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I stared at my reflection
and saw a different person
Same face, same body
but different souls

I could see through her
the scars and bruises
bullets and knives
All inside her

I smiled, she did
I could feel her pain
Killing her again and again
But she's a warrior

There's a story behind her dress
A melody in her skin
A lost note in her hair
A burning desire in her eyes

She uttered a word
I couldn't guess
She asked for my hand
  But I ran away

Little did I know
I was running away from my reflection
I couldn't get to places
Because I couldn't save me
it wasn't like she woke up
and was ready to know the bad news

it wasn't like she heard your voice
but now it's gone

it wasn't like you've prepared breakfast
and now she's alone

it wasn't like you said "good night"
and tonight's empty

you taught her how to be strong
now, she doesn't know

it was Monday morning
a letter was handed to her
she did not understand what it said
except that you're with Him
They will talk
And talk
Even when you’re gone
The bad and good
Won’t really matter
As long as
You know who you are
I am 24
But sometimes
I feel like I’m 40
Or I am inside an old dying woman’s body
I am too young to talk about the future
But I’m too old to cling to my past
Sometimes
I feel like
My body and soul are mismatched
This soul belongs to someone else
And I’m borrowing this body
I’m sorry
For not taking care of this
I’m sorry
If my thoughts
Hurt every part of you
I’m sorry
For not finding where I belong
I’ll be leaving you soon
I found the key
I've been looking for
a couple of years

I took the chance
Unlocked the door
Dragged myself out

I ran and stumbled
Never taking my eyes
Off that door

I am far away
Of that I'm sure
I stopped, closed my eyes

Laying in the dirt
I couldn't ask for more
But where am I?

I came back to my senses
Found myself
On this familiar ground

I looked around
There, I saw
That same old door

I tried to run
But I'm chained
I lost again
haunted chased
Her lips are red
Pretty cheeks
And pointy nose

The sway of her hips
With the sound of heels
Wore a vintage dress

She laughs like a bomb
Funny gestures
Are on the way

Loser in a play
Classic reactions
She seems too slow

A lady in age
Lost in her generation
A Class D with mascara on
head down
emotions up
she's ready,
might be not

yes or no
she holds
not letting go

she's broken
she never said
anything

she's a tinted glass
what you can't see
is the real her

she's a bestfriend
she's an enemy
she's got a good heart
but they will never know
this is for my friend  who has always been  judged since the first day of school. I almost believed what the "other girls" told me about her but turns out, they were just making stories. She lost almost all her friends because she couldn't take it. But she forgave them.
A painter can paint beautiful skies and you
A writer can write stories of him and you
A singer can sing a song for you*
But a lover can love you
Everything about you
If I could jump off from a cliff
I would make sure
I’d die from it
What’s the point of hurting yourself
When you don’t wanna end it
Broken ties
Right before my eyes
Sat at the dinner table
Fed with silence
And disguise
For how long
Does this stay
Unbearable
It has always been easy for you
To step on me
Because at the end of the day
I will always understand you

I have always wondered
What you always meant by
Everything’s gonna be fine
Because none of these is fine

I am a lost child
With an empty stomach
No matter how much I eat
I still crave for something else

I am your lost child
The beginning of your misery
The echo of your anxiety
A slave to your trauma
And all the rantings I thought were gone
But the anger in your voice
Drives me to different galaxies
Nothing has changed in me
Or in you
We, both are still the same
Separated by these asteroids and moons
Still fighting for a glimpse of light
Put on your rose colored glasses
The one that matches your skirt
As well as your blush
And your hair curled perfectly
See the world through it
And say
What life could’ve been
If we lived in a rose colored planet
I am angry all the time
God I am ******* angry
I think I’m going nuts
My head is going to explode
I get angry over small things
God I hate how I feel
I get anxious and sad
And then I’d get angry for feeling sad
I wish I could explain it to you
How I force myself to smile
How I fake my calm
I just want to be as pure as the sun
sun rises
so do I
count your steps
i'll count mine

walk straight
give way
look back
don't roll your eyes

your day is yours
theirs are theirs
mine is mine
don't cross any lines

stop breaking fences
apologies can rebuild them
repaint your walls
wash your hands
change your clothes

and say sorry to me.
What was the saddest apology you’ve ever heard
An apology for simply existing
I am here
And you're there
I'm legal
You're under
Our worlds crashed
But
You seem unaffected

Slowly,
You came closer
I was falling
You weren't ready
You called my name
I turned
You smiled
She said, "Hi"

