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do you love me Bipolar –
My heart is in a bit of disorder;
ordering my emotions, suspended by
the winds blowing me into my
Mood swings.

Does loving me sometimes feel
too irrational – do I
give you a sense of Phobia; I
cannot Lie; I have

thanatophobia

and the someone I love,
that I fear losing - in All honesty,
is losing myself to Love…
At some point
the pills stop being for you.
They become gifts for those
who care so much
that they don’t want you to die.
They are for the therapists
the doctors
the psych nurses
the health techs
the ER staff
and psychiatrists
desperately rooting for you.
Take them.
Take them until they’re for you again.
Millee Jan 18
left on an island out at sea, all my fears and worries surrounding me. i'm stranded, left only with the Voice inside my head; one thing that wants me dead. how do i escape? how do i become free? free the unrest residing in me. i cant swim. i'm not strong enough. the hate will only drag me down. please help me,

i'm drowning.

drowning in self hatred that i can't seem to overcome. the waves pull me further in, the glimpse of light dimming. i can't hold my breath much longer, sweet release finally seeping in. this is it, the end. my soul rests in the depths of the ocean, floating with misery.
Millee Jan 14
silent tears
the incoherent cry for help
pain no one will hear.
pain no one will ever know.
they are shed when everything else is kept within.
when you are so alone, you have no shoulder to lean on.
the pain leaks from time to time through the corner of your eye, but it stays buried.
buried under the guilt, the shame, everything you throw away.
push your hurt out quietly—don't be a burden. no one wants your problems, your pain—no one wants you they say.
please, someone take my pain away.
Ash Jan 10
..here comes the darkness.
Seeping in every corner.
Covering me like a blanket.

I feel numb,
yet on fire within
a void.

My body &
mind slow down.
& my stomach
in my throat.

I cannot tell
what I'm feeling.
But it's lonely
& dark here.

I cry a thousand tears of pain.
I can barely breathe.

I remember what
someone once
told me.

So I take
3 deep breathes,
close my eyes,
& hold myself close.

This won't last forever.
I know I can fight this.

We've done this
dance many
times before.

I hug myself tighter
as I begin to smile.

I have Bipolar.
My Bipolar does not
have me.

I tell myself
this over & over..

I open my eyes & sigh deeply.

It's going to be okay.
We WILL heal from this.
Millee Dec 2024
the yearn to feel
to know the pain is real
is all i can do
while i sit here with you
awaiting the day
i can finally say
'I'm no longer numb'
amelie Nov 2024
it's been great for so long
nothing could ever be bad
i always sing this song
nothing could ever make me sad

the hurt is so far away
almost like it was never here
"i'm on top of the world" i say
i'll never shed another tear

i go to sleep all happy
without a worry
i wake up all sappy
of course it's in a hurry

how long will this time last?
it's all black and gray
i thought it was in the past
it's a never-ending pay

turns out it was always there
distractions just pushed it aside
don't know how much longer i can bear
i just want this monster to die
Millee Nov 2024
Oh, spin the wheel
to see what to feel
you're not in control
this isn't your soul
the chemicals decide
whether depression or pride

you're only a shell
with no story to tell
but what the author has wrote
so leave your note
let your voice be heard
even if only a word

"Help"
Odd Odyssey Poet Nov 2024
Polar opposites – one side happy, one side not so much.
One day I’m fine, while another I barely recognize myself.

Fitting through the days is as effortless as slipping my foot
into a shoe; yet on another day I find myself searching for
that shoe, or I might even choose to walk barefoot, craving
the raw sensation to remind me how to truly feel.

It isn’t the pain – it’s the mere contemplation of it that keeps
me tethered to reality, a hopeful lost dreamer adrift in a sea
of daydreams. My skin may grow thicker, but the heart’s soft
hurt grows a bit sweeter; even as my eyes perceive life’s
flavours as harsh and bitter.

Polar opposites – the spectrum of being happy, or trying
to be happy in the skin of your own being.
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