#dad poems on Hello Poetry

Dakota Jul 2017

I’m old enough to buy a semi automatic
but not old enough to buy a forty.
That’s okay, my dad drinks enough
that he doesn’t notice when a beer
or glass of wine is missing.
I drink to fall asleep, drink to wake up,
drink to write. They say alcohol doesn’t
make you any more creative, but I don’t
buy into that when I’m four beers in and am not
just another suicidal kid on the internet.
He doesn’t care that I hurt myself,
just that I cry around him. I’m not
allowed to be angry, but he sure as hell is.
He knocks over my mom’s organization
and yells at me as I tremble, scared as hell,
ready to bleed to be forgiven. My therapist
says he’s an alcoholic. She’s probably right,
but admitting that would be admitting
a predisposition that should keep
me away from bars and liquor cabinets.
To be sober is to be vulnerable
and I’m sick of being scared.

The title is taken from the Janis Joplin song of the same name.

#family #dad #father #abuse #alcohol #anger #fear #substance #depression

White Owl Jul 2017

Dear Mom and Dad

When I was younger we moved from place to place. I remember, even from a young age, worrying about where we would lay our heads after we left this place. I remember yall being at home a lot but not being around us. I remember you both going into rooms with people, that I met for the first time, and you all spending hours together with a locked door. Sometimes afterwards, I remember staying up late doing crafts and playing games until the clock hit 3am. I remember being able to do pretty much anything I wanted to do. I remember waking up crying and finding comfort that you both where still awake. I remember the house smelling bad. I remember you telling me to lie to social workers about things. Like if there was powders in my house or if I have smelt any bad smells or even about how yall act.

It wasn't until I started getting older that I realized that you both were on drugs. I started to realize that the reason you both where at home is because you did not have a job. I realized that is why we had to move so many times. I realized that you went to your room to hide the drugs from us. We knew they were bad. I realized the new friends that mommy and daddy made were not friends at all but drug dealers and inhibitors.

It took even longer for me to realize that pain pills and maraujana were not the only drugs you where doing. I began to pay attention in class when they spoke to us about drugs. I knew that both of your reactions didn't add up. One day I found a **** pipe wrapped up and hidden in plain sight. I can still feel the anger that rolled out of me that day. I remember wanting to bash it across the wall and walk out. I knew that I'd get hurt by dad if I did that. I walked away and left it.

That's when I realized that the reason you where still up when I woke up from bad dreams is because you could not go to sleep. That when you wanted me to lie about any white substances that is why.

I am not angry at either of you. I am thankful. I have pushed myself. I will continue to push myself. Not only for myself but for my future family.

And mom I am proud of how far you have come in the last 5 years.

Personal mom and dad separate to follow

#mom #dad #childhood #familyissues #drugs #dearmomanddad #note #thankful

Gee Jul 2017

Dear Parents

Dear father. Beautiful mother.

Please allow me this opportunity to thank you, but caricature of my decisions needs to be put in place first.

As the days passed me by, long ravenous nights, restless and unaware. You helped me realize that the white lines turned into white lies, the dice I constantly rolled made me a sucker for the rule of threes.

You made me realize that this is not who I was made to be, and I can be a better man I know. I never needed to become a shell of the man I used to or intended to be.

The lines I drew was nothing more than a mark to build a wall, a barrier between myself and candidly company. I've replaced real words and genuine touch with a new best friend and she's called loneliness. I can feel her but touch so fake, I can hear her words but similar to the voice in my head.

So I want to thank you for allowing me to make my own mistakes but never vamoose my side. Just know that I've learned from my mistakes and trying my best to be a better man than yesterday, everyday.

You've raised me with love, clarity, and a soft touch and I need to thank you for that.

I hope you hear this.

I love you.

This was written for my parents being there and helping me through my addiction. Appreciation and love. I'm blessed.

#mom #dad #parents #blessed

Simon Soane Jul 2017

Stairs

In the house
where fought was known as nothing
i'll gallop up the stairs with a bounding born
of what
you gave
to me;
super strides
and
a
chance
to see.

#life #love #house #mum #dad