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Feb 2020 · 347
Midnight Feb 2020
you laughed in my face
and blamed ME
for your problems
and i took it
and i tried
and i CRIED
and i brought the olive branch
to every family gathering
and i kept the tea
from ******* spilling
and i was never enough
and now
i see
and oh
i hate you
and your lies
and i burned the ******* olive branch
and i upset the family tea
and *******
i am enough
you vile, insensitive
horrifically, detestable
Sorry I have been gone, my personal life has been a mess.
May 2019 · 866
Midnight May 2019
i write tragedies
not sonnets
i'm as dark
as the night
my soul
holds sadness
is my aesthetic
and cheery
is not in my vocabulary
May 2019 · 1.1k
Midnight May 2019
the night my life changed
i was wearing
a white dress
with blue and red

and you were wearing
well, actually
it doesn't

the night my life changed
it was dark
and you were drunk
and somehow
it was my fault
this is not my story, but it needs to be heard.
Jan 2019 · 167
I Hope You Know
Midnight Jan 2019
I hope you know that
When I say I'm sorry
For the blood
Its cause he used to curse me for it

I hope you know that
When I start to cry
It's because
He used to hit me, hard

I hope you know that
When I try to run
It's because
He would try to make me stay

I hope you know that
I'm the broken one
And that you did nothing
It was only him

And I hope that you can forgive me
When all you want
Is to piece me back together
But I still cower, in fear
I love you so much, but I cannot erase my history. Please be patient with me, and help me recover, from the hell I have been through, with him, before.
Oct 2018 · 531
Midnight Oct 2018
if I was prettier
or skinnier
or more of something
if I was less loud
or less dark
or less something
maybe then
you would want me
I wanted you.
Sep 2018 · 367
it will kill ya
Midnight Sep 2018
today I looked in the mirror,
and I really looked,
and I didnt like
what I saw.
because I saw
a girl with hollowed out eyes,
a slight beer belly,
and thunder thighs.
I saw
the demon on my shoulder,
the angel to my right,
and black in my mouth.
even worse, I saw
charred lips from the cigs,
smudged mascara from a boy,
and grayed skin from the depression.
and I wanted so badly,
to fix what I saw
but I,
I was too weak.
I haven't written in forever thanks to this.
Sep 2018 · 426
your hell
Midnight Sep 2018
you don't often know
that you've trodden through hell
until you're out of it
hell isn't always
burning or pain or agony
sometimes instead
it is love and lust and longing
it's not always
isolation or depression or winter
but instead
it's the touch of a lover
who means you harm,
the lies from the malicious
covered in sweet honey
most of the time
your hell is personal
and not a burning flame
it's the devil
disguised as something
or someone
you love
Midnight Aug 2018
if he loves you,
you won't need to beg
you won't need to convince yourself
he'll tell you.
if he loves you,
he won't make you cry
he won't leave you hurt
he'll show you.
if he loves you,
you won't need to guess
you won't need to wonder
you'll know
sometimes it's hard to remember.
Aug 2018 · 315
Midnight Aug 2018
you used to be my home
my happy place
you were
so many things
my solace
in times of need
my shelter
from life's rains
my escape
from life's wars
i never felt alone
you always welcomed me
but now
you closed your doors
and kicked me out
i'm a vagabond
a nomad on the roam
i have no home
and you no housekeeper
Jul 2018 · 318
déjà vu
Midnight Jul 2018
you're back again,
but in new form.
a little taller,
darker eyes.
but still you tell
the same **** lies,
and here i am
believing them,
every single
******* time.
you'd think that meeting the same cursed soul in different bodies would have me prepared for this trick by now. but no.
Jul 2018 · 336
Midnight Jul 2018
i don't know
where your body begins
or where mine ends
the passion, ecstatic
we're entangled
and it feels euphoric
lost in the moment
and i don't want it to end
Jul 2018 · 308
Midnight Jul 2018
my heart
only beat for you,
and i loved
only you.
loyal to the end,
and i thought
you were too.
but you didn't stay,
and somehow,
i didn't expect you to.
another lesson learned, i suppose.
Jul 2018 · 214
Midnight Jul 2018
it's kinda ****** up
that when you miss someone
all you have to do
is close your eyes,
kiss another,
and pretend
Jul 2018 · 343
Midnight Jul 2018
you popped the hood
and ran your fingers
over the engine
stroking the piston
smoothing the dipstick
feeling the carburetor
and for once
i felt jealous
of a honda civic
Jul 2018 · 468
Midnight Jul 2018
don't let the past
**** with your future
don't let the memories
ruin your adventures
and don't let the reflection
cloud up your vision
the past is not where you should be living, but rather reflecting on occasionally to improve yourself. breathe in the moment, and look forward to the future, but don't get stuck in the past.
(this may be cliche, but i need to hear it)
Jul 2018 · 1.3k
Midnight Jul 2018
You can't think that you love someone
You either do or you don't
It's an all or nothing thing
Not just something that you float in between

