I gave away my heartbeats to a black dark night
sculpted a stone into a new heart
with each daily news break hanging from my dreams
like silk shrouds for all the dead of just one day on Earth
while the night unfolded her mystery
and my heartbeats were pulsars in a distance too great to travel
while my stone heart was stoic and hardened to grief
I make paper flowers , now, out of black crape, for all those about to enter the land of the dead.

I see him in the hallways everyday at school.
I see him with his friends all day long.
But he doesn't want anything to do with me.
All he says and does makes me feel worse.
He doesn't say anything at all to me.
The way he looks at me makes me feel betrayed.
The way I still feel about him will never change.

Love why does it have to be so weird..
Why does it come when you barely know the person?
How do you know if you really love that person?

Love is what you make it it can be harsh it can be amazing.
It comes when you like the person's personality and the way they act and looks at you.
You feel like you can trust him/her with everything you are you show them the way you look at your worst and they still stay and love you no matter what.

Why does pain  hurt?
Why do you cry when you are sad or angry?
How can we do what we do?
This world our lives
Could it all be just a dream?

My mind is on fire.
My heart in pieces.
Everything missing.
Nothing fitting together completely.
My soul is shattering.
My sanity is changing.

Suicide...
Only the strongest and the most beautiful do it.
Their are ways around it.
Yet everyone around us don't see what is happening.
Everything that may seem it is turning against you it might be for the worse or the better.
The most precious in our lives can be the worst in discretion.
Those we see everyday may think that you are "okay" but really your not..
They think that your just tired.. but in reality your not fine at all.
Speak what you are thinking. Say what you want to see. Do what you must to be heard and show them that you are not okay.

Ever since I was a little girl, I saw things no one saw.
I always looked at the world with awe.
I saw the beauty in people who weren't loved,
In every ******, outcast, and victim.
I was isolated from the world,
For I was merely a girl.
While girls liked dolls and wanted to be Daphane from ****** doo,
I wanted to be Velma and do what all the boys wanted to do.
I robe my bike around my yard,
Even though I would fall on the rocks and hit the pavement really hard.
I had little friends,
I was weird to no end.
I tried to be normal,
I tried to catch up to the people.
However, they didn't see me,
I would just be left all lonely.
I hated elementary,
They only reminded me of being lonely.
I wanted to leave,
I wanted to be free.
I remember that wish as I hung out at the swings,
How I wished that I had wings.
I wanted escape the oppression of my school and home,
I wanted a real friends and I hoped.
Boys were always first.
At home, it was not different, they were the worst.
My older sister said that I had everything that I wanted,
That I was a spoiled brat and unwanted.
My older brother would push me and grab me by the arm,
Saying that I was in the way, causing even more harm.
My mom sided with them,
She only didn't want to get in trouble from HIM.
My dad,
The core of troubles, the only one I can't stand.
Always putting boys first,
Teaching us girls that our job was to cater to them and worst.
We had no say,
We had to do everything he wants in order to stay.
I found no beauty in the family,
It was rotten to the core, it was greedy.
I was hoping that they would see the things that I see,
Stop the nightmares from my closet from coming after me.
I wished they stopped arguing,
I wished they were a real family.
I had no escape,
I didn't even have my own dreams to escape.
I was haunted by nightmares and arguments,
I wanted them all to end.
I would watch a monster from my closet **** everyone near me,
Coming after me.
No one listened,
I was mistaken.
I grew older and eventually stopped pretending,
I shut myself in my walls and shielding.
In the 3rd grade, I stopped wearing pink,
I stopped listening.
I hid behind a frown,
I stopped chasing after the ones who weren't around.
I became an adult when I was young,
I didn't even have a childhood to be proud of.
I couldn't stop seeing beauty,
But I refused to be a victim to their cruelty.
I was an empty shell of a innocent girl,
A young soul who saw the beauty in the world.
I had kept this charade for a couple of years,
Then my wall started to get cracks and tears.
I remember people who saw me,
I remember the ones who became my friends and, later, family.
They finally came,
They finally saw me for who I am and didn't want me to change.
My walls took heavy fire,
It was weakening more than I had desired.
I was scared,
What if they didn't really care?
We went on to high school,
Still friends from middle school.
Then he came into my life,
Putting an end to my shell to hide.
My love came and pulled me out of my shell,
Promising freedom from this hell.
I couldn't believe it,
I didn't think that I was getting what I wished.
My angel with black and red wings,
He's finally come to save me.
They came to save me,
My friends and my real family.