I have this thought…

Our lives like leaves in autumn
From high branches falling
A thousand shades are waving
Through spectral light
Then a scent, of earth
A cold nose and the sight
Of a warm glow

Four floors up
The old flat we brought our son to
The balcony where the parakeets visit
The tall beech and the rolling park beyond
The dense solitude of the estate all around
Pushing its edges into the earthy common
Its woods and mulched graveyards

And I am walking there
With no thoughts of future
Kicking through undergrowth

Through copse then open ground
The contrast deepening
The strangers thinning
I turn back for warmth

Four floors up, I find you sleeping
Four floors up, and I am falling

An achromatic  photo
a tumbling rock
                            falling
                                        down

                              A snow packed peak
      
Every inch of stone covered in weighted white
Rolling and growing...
growing and rolling...
the only sound heard, ice kissing ice
And my screams
Do you hear it?
The avalanche of my life
It has a sound unlike any other
A crescendo  of every experience compounding on my soul, demanding to be seen, heard, felt, feared

Warning level 5 avalanche
Please evacuate the area for personal safety, hazard may cause more calamity

At the beach
the Moon looks closer to me; as if she could feel the cold, the wind,
the loneliness that my heart carries.

I wonder if she's lonely too.

Sometimes I feel like the Moon; she's looking at all the humans,
falling in love,
cuddling,
eating breakfast together,
humans being humans together, but
she's alone.

I feel like that,
everyone around me is feeling something
I can't feel anything
except for loneliness.

I'm in need to love someone and for them to love me back.

Part 3 : I thought you love me, but it’s all my hallucination

The day you left me,
The last day of fall 2017.

You left your knife hanging on my heart
I thought we would last forever
But how could your love for me disappear so suddenly?
Why couldn't I see this coming?

Just that, you left me
When you knew my heart is still aching for you

So, I looked at your eyes for the last time
Hoping there’s something
But I didn’t see anything in them

The Ice Plants died slowly, and winter came.

Part 2 : I started loving you with no hesitation

Our last vacation together,
The last day of summer 2017.

The tall grass bowed to us,
as we made our way across the orphic meadow
We laid down together side by side
And on this damp grass,
under the clouds,
our hearts rang forever

At that moment, I said to myself,
time, space, and beings can’t step between us

I started writing musics with our love
And even the flowers started talking to me
Love just felt so magical

Love, I said to myself inside
I glanced at you,
and you smiled at me
The words stopped at the tip of my tongue
But before I could even say it,
our lips met, and the Ice Plants bloomed.