I knew that I loved you
And you thought you loved me back
I should have taken that indecision and ran
Because love is not something you can pretend

I could have saved myself a broken heart
And listened to the intuition that said otherwise
Because love is a whole **** universe
And I'm not just a star in your galaxy
Jul 2018 · 563
Midnight Jul 2018
i'm lying in bed
and i'm crying
i miss you
and i cry harder
you don't miss me
and that
breaks my heart
you don't want me
like i want you
you really aren't worth my tears, but i'm heartbroken and can't help myself
Jul 2018 · 823
Midnight Jul 2018
when you have been
emotionally abused
looking back at the trauma
can be painful
it can singe your soul and crush your heart
and trying to love someone else
can be difficult
if not impossible.
but i finally can look back
at all your lies and games
and feel
nothing at all
no desire for you or pain from what you've done
it's like i'm an impartial third party
it took years to get here
but i can finally say
i'm healed
And I am never giving anyone that kind of power over me again.
Jun 2018 · 234
just a memory
Midnight Jun 2018
i know
you are leaving,
and baby,
i know
its not
your choice.
but baby,
promise me
one thing:
don't forget me
don't let me
just a memory.
That's my biggest fear.
Jun 2018 · 3.2k
you said to me
Midnight Jun 2018
your words exactly:
"i believe our paths were meant
"to intersect,
"but not to sustain.
"to touch,
"but not to cling.
"to meet,
"but not to unite. "
and i still love you,
You kind of broke my heart when you told me this, so abrasively, over a warm beer and a shared cigarette at 4 in the morning.
Jun 2018 · 421
one thing
Midnight Jun 2018
if i had to pick
one thing
that i loved about you
i would say
it was the yearning
in your deep
brown eyes
right before
we kissed
You are beautiful, darling.
Jun 2018 · 244
Midnight Jun 2018
I'm sorry
I didn't mean
to fall
in love
the way you kissed me
I felt a tingle
and that tingle
zapped my heart
and made it beat again---
and now
I can't get you
out of
my head
I'm sorry.
May 2018 · 275
Midnight May 2018
have you ever been
where I am
right now
when life
tastes like dry oats
and coats your tongue
and chokes your breath
May 2018 · 274
i was warned
Midnight May 2018
I should have known
from the way
you reeked of overdone spice
and india pale ale
and from the way
and cigarette smoke
lingered around you
that i should run//
But to cover all that
you put on a smile
and told me bright lies
to keep me around
and therefore
i stayed
only to watch
you leave
and never look back
My pendulum told me that your vibes meant harm, but still I didn't listen.
May 2018 · 768
a tragedy
Midnight May 2018
isn't it amazing
how lovers
can become strangers
so quickly

isn't it funny
how burning love
can turn ice cold
so suddenly

and isn't it tragic
how two people
can **** each other
this wasn't necessary
May 2018 · 235
you (pt. 2)
Midnight May 2018
before you came
my heart was a wasteland
desolate, dark, dreary
black like death

the sun never shown
and the wind always blew

but after you came
my heart grew into a garden
cultivated, clear, colorful
white like life

the sun always shown
and the wind never blew
Please stay.
May 2018 · 1.5k
Midnight May 2018
your jawline
like ice
your lips
sweet honey
dark eyes
an abyss
and darling
i'm lost in it
And I don't want to be found
May 2018 · 190
Midnight May 2018
It's late at night
and you told me
you loved me
and i wasn't prepared
to hear that
and i got carried away
imagined a future
us married
maybe even kids
and now
you let me down
led me on
and dropped me
like hot coals
and i'm angry with myself
cause i let myself
get burned
It wasn't supposed to end like this.
Apr 2018 · 231
Midnight Apr 2018
to the bone
with the
good kind
from your
finger tips
their touch
on my
how they
grip tighter
and leave
on my
I live for that
Apr 2018 · 532
Midnight Apr 2018
and the thing
that gets me is
it has been
two years
and you're still
in my mind
and my heart
STILL skips a beat
when i hear
your beautiful name
and god
i want you back
and *******
PLEASE come back
sadly even now
i can't get
your deep dark
brown eyes
out of my head
and i CAN'T
get your rough laugh
out of my thoughts
and oh *******
it's becoming
too much
i just
Apr 2018 · 582
First Time
Midnight Apr 2018
I had no idea
That tasting you
Your lips
Would turn me
That a new world
Would appear
And you would take,
Take me down
And I would never,
Ever come back
Drowned in you
The depth of your soul
The beautiful chasm
Between your thighs
Your thick voice
Warmed my heart
And I would always,
Always remember that
Apr 2018 · 296
Just So You Know....
Midnight Apr 2018
I wanted to let you know
That even though you're gone
I will always love you
And always be thinking of you

