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Shoaib Shawon Sep 19
I have returned all that I borrowed—
the dreams,the heat, the light.
I face a narrow,stark tomorrow,
and welcome the coming night.

I drew a line around my name,
a border with no gate.
Inside,the rules are not the same:
there is no love,no hate.

I wonder—
if you reached out your hand to me,
would it find anything?
Or pass through where I used to be,
a ghost on winter's wing?
Shoaib Shawon Sep 16
My Dear,

I’m tongue-tied — I may not be able to say much. It’s been a long time since I looked into your eyes. In the rush of the day we never find a single quiet moment for ourselves.

If I speak, you’ll tell me you have no time for these childish whims. Fine — I’ll stop saying it. But if you ever feel like it, put out the dim light in your room and stare, blank-eyed, at the ceiling for a while. Maybe then you’ll feel what I feel; maybe you’ll see what’s inside me, and notice how wide the distance has grown.

What do you think? That I’m only being cryptic? You see nothing but darkness. There is no place left for jokes — my days and nights are full of nonsense.

Go ahead, add a couple more complaints to the list. Lately I’m beyond ordinary sorrow; call me an enlightened sage if that comforts you. I won’t tell another lie — I’ll try to speak only what’s true from my heart. No — I will tell you nothing but the truth. These sleepless nights have become unbearably irksome.

I’m tongue-tied; I won’t explain the reasons to anyone. You needn’t worry. Keep living your life as you do. I’ve learned a new craft: weaving stories — many lies, a little truth, and mostly imagination.

Enough of that. I’ve rambled so much I forgot the real thing I wanted to say: I miss your smile. I miss it a great deal. Without it, your face looks hollow and empty.

Always,
Someone
Shoaib Shawon Sep 16
Sometimes I feel my insides have dried;
I am only three percent alive—yet still alive.
Three percent alive is still being alive.

I won't say I’m doing terribly;
I've been lying dead for so long.
To be clear: only three percent of me breathes—
and even that is life.

No one speaks, as if nobody’s there,
but there’s one mercy: I don't have to hide how I feel.
Everyone assumes I’m gone.
No—perhaps I’m only three percent alive;
even that is being alive.

Someone left? I don't bring them back,
I keep no watch for anyone now.
I walk the world’s circumference, far from the center.
It doesn't hurt—I'm numb, as if already dead.
Truth is: I am still alive.
Even three percent is still life.
Some days, the light inside feels like it's dimmed to a mere flicker. It's not that you're completely gone, but you're operating on a fraction of what you used to be. You feel dried out, distant, and miles away from the center of your own world.

In these moments, it's easy to believe the narrative that you've disappeared entirely. But here is the gentle, stubborn truth: even a three percent existence is still an existence.

You don't have to pretend to be at a hundred. You don't have to perform vitality for anyone. There is a strange, quiet freedom in this minimal state. No one expects much from a ghost, and that can be a relief.

So if today you are only three percent, hold onto that. It is not nothing. It is a foundation. It is the single ember from which an entire fire can be rebuilt. The fact that you are still here, feeling this hollow, means you are still here to feel something else another day.

Be kind to that three percent. It is fighting for you.
Shoaib Shawon Sep 14
There is nothing to ask of anyone,
nothing left to claim.
I sift through the fragments of memory;
whatever I find, I leave behind in silence.

Around the edge of the world
I draw a circle of emptiness,
lock myself within it,
and watch all other voids unfold.

I wonder—
are you emptiness,
or am I?
If not, then perhaps
every soul is nothing but empty.
This poem reflects the quiet weight of emptiness—the solitude that arises when nothing is asked of anyone and nothing is left to claim. It explores the fragile boundaries we draw around ourselves, the silent fragments of memory we leave behind, and the existential realization that perhaps emptiness resides in everyone. A meditation on isolation, reflection, and the void that binds us all.
Shoaib Shawon Sep 14
I remember a day—
still and silver as morning light,
when my loneliness felt almost sweet,
a quiet refuge where I could lose myself in you.

At our parting you swore,
“This time, I will keep my word.”
You bound that vow by the wings of birds,
as if the open sky itself would bear witness
to the truth of your promise.

But I know—
you have spoken such words before:
to flowers, to birds,
to the old banyan that has stood a hundred years,
to the half-read novel gathering dust on your shelf.
And now I understand—
you are one who can promise anyone,
perhaps even love itself.

Tell me then,
in the end, whose promise did you truly keep?
Did you hold to it, or let it slip away,
just another small thing, too light to matter?
Does the breaking of words never trouble your mind?
If not, how can a person walk so freely through the days,
while the world grows heavy beneath the weight
of what you left unkept?

And still—
I remember the day you promised the flowers,
you promised the birds.
I wonder—did you find the road of no return,
or did you simply forget?
For you gave so many promises,
but not a single one was ever kept.
This poem is a reflection on promises—those fragile words we often give but rarely keep. It carries the voice of someone who once trusted deeply, only to discover that promises, like fleeting birds, often vanish into the sky. It is at once tender and haunting, questioning the weight of forgotten vows and the silence they leave behind.
You said you would forget me—
like restless waves upon the sea,
crashing in the eyes.
You said—
in the city of love, now turned to ashes,
you fear to walk again,
lest one spark
burn your heart once more.

You fear—
oh, how deeply you fear—
not man,
but the shadow of man.
A small man, a small life—
is it light behind the shadow,
or shadow behind the light?

Simple words falter upon the lips—
what I wish to say,
what I end up saying.

You said: Do not return.
In the heavy black monsoon of sorrow,
you walked away.
But will your rain-soaked grief
ever fall again, Beloved?

Today I am like a star, veiled in clouds—
dimmed, lost to myself.
A wandering soul,
burning with the desire
to exist
within your existence.

And yet—
I will sit and wait
on the riverbank of life.
If you wish,
you may return once more,
sailing across in the boat of longing.
When you let go of my hand,
I thought I had lost everything—
drowning in the vast emptiness,
drifting upon an ocean of tears.

But slowly I understood:
a hand is never just a hand.
A hand is a bridge,
and beyond it lies the touch of eternity.

You left me,
yet the love that lived within you
did not abandon me.
For love is not a person,
love is the breath of God—
a flame sent from Allah,
burning as light within us.

Where you let go,
I thought it was the end.
But no—
that was my beginning,
the first step of my soul’s journey
from mortality into eternity.

If love clings only to a person,
it shatters.
But if love is seen
as the mirror of the Divine,
then separation is an illusion.

Beloved, you are gone,
yet you remain within me—
the tear in my eyes,
the radiance of my heart,
the lifting of my hands
in prayer towards Allah.

You let go of my hand,
but Love does not let go.
Love is the wind—
moving everywhere,
where I also exist,
and where you also exist.

— The End —