when the ice breaks beneath our feet
will you wake up next to me
in the hospital bed?
with an intravenous drip in
your forearm again.
the aroma of ammonia perforates my
limbic system and emotions and memories
just gush into me relentlessly,
sheer bliss funnels through
the corridors and chemical stores
and finds its rest in my room.
the walls are moist with dopamine.
my bones could break with the weight of
this happiness and it'd only drag on
for longer.
i'd wake up laughing and it made
everyone uncomfortable.

Ammonia

My mouth became a cemetery
for all the words I didn't say,
I bought them all
tombstones and coffins
and buried them,
a self destructive funeral.
I could rip you in half,
turn into a lurid scream
and shatter your spine;
I think you would be
the perfect picture of putrefaction,
mutilated, in monochrome;
the very shade of my heart.

Ammonia*

Burnt pieces of my heart
with your spit on them,
burnt pieces I want to send away
and never see again...
They are just unwanted souvenirs
from lies I don't want to hear again,
presents I don't want to receive again.

Seething for what
seemed like an eternity,
I am finally unleashing all
the pent up fire;
your time for my mercy
and forgiveness has
expired.

I am slowly coming to terms
with the damage you have caused;
I was a city and then
you ravaged me...
covered me in bruises,
tattoos, smoke and graffiti.

Suffocating me,
you smell of cunning endeavors,
childish behaviors;
a touch of you is
toxic enough to make me
wish I didn't breathe.
My lips might say otherwise,
my mind might even say otherwise,
but my ammonia-soaked bones
will never forgive you.