I wanted to let you know
That I do not hate you
For anything you ever said
Or anything you ever did

I wanted to let you know
That you're always welcome home
That I will make coffee just for you
And that I will give you something sweet

Yes, I just wanted to let you know
That I hold no malice towards you
That you are free to do as you please
Even if doing so does not involve me

But I wanted you to know
That if you ever change your mind
That I will welcome you back with open arms
And pick up like we never left off
I'm most likely the world's biggest fool for secretly hoping you will ever come back, but I needed to write this.  So I can forgive.  Because you were so amazing that I will never forget.
Apr 2018 · 299
Midnight Apr 2018
oh this is fun
one and done
it means nothing
just an inner warmth
you tease me
and i tease you
how talented we are
making each other
feel so special
we have no intention
of taking it further
to bed or to alter
but rather
we found a way
to pass the time
and pass the time
we shall
Apr 2018 · 299
Bad Boy Pt. II
Midnight Apr 2018
He laughed
With a half bummed cig
Pressed too close
To his swollen lips

He said
You'd better run
And he took another drag

He said
I'm no good
And he took a shot of ******

He said
I warned you
And he took a shot at my heart

I laughed
Full of innocence
I thought
I could fool a tiger

He said
I think I'm done
And he walked away

He said
(This time his voice
Estranged in my mind)

I picked up my pieces
But this time
You're far behind
I should have known this would happen to me.  There were all the signs; all the warnings.
Mar 2018 · 262
broken beyond repair?
Midnight Mar 2018
~With trepidation I hand you my heart, and with wariness I meet
your gaze, and with guilt I show you my scars~

"i've been burned
cut and crushed
in the past
my heart
has stopped
and over
only to be
back to life.
and bruised
and worn
i am resilient
but god
i am tired.
"i long
to love
to feel
but god
i don't know
if i can"
While writing this, I picture myself as a small six-year old girl, out in the middle of a thunderstorm, drenched beyond belief, holding a wilted marigold.
Mar 2018 · 345
What You Do to My Mind
Midnight Mar 2018
My thoughts
Right now
Are scrambled
And prominent

They're dancing
While I watch
I'm trying
To contain them

And once
I catch them
You appear
And they escape
Mar 2018 · 298
stranger lust
Midnight Mar 2018
across the room
our eyes met
they had never met

something happened
something magnetic
it drew us

in the dim light
our lips touched
a new sensation

your taste
in my mouth
a shaking moan

two people
completely different
suddenly became
Mar 2018 · 442
Midnight Mar 2018
There comes a time
And a place
For an

And today
Right now
Is not
The time.
Mar 2018 · 352
Night Escapade
Midnight Mar 2018
My hair fell limp
Alongside my face
It cascaded down
Grazing my lace

My lips brushed yours
I felt our embrace
Your body on mine
I'm loving your taste

My eyes engaged yours
This can't be erased
The sensual pleasure
I'm dripping (Like I just ran a race)
Mar 2018 · 549
Midnight Mar 2018
I was craving it
And so were you
Two lonely souls
On the corner of fifth and avenue
He was gone
And so was she
But we made due
With a substitute
Just one night
We got our fill
You pulled me close
I felt your moan
My hands, your thighs
Your fingers, my spine
Morning came
And so did you
I stumbled home
And no one ever knew
Mar 2018 · 205
Now I Want More
Midnight Mar 2018
For some ****** reason,
You're stuck in my mind
And I'm dying to know,
But I can't figure why.

I've known you for months,
Or for years it so seems,
But I can't get you out,
You've appeared in my dreams.

We've spoken before,
But now I want more;
The gaze in your eyes
Lingers much longer this time.

The way that you touch me,
Just isn't the same;
Everything is softer,
Something has changed.

The echo of your voice
Is much warmer this time,
But I'm thinking I like it,
Oh, what does this mean?

