So many people die
just to breathe again.

Another one exploded in their mouths.
Nostalgia.
They're dead.

what can i say, except happy.



mine started after the solstice really,

it seemed to make more sense, yet



i will go along with the rest today, say happy.



we should say happy everyday.



i think it is a thread that runs level,

while the bad and joyous stuff, is

another, you know like those

graphs we did at school.

anyway, enough of the philosophy,

whille wind blows clear

outside.



happy new year.



sbm.

One thing I sort of learned...
is that people will accept you for your weird crap
you don't have to learn to survive on your own
and force yourself to be alone for "survival"
life's crazy
especially so am I
and I'm slowly coming to myself everyday
I'm facing obstacles that scare me
like running in public or something
and I'm learning how to embrace every part of me
...you hear that
I'm LEARNING
meaning i'm subjecting myself for change
this time i'm open and i'm not forcing myself
i'm just sitting in my relaxing wooden boat
floatin through life, the rocks, the waterfalls, the beautiful caves, the creatures....
I am aware of our broken world
but in a way
it being broken
things being broken allows for growth
for strength
and without obstacles and crap that i've stepped in...
I would've never came to the realization of where I stand
I would still be that girl living for the world but miserable inside
or idk other way around
but like I said i'm a soul
with traits that some people classify as weird
I just classify them as me
and I'm working on the embracement day to day
not mentally but "heartly" emotionally lol
but yeah i'm a human being with my fair share of **** like everyone else in this world
i'm slowly finding out the things that make me happy
the things that **** me off
and ya know...things
but i'm a soul...
and i gotta give it to myself

Do you think of her
When you close your eyes at night
Do you think of her
When you're holding me so tight
Do you think of her
When you lean in for that kiss
Do you think of her
When you say I'm the one you miss

You say you think you love me
Or is it just a lie
You say you think you love me
Or am I just her in your eyes
You say you think you love me
Yet all you do is play games
You say you think you love me
Yet you call me by her name

Tell me how you really feel
I am sick of all these lies
You told me you were different
When you looked into my eyes

So tell me do you think of her
When you're sitting next to me
You say you think you love me
But that's really hard to see.

As the days go by
And the year comes to a close
I look back and realize
Just how much has changed.
A year ago I stood with you
Shattered and ruined
Here I am finally ready
To leave you in this year.
Not only did I lose you
But I lost a dear friend
She'll also stay behind
Keep each other company.
I've been through different jobs
Emergency room twice
Permanent scars
To remind me of this year.

But lets talk about the positives
I figured myself out
I took the year to change
And it's finally working out.
I finally feel happy
At peace with myself
I met someone new
I learned what love really is.
I got closer to a friend
Who showed me what friendship is
Stopped drinking my feelings
Stopped eating them too.

The things that I lost
Don't bother me much
Because the things that I gained
Are much better, trust.

when your heart is broken and your  love denied
and your eyes are swollen with all the tears you cried
when your mind is restless and you just cant sleep
   emotions in a tangle running very deep.

give your self some time this will make it heal
change the way you think and the way you feel
start again once more open up your heart
begin your life a new and make a brand new start.