My Heart vs My Mind, like planets,
They're pulling me away from you.
My single mistake seems to have altered the course of our love & in breaking my heart, it has given yours the freedom I promised you many moons ago.

So I stare at the moon,
But it don’t tell me what to do.
Slumber into my bed,
Resting a battle between my chest & my head.
A star will soon
Come crashing into my room,
& if this conflict, like a planet,
Pulls me away from Ruth.
I’ll still remember you.

"Anything" we said
For you,
"Anything"
& in undying infatuation
I hold my word

However
Your promised "Anythings" turn to "nothings" lately
Your kisses, rushed to end
Your talks, short & everywhere
What ever happened to anywhere?
Perhaps I am overthinking!
I'm aware they often tend to take what's good for me & make it out bad

These Thoughts.

But aren't you the one that wanted one?
My carnal mind,
Locked up for fear of repeating past sins
I hid this side for a reason.
You told me you wanted this freed
Well now, darling, he tortures me with "anything"
& I can't seem
To tame this wild beast, see?
With more of my love ever-growing,
He wants you.
So why did you want him free
Muddling up my mind with unsweet "anythings". Was I
Reefing him out of my darkest seas
So he can blame you while he crushes me?

I never liked this side
But I give you "Anything"
& I always figured I'd give you my pain
I guess I also partly assumed you'd notice it.
Unreciprocated? Over-thought? Or am I simply going insane?

I heave them: Silence
But unlike the others
He does not work at hurting me through me,
Through things that I have done & have let made me. No.
He, villainous,
Hurts me through you
What you don't do.

Well unlike him, I am very patient for you darling
So I will leave him free for your pleasure.
Yet, in the meantime, I have to ask of you this. Please.
Because now, be that as it may be temporary,
our infections have to slumber in separate rooms
& textbooks conclude we meet on separate moons
So darling, will you talk to me soon?
Before he brings my fear come true
& finds a way for me, to use
to lose you.

They say be still child
For every drop of love you hold concealed within your heart will
Eventually
Find their oceans.

But ribs are cages

They say when we are young,
The wilderness in our chest will seem untameable at first but will
Eventually
Find its Peace.

Some too fearful to permit further damage to these wild hearts behind ribbed cages pose tranquility
In Romeo’s potions,
Inevitably finding numbness.

Yet strangely enough no matter how much light one sheds on the shadows,
“The world is a dark place” always

Then perhaps this concept of being still
much like procrastination
Is only to calm the seas for a moment

While the moon escapes...

To love the sun...

Eventually...
No More.

To be honest
I was playing the guitar for you the whole time


but

I knew you had a thing with this dude
& he seems cool.


So I was just gonna keep playing this guitar song until my guitar broke...
M

Temptation crawls into my thoughts,
Like a micro- bug,
Planting seeds of inception

& suddenly these wants are birthed.

First,
I kind of wanted to get drunk
&
I kind of wanted to message you.
Now
I want to hold you so tight
the walls between my chest, lungs & heart could break.
I want you to set free these wild creatures behind rib cages,
I can not tame them but, like whales, they sing for you.

However
While in my heart I feel that I should,
in my head I know that I shouldn’t.

So tonight
    I’ll sleep
& awake with regret.

The sad part is
Not that I’ll be regretful
for ever contemplating
these forbidden thoughts

But knowing that I did not perform them.

M