This is all so **** sudden,
It never showed up before,
I'm confused as all hell,
But now I want more.
It took me forever to formulate my incoherent thoughts, and I'm afraid they are still haphazard.
Mar 2018 · 413
Inner Turmoil
Midnight Mar 2018
The funny thing is...
I laugh in the shadows
And scheme in the light*
I lurk in the depths
And cry when I stumble.
I walk through the fields
And scream when I'm fine.

I tantalize the men
And shrink when they pounce.
I flirt with the ladies
But disappear when they come.

I beg lovers to change
But complain when they try.
I seek out the demons
And lead the angels astray.

I can't seem to decide
To choose the good over bad.
But I sure can complain
And I sure cannot change.

It's getting annoying
My heart pays the price.
But I'm still dancing with devils
And there's no end in sight.
Whatever is wrong with me.
Mar 2018 · 264
It Hurt
Midnight Mar 2018
Your gaze
(So brief)
Into my eyes
And then away
Only to never
Me again.

Our past
(It's over, no more)
Ablaze in flames
Did that contact
Albeit, brief
Burn you
Like it burned me?

I'm not going to lie
(I'm scarred)
It hurt
I'm hurt
I liked us
And I thought you did too
I'm sick of writing poetry about you and how you hurt me.
Mar 2018 · 586
Midnight Mar 2018
I seem to be having
An existential crisis
I feel as though
I am lost
Not physically --But rather
I am not whole
Rather, pieces of me
Are missing
Why? Well--because
I gave them all away
To past lovers
Or partners--
He has a piece
And so does she
And **** so do they
In the corner
All of you
You have pieces of me,
I need them back!!
I'm not me
Without them
Oh--- but there aren't refunds
On souls, or love, or time--
They're gifts
And I gave most of mine
And now---I'm empty
I'm lost, I'm incomplete
Oh god--
I have no
I want those pieces of me back.
Mar 2018 · 443
Midnight Mar 2018
If hearts were made of glass
Mine would have been shattered
Into a million pieces by now
Thanks to you

If lies were poison arrows
My chest would display them
While you shot at me
From your articulate mouth

If trust was a golden ring
You would have melted it down
And burned me
With its fire

If your definition of love
Actually had some meaning
Maybe, just maybe
I would have made it
Mar 2018 · 4.8k
Midnight Mar 2018
So sweet
So tender
Your hands
On my skin

My collarbones
My hair

Your lips
Softly brushing
On mine

So warm
Your chest
Pressed firmly
Onto mine

This time
I'm right
I feel

This time
I feel
The beauty,
And this makes up for all the times I felt nothing, all the times I thought something about me was broken.  I was trying all the wrong places, but this time I found the right one.  Thank you for helping me feel it all.  Everything.
Feb 2018 · 12.0k
Bad Boy
Midnight Feb 2018
You wear leather
As dark as your heart
You speak words
As sharp as a knife

You smell of cigarettes
And sometimes cologne
You wreak of Jack Daniel's
But mostly depravity

You lurk in the shadows
And prey on the young
You desire a girl
But only one night

You tell her your lies
To trick her to stay
And then like a coward
You run away
I've been there, done that.
I was once that girl, but not  anymore.
Feb 2018 · 31.9k
Midnight Feb 2018
Your naked body
Pressed on mine
We kissed

I thought that
I should feel

Thrill, euphoria
Lust, love
Or bliss

But no
I felt
And I'm very sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me.  You are everything I have ever wanted, but for some reason touching you leaves me blank.  I feel nothing.  And I am sorry.
Feb 2018 · 600
Not Me
Midnight Feb 2018
~The problem with me
Is that I always try
To force my square self
Into your circular expectations~
To quiet my voice
To not speak my mind
To order a salad
Instead of a steak
Cause god forbid
I'd gain some weight
Because god FORBID
I be anything but straight
And all for what?
All for YOU
And what do you do?
You treat me like dirt
And spit in my face
You tell me that I am
A horrible disgrace
Well, maybe the problem
Isn't with me
Maybe you're the one
Who's got a problem.
Not me.
I want to live my life how it is MEANT to be
Feb 2018 · 264
Midnight Feb 2018
You worship me
I know you do
Don't lie
You don't fool me

Late at night
You kiss me
You drink me in
You ******* sweetness

Sometimes we talk
I tell you lies
Like how pretty your eyes are
Or how you can actually dance

Best thing is
You believe me
Which makes you hate me in the morning
But you always come back in the night
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