Some days are good days
Some days are bad days
Some days I simply exist

After a rather enjoyable holiday
During which I had loads of fun
Playing my favourite mobile video game
Reading an Agatha Christie ****** mystery
And last but not the least
Having a long afternoon siesta
I was ready to resume work
Even if it meant going to office
Which involved a long commute
By the dreaded Mumbai locals
Well, getting to Dadar was not an issue
However, it was then
That my troubles started
There was a wait of ten minutes
Followed by a bit of chaos
As I barely managed to board the train
Getting thoroughly squeezed in the process
By the time I reached office
I was drenched in sweat
The second summer of Mumbai
Having well and truly begun
Things did not improve
As I started work
I was really hoping
That my hard work over the last few days
Would eventually pay off
However, I was in for a shock
With every call I made
My confidence nosedived
As candidate after candidate
Failed to pick up the phone
Those who did respond
Were either not interested
Or didn't possess the requisite skills
After a rather welcome break
In the form of an excellent lunch
Packed by my mother
I was hoping to turn things around
However, the status quo remained
And by the end of the day
I had drawn a blank
As far as my CV count was concerned
Thus, it was quite a relief
To leave the office behind
And return to home sweet home
Of course, there was the small matter
Of the return commute
To be taken care of
And once again, Fate showed its hand
As Dadar continued to be the centre of chaos
And I kept missing local after local
While waiting for an AC local
That eventually never showed up
Thus, I was forced to board an ordinary local instead
Thankfully, it was all smooth sailing
At least until Ghatkopar arrived
And I was squeezed once more
This time though, it was brutal
Luckily, the next stop was mine
And the icecream that I had
At a shop just outside the station
Was sufficient compensation
For whatever damage Ghatkopar may have caused
Mental as well as physical
After a rather uneventful auto ride
I was home at last
And I must admit
That however good or bad the day may have been
It has at least given me the inspiration I needed
To write this poem

The last few days
have been those dreams you had
as a child, falling off cliffs but never really
crashing.
There are bad days and then there are exceptional ones. Those that feel like fingernails dragging on a small chalkboard in your head. Like life slowly leaving your favourite feng shui plant.
You shut your eyes
and beg for it to stop.
but the hamster keeps running on its wheel and the hourglass fills up with sand.
A bird in a golden cage, you sit pretty
and wait for the sun.
What else is there?

A new day,
beautiful.
You pray,
no more bad days.
No headaches from overthinking, no scraped nail polish from all the chewing
Enough!
So you go up
Up to the gold in the sky
And let your wildest laugh
set a fire so bright that
darkness lays down its shroud
and gives way to songbirds
to come perch on your shoulder and whisper
sweet love songs in your ear until
you learn to dream of fairy lights on the beach again.
Or so hope.
What else is there?

There is a small hole
in the space between my ribs
right above my lungs
and most of the time
it's tiny
a pin hole really
unnoticeable even to those who know it's there
but on bad days
it grows
it becomes a black hole
collapsing my ribs in
suffocating my lungs
making it impossible to breathe
or to just be
the walls shrink in on me
and i feel so alone
all i wish for is sleep
but I know it doesn't help
so i keep moving
imitating a regular day
going through the motions
until the day ends
and i collapse in tears
falling asleep
to the tears sliding down my face
and my exasperated lungs
gasping for another breath
I dream that everything is okay
that I am back to a pin hole
and not an all consuming black hole
when I wake up
some days
I've already forgotten about yesterday
but some
Are just a repeat of the hell
that I just barely survived