she is more than he bargained for.
she has thoughts, dreams,
a magical mind he
didn’t see coming.
he’s spent days sketching her in his mind,
her locks of mahogany,
doe eyes, freckled nose.
he asked her if she wrote about him,
if she saw his mind as beautiful
as he saw hers.
in the warmth of the moment she forgot
to ask him the same thing.

with each word that you speak
i am paralysed with a fear i have never felt
frightened by each syllable because i can never tell if you mean the words that drip like poison from your lips

your eyes send shocks through my body
my bones are cracked from the electrocution of the fear surging in my veins, striking everything it comes into contact with like lightning

you as a being haunts me, your very soul possesses mine and while the horror of what you evoke inside of me is a nightmare coming to life
you make me feel like morticia addams, i crave the fright.

dear you,
I don’t know why I still write about you, whatever we had cease to exist, but I guess that’s another concept I cannot wrap my head around.
Half of me screams out that I’m over you, and the other half is still very much in love with you, quite the turmoil you’ve created within my heart.
Some days you don’t cross my mind, and others you’re all my mind wanders to.
Everything reminds me of you though, in some aspect at least.
I cannot stop associating things with the golden haired boy who was the physical form of sunshine with the dazzling blue eyes that looked like the ocean.
The sun feels different now, I hate to go outside and feel it because it makes me feel how you did, you were the sun, you still are.
The ocean makes me sick and pitiful, when I go near I a tempted to drown myself in its glisten, the glisten that’s shared with your eyes.

I still care for you, with all of my heart.
I always find myself wanting to tell you certain things like “you should get some sleep darling it’s getting late” or “I hope you’ve eaten good today” or simply asking if you’re okay, but I stop myself because that’s not my position any longer.

I want to stop loving you and I promise I will eventually
the idea of you is still every much infatuated by my heart
my god i promise to stop loving you, we’re different people now.

I promise,,

the sound of mortal terror ringing in thine eyes
the look of death greeting thy eyes, a look so beautiful that it disguises itself as love
the perplexity of its intoxication
entering the bloodstream through the heart
turning crimson blood black, slowly beginning to ****
slowing the beat of the hideous heart
until finally, the poison has overtaken
killing your softly, but all at once

how do you make someone love you when they never did to begin with?
how can you show them the universe you crafted for them when it’s not your right to anymore?
how do you tell someone you love them in the first place?
what does it take for the human mind to realise the mistakes it has made?
would a sacrifice of a heart suffice? I suppose it’s too late for that
why do I repeat to myself over and over each part of you that made me fall s deeply in love?
why do I remind myself of each euphoric moment we had? just so reality can bear it’s fists and give me more bruises upon my ribs, they won’t protect what’s left of my heart much longer.
why must love do this? I thought it was sweet and kind, but I guess even the grind reaper has a disguise.

i wanted to know love so badly
craved it’s attention more than anything
begged every night to be met with love’s miraculous acquaintance
i wanted to know the beauty that love had to offer those it greeted

love and i met randomly
it was a spur of the moment encounter
but i guess in my pleas i wasn’t specific enough
i didn’t meet the love i had hoped for, the love i had pictured
i met the love everyone can never outrun, i was faced with unrequited

unrequited wears the same mask as love
for awhile, makes you think you’ve met true love
but after sometime
unrequited reveals its identity but you’re heart is too used to its mask to realise
and then one day, you’re struck with reality
and the mask of unrequited fades
and you’re left with a broken heart and a mistake

my heart still breaks each time i think of you
tears still form each time you cross my mind
why does it still hurt so badly? why can i not get over?

i wish i could crawl out of my skin
each time i look in the mirror i can still see each part of myself that you loved the most
i still see love burning bright in my eyes
i wish the fire would ******* die

i wish i could stop being
if i wasn't me i wouldn't think of you
no recollection of any part of the wonder of you
i wish i could forget, i wish amnesia would hit

why does my heart still beat for you?
why would i still do everything you ever asked?
why is it so easy to fall in love but so horrible to fall out of?
why can't i forget everything i love about you and move on? you've done it easy enough

i can still feel my heart breaking
even i type each letter i can still feel my heart breaking
all i ever really feel anymore is my heart breaking
i didn't think it could continue, i thought all the pieces were already shattered