I take life and death seriously
I intended to die
I intended to be nothing
I am alive
I am nothing
I am an empty shell
When I gave the grim reaper my word
He took my soul
And when I went back on my word
He kept my soul
I threw myself into the black nothingness of death and sadness
And now purge myself of the horrid remains
From the night I stared death in her comforting face
And was pulled away from her embrace
To say I never wish to return to the bliss that was nothing would be to lie
To say I want to experience what is beyond that nothing would be to lie
I am grim like my good friend
I am scared like those around me
Yet I am different than them
I stared death in her beautiful face
And now see everything in a brand new way

I don't wear bracelets
I don't wear necklaces
Once I wore rings, but decided it wasn't for me
I used to wear earrings
But the night my mom discovered the blood on my legs
She took them out to clean them
And they never went back in
I don't wear jewelry
But I wear scars like I would diamonds and pearls
Draping my chest, where I scratched until I saw red beneath my nails
Tossed upon my thighs and wrists, where I drag a blade every night
Marks like rings on my fingers, from when I decided to break apart a shaver to get to the blades within
If my scars were diamonds, I'd be the richest woman alive
But my scars are ******
And I don't flaunt them like jewelry
I hide them, like you would an invaluable piece of jewelry
When you want nobody to know you possess it

Mindlessly minding my day
Finding comfort with a glass of Bailey’s
I think her name was Hayley, goodness
Long and beautiful hair, very difficult not to stare
Had me thinking of sinful things while I’m munching on chicken wings

Her smile was illuminating, her style rejuvenating
Gave my friends that extra reason to stick around for a while
We were planning a collision course, gaining an endorsement
Eye contact initiated, very little forcing, and well

I come closer to her, our eyes were meeting
Dropping some bad jokes, thinking "what a terrible greeting'"
But she giggled, liked the attempt; that caught me off guard
Grabbing my arm, took me away and felt a sense of satisfaction

The two of us secluded and I felt the attraction
Her body was a temple you couldn’t help but admire
She had a silky dark skintight dress causing a fire
Walking on those black leather boots - a dame I desired
                                                         ­     
Running from harder times, escaping to the abyss
She told me it’s hard to find an honest man who assists
Hoping that things would change and searching for honest assistance
I promise her a better future with a man who listens

With a feeling of inspiration, end up leaving the club
Rewarded for my instigation, Hayley's squeezing a hug
Within minutes we make our way across the popular pubs
Reaching my place also with haste, kicked off the shoes on the rug

Speak the language of the mental, hunger reaches my head
Stroking her hair, gasping for air while laying on my bed
Her body screamed for attention; did I forget to mention
My ability to keep her guessing made her want to kiss me
And wish to mission it to Hawaii? God I loved her body.

Exhausted, our love-making was tremendously physical
Suddenly, one-night stand broken, damage is critical
Liquor leaks on the mental window, pleasure is minimal

The next morning rises, we're falling apart
Hayley regrets while getting dressed, not knowing where to start
She's thanking me and quite thankfully wants to see me again
But under different circumstances, so I fall where I stand

It ain’t a story for the faint of heart but mine was fainting
Broken heart, I wrote the part hoping that she was waiting patiently
But she came and went, the world is evil again
Just like a *** left in the cold, unbearable to withstand

Think I'm grateful? Meaningless love, eerily painful.
Victim of the curse: caring too much.
Victim of the curse: sharing too much.

The sunset's engulfing the district
I'm fixing my shirt, prepped for the visit

I hug him at the pavement,
an infinite walk,
hands held, intimate statement

My palms are sweating,
mentally hard pressed,
asking myself “how”?
I’m staring at her now

Nothing else matters now
The field's all around us
and truly, it’s all about her now

The cutest boy that I have ever known
He’s closing in, and I hope
I’m no longer alone.

The prettiest girl that I have ever seen,
four-leaf clover is with me
right as I lean closer

I felt it.
The flow of his hair,
My arms around him
I’m loving the passion that we share.

I felt it.
The warmth of her breath,
touching her skin, I remembered
that I’d never forget

Did I disgust him?
No! I think I messed it up!
Try not to cry or react,
haven’t confessed enough.

A little bit of saliva,
a bit disgusting, really,
and my reaction upset her,
but I was acting silly

Even apologized,
the hurt was in her eyes
changing my tone and I kiss her

And in that moment, I was…
And in  that moment, I was…

Ready to grow her a garden,
keep her from looking dour,
so I present her a lily
at the eleventh hour

Ready to darken the skies
just to give him the stars,
and shine a light on this boy,
my angel from afar

Getting some dirt on my fingers
to hand her happiness,
steal the earth to give her the world,
make her the happiest

Take on the role of the moon;
the night sky at its darkest
can’t use its shadows against him
while I’m guiding him through

Now it ended too soon, but it felt like forever
Now it ended too soon, but it felt like forever

Made her a promise that time
will keep us here together

I’m falling for him,
If I’m being honest.
Wanting to be here "forever"?
He just made me a promise!

The kiss was worth the visit.
Her lips tasted very fruity,
least I’d proven that
cooties never existed!

A naïve girl,
Trapped in my crazy world
Many years later, a woman
dealing with daily hurdles

A loudmouth boy,
now a man of my word,
want to reclaim what we had
when that moment occurred

I’m missing him (I’m missing her)
I'm missing him (I'm missing her)

With that moment between us...

...I dream of kissing him.
...I dream of kissing her.