you were the happiest part of my life. i never felt better than when i was with you. maybe that's why this hurts so much. i built a world around you that was my happy place. forgive me for being so naive to think i could stay in that world forever. i wish you the best because even after this i stand by the fact that you are one of the best people i know. you deserve a happy life. even if you dont now, i do think at one point you cared about me and i appreciate the time and effort you poured into this. maybe if life was easier and timing was better we could have worked. i really do love you and i wish this didn't have to end but i understand you need it to. we've been through a lot and i wish only better for you.
thank you for making me so happy for so long and building who i am today. this hurts like nothing ever has but i wouldn't replace my memories with you for anything,
you were my everything.

i should have kissed him
last time i saw him
held on a little longer
grabbed his face
to look into his blue eyes
i should have hugged him
and soaked up the love
breathe in the scent
with my face buried in his shoulder
stared a little longer
at his perfect smiling face
but i didn't
i didn't and now its over
and i wish i had

s.s

doubtful inquiries
turn to rational thoughts
and like small crafts on open sea
lovers drift apart

s.s

seeds of doubt
sprout and flourish
stronger than the roses
that symbolized your love
for doubt is **** killer
and even enchanted roses
wilt away
in amorous decay

s.s

i wish i could read minds
because the vibes are deafening
and i don't know what you're thinking
but i know something is wrong
i feel it
and see it
but i still don't know
what is causing it

s.s

i have worked so hard
all my life
to please them
yet when it comes to my happiness
feelings
opinions
views
it's all judged and scrutinized
if it doesn't mirror their own mindset
it's oppressed
and i'm the one getting pushed down
for the way my mind works
or for how my heart yearns
and i'm fed up
it's like ripping the petals off a flower
because it wasn't your favorite color
when it bloomed
i want to be happy
with their consent
instead of faking it
to please them
i want to live my life in light
rather than their shadows
i want to try my best
and it be good enough
rather than always being
flawed

s.s

i feel drained
i'm constantly thinking
like a run on sentence
i have no room to breathe

s.s