I try to catch my words like fireflies
and store them in a jar.
I cannot.
Whenever I lift the lid to speak again,
the jar talks to me...
And off they fly.

In the silence,
inspired thoughts
make pleas for their own release.
Within moments
they are captured by another,
no longer mine.

Anything but silence is futile
when it comes to liberating
the true meaning of my fireflies.

I rang in the new year alone and sometimes
she says, "smoking would be better."
Maybe I'll pick up smoking.

"literally stop talking."
Asks if I speak in non-sequitors,
because "normal" conversation
bores the **** out of me.

Doesn't feel pain, barely sleeps
mostly numb, doesn't sleep, doesn't care.

Haven't seen many other people.
Smiles a lot. Breathes deeply.
Hates so much.

Mostly alone.
Doesn't mind.

I knew a girl who liked to draw,
she drew pictures that nobody saw.
She was most artistic late at night,
in the bedroom, out of sight.
She kept it a secret, without giving any clues,
not a soul knew, and her gallery grew and grew.
It was a different kind of art, no paper or pen,
but needed some stitches or bandage now and again.
I took her to the dark and murky river,
which reminded me of my life.
It was then when she rolled up his sleeves,
and showed me her scars with embarrassed eyes.
I laughed at Irony,  and rolled mine up too,
"I draw as well", i whispered and stood.
Taking her hand, we jumped into the river,
and  rain of white feathers fell.
That's when the demons quited,
and the river turned clear  as the sun rose up ahead.

and you clung to me
the way wet jeans
stick to my legs
in hard rain
and we may have well been soaked
because that night
you cried enough tears
to flood this whole town
you cried enough tears
to drowned us both
it's a good thing we float
your heart was a storm
beautiful
mysterious
unpredictable
misunderstood
and let's not forget
potentially destructive
but i didn't care
i wanted to understand
to feel
to devour
every drop of your pain
every ounce of your shame
i wanted to show you
the sun inside you
i wanted to show you
the new day
that's waiting
behind your leaky eyes
and runny nose
and broken soul
but for now
you can cling to me
release you agonies
and i will never
let you think
that you are anything less
then gold
and i will never make you feel
that you are anything less
then whole
and i will never
let you sink
so hold me tight
and don't let go

My mother hides things from me,
a lot of things,
but I can't be mad, I guess.

I do it, too.

I almost threw up when I saw her
Holding lightly to your arm
I could feel my heart
Rise up in my throat

When I remembered
You aren't mine.

I have no claim over you
You are not mine to love
If you really loved me
You would be here
And if I really loved you
I would be with you

But here we are
Not loving each other

With other people
Living lives separate from our designs
Perhaps this is how it has always meant to be
Perfect predestined love can't be predesigned
By humans with so many fatal flaws

Fingers make contact with hands,
                                             we can’t stand like,
butter
flies
     on
       a
tree branch

amidst a strange wind.

Fluttering above
trees rooted in sidewalks,
out of sight.

And it feels like
the texture of our shirts
is truth,
    the cat fur,
       the bed sheets,
           our clenched teeth,
Molly whispers in our head
a meditative melody,
and we’re rollin,'
our infinite eyes
hung together
in widened silence,
enjoying a good lie.
Indigo children
with no words, just hands,
applauding the feeling,
dreading the end.
Time past,
grown up,
deflated,
we come down
to see that
sober is just
categorizing
adjectives.

you came back like magic
the salt spray hitting Lucy’s face
from the frame on her bedroom wall
you stepped out of a memory and nothing had changed
your voice still honey sweet to me
your smile still sonnets and songs
thinking of you makes me feel the City in my veins again
rushing and crashing and bustling
my laugh rising above it all

you came back like magic
hiding dragons in your pockets
whispering arthurian myths in my ears as I fall asleep
finding me through the ages that separate us
even though they never passed
you are still family enough (to me)
to brush my hair out at the end of the day
once i’ve put the world away and taken off my armor

hidden melodies spill from my lips when you’re there
drawn like poison from a wound
like honey from a comb
songs i never think to sing around anyone else
singing while i wait for you
part of me still sitting in the park
where i waited once before

once, it was love
(it will always be love)