-glzl
The flower will bloom
Wither and die
Without anyone noticing

How can you bring flowers
To someone’s grave
When you can’t even water
Your garden back home
Someday, these bullets
Are going to melt inside me
And become flowers
Someday, I'll bloom
And nobody would ever
Dare to touch me
She writes too hard
But never cries
If comfort is in these words
How many pages
Should she fill with ink
After all the highs
Will be a series of lows
The longest you’ve ever had
And the lowest you’ve ever been
Ghosts are real
Alive and disturbing
Not playing, not lying
Only a piece of you
Is all they need
To stay here
To be with you
We have holes in our hearts
That are either
Scars from the past
Or empty compartments
To be filled in the future
I’m trying to find ways
To end this life
Because if I don’t
This life will end me
Good things come to those who wait
Sounds true right
But I've been waiting
For so long
I thought you were already the best
Depression is rain pouring so hard
Lightning and thunderstorms
Big waves and sinking boat
All at once inside of you
It can be sunny sometimes
But you’re trapped in a room
with no door and windows
Walls are hospital gray
With words spray painted
Only you can see
I think of all the nights I thought I was happy
I am always alone
I can't make a happy memory alone
I can't make myself happy
I don't know how to be happy
It gets worse every year right?
You lose a lot,
People
Money
Life
Your worth
Yourself.
I wish I got lost in a forest
At least I could see trees
And hear birds
But I'm lost in my own thoughts
I could only see darkness
I could only hear voices I didn't ask for
In the past
You wished the sun never set
But now
Most days
You wish the sun would never rise
What does sacrifice even mean
Does that make people happy?
Time
Loss
Grief
Pain
None of it
I’m afraid
Of being content
That i don’t know
What i want
Or if i still want more
If I don’t
I will happily stop breathing
You will not get to know me
Based on my poetry
Because everything you've read
Isn't even half with what's in my head
I searched for years
For a love that would love me back
But I never found it
I should stop looking for it
And mind my own business
when the rain pours,
does it tire?
like the wind blows,
does it fade?
the sun shines
until five
do you recall?
you wiped my tears,
to let the new one fall.
sadness
the only
constant
in my life
I’m sorry
If my worries
Control me
I’m sorry
If my depression
Wins over me
I’m sorry
If you think
I’m an adult
And smart
But I ain’t that
I’m just 26
And anxious
My father can fix anything
But not my depression
I whispered through the night
Wishing things would end
Because if they aren’t
I don’t know where I’m heading

I wrote a letter
To my family
Friends and unknown lover
That if i disappear
I swear on my life
I am not dead
Maybe I just couldn’t
Find my way home
As i have never been
To one
If happiness is free
Then why do we
Have to give up things
So others can feel complete
You feel comfortable
On a sofa
That isn’t yours
i continue to write sad poems
even though i don’t feel sad anymore
maybe it’s the comfort
maybe i have nothing else to write anymore
You combed my hair
Tied it in a perfect ponytail
Prepared my lunchbox
Like a perfect mother
You’d say
You were so proud of me
And you’re happy
To see me
Everytime you’re  sober
But when you’re high
I could see anguish
I grew up with it
No matter how sober you are
On some days
I still can’t  forgive you
For telling me
You regret having me
It still pains me
Mother
I wish my ride took me forever
To reach my destination
But it said
It will only take 2 hours
And I eventually made it after 2 hours
Unhappily
how can the sunset be so beautiful
even when it means
the day is over
i hope i can be as beautiful as the sunset
when everything for me is over
WAR
WAR
One must lose, the other must win
I'd stop fighting for you
If my loss is your gain
I'd rather lose this war
Than to keep fighting
Knowing you wouldn't be mine
They told me to run
Run away from you
But I pretended
I didn’t hear
And ran away with you
I denied everything
Every single lie
That came out from your mouth
Continued to run away with you
Even farther
I should’ve known
you weren’t the one
When i saw you
having your tequila
In a coffee cup
I watched you fade
Into the sunset
Like how i used to
When I was three
When I didn’t know
What living and dying meant
No one explained to me
Because I didn’t ask either
I still think
The sunset is pretty
And nice people
Go in there
Til inevitable things happen
And I watched my grandfather
Vanished into the pretty sky
Of January 13
I wasn’t anymore three
And now i know what it means
To stop breathing
It isn’t a pretty phrase
And the feelings aren’t pretty either
The sunset came again
And i stopped caring
They say I'm pretty
But the mirror says no
They say I have fair skin
But all I could see are bruises
Knives from my back
And bullet holes
They say people can only see
What they want to
And show what they only want to
Maybe it's true
They say I'm perfect
Because that's what I want them to see
Not the ugly and dark clouds
Inside me
I am a puppet
Controlled by robots
None of my dreams
Can be real
I am controlled
By a machine
Fuelled with smelly gasoline
To make me alive
I am held by thin wires
With cables attached
To my head and chest
Everything I say
Is numbered and scaled
So don't trust me
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