1.  You smelt like cheap aftershave and you smoked a packet a day. I didn't want to hold your hand but you made me. I washed my sheets 3 times after you left but I still couldn't get your stench out of my room.

2. You're probably still my favourite. Our hands fitted perfectly together but you made absolutely no effort to visit and I couldn't deal with that.

3. You were too clingy and at first it was okay but you quickly became a leech and you ****** all of the goodness out of me.

4. Thank you for helping me realise there's more to life than love. You were the greatest thing I never had.

5. You tasted like stale tabacco and when we kissed it wasn't real enough. You were quick to touch my skin but your fingers lingered over my heart.

6. Im sorry for leaving you when you needed me the most. But you had no substance, you were meaningless and I couldn't provide you with a reason to exist.

7. Your touch was like a shot of ******. I instantly wanted more. I craved you when you weren't near.

8. I hated your tattoo. It was cheap and nasty and didn't represent you very well. You were weak and you drunk gin like it was water and your mother made the best apple pie I ever tasted.

9. I would of married you. But you were too competitive. I didn't want to spend my entire life chasing you around the house because you were scared to sit still incase you put on more weight than me.

10. You were like the snow. Ice cold, but sometimes you melted and you were a complete ******* mess.

I close my eyes
to imagine love
and ex boyfriends appear
in my head
a little piece of lust
made up of gifts,
laughter,
time wasted,
and meaningless ***
is all I have to offer
at my very best.

People find it weird when I say that
twenty years from now
I see myself single.

It's funny,
how they incredulously raise an eyebrow
as they try to explain me
"honey, don't say that, you'll find someone someday"
as if falling in love was some kind of unwritten rule.

It may be a little rush to think
I'll spend my whole life with only myself as company
but it's actually curious to see how everybody is so into telling me
that by no means I'm going to be a sad fourty-year-old cat-lady.

Because if no one loves you when you're fourty
you surely are a sad cat-lady,
right?

Because failure means
turning thirty-five and having no marriage in sight,
turning twenty-five without at least one ex-boyfriend,
turning eighteen and have never been kissed,
right?

Because everyday I hear more and more teenage girls
worrying about turning sixteen without a kiss to remember
and that gives them so much shame they don't even mention it
as they go past other girls with a single thought running inside their minds:
"is this normal?"

This is very normal, dear.
You're not doing things wrong, on the contrary, you still have a lot of time.
But you are scared you might not be desirable.
You are scared you might turn thirty-five and still have not been desired, not even once.

But the people who love you don't define your value,
in fact nothing and nobody does
the only value that matters is the one you give to yourself
and once you value who you are,
you will be truly able to love others
and to love them deeply: a kind of love that is worth to receive.

Unfortunately, it's common to get confused
and think you will never be happy unless someone wants you.

Don't believe that,
or you might become thirty-five
married and with the feeling you're not complete and something's missing
as you go past other mothers with a single thought running inside your mind:
"is this normal?"

And that shouldn't be so normal.

Ex boyfriends are good for nothing more
than a pounding between the eyes and
a chomp down on the inside of a cheek,
resulting in a warm metallic taste, similar
to the one of your last shared kiss.