Your heart is shallow,
your ego an ocean of ignorance,
I could dig myself a cave in your smile,
and still drown in your selfishness,
be deserted by your shallowness.

Your heart is black,
your ego grim,
I tried to grow flowers in your soul,
but it was too dark for them to bloom,
I can’t believe you let our garden die,
right in front of my own eyes.

I keep thinking;
if I look at the sky long enough,
I’ll have to see a shooting star,
and all my wishes will finally come true,
my heart will burst into a thousand butterflies,
while my body erupts like a volcano,
and all the anger trapped inside my lungs collapses like meteorites onto the earth,
the pain pulsing through my veins will dig itself beneath the soil,
finally leaving my body as its own.

My mind is a graveyard,
of memories I’ve put to rest,
sometimes I’ll drop off flowers for the ones still banging at my chest,
but I’ve learned the more I visit them,
the more they hurt,
like ghosts they’ll haunt me,
till I dig them back up,
God, why do I love playing with zombies that never even loved me?
people who care for you don’t make you dig up graves,
just to bury themselves again,
but truth is,
zombies aren’t real,
and neither were your apologies,
because who apologizes by digging up dead memories,
instead of planting flowers on their graves.

I have been practicing love instead of anger,
but how do I digest the pain my parents silently suffered,
or the losses my mother still reminisces each and every year,
tell me how can I respond with love when they taught my family self-hate,
to hate their home and hair,
to hate their skin and the clothes they wear,
how do I forgive generations of suffering,
and how they made my uncle a martyr,
brainwashed him to die in a war that could’ve been prevented,
how do I forgive the domino effect of life, that made their great grandparents **** mine?
love runs through my veins,
but anger lives within my blood,
I guess I saw it in my mother's eyes,
you can still love without forgiveness,
but it will take room in your mind,
build a home of sadness,
you’ll pass on to your child.

I haven’t written about myself in a while,
maybe it's because I think of you every night,
my pain is nothing compared to that in your mothers eyes,
I never wanted a woman so strong to cry,
the ocean she crossed with you; filled her eyes to the brim,
she never deserved to be in pieces again,
I’m left speechless every day,
because no one deserves to live this way.
but who am I to feel a thing,
when you’re the one suffering.

I’ll grab the stars,
one by one,
tie them to your wrists,
each and every one of you,
so you never forget the light in your eyes,
and the sparkle when you smile;
reminding the world how beautiful it is to be alive.

I’ll grab the highest mountain peaks,
one by one,
tie them to your feet,
each and every one of you,
so you never forget how far you can reach,
and how far you’ve climbed;
reminding the world you have survived.

I’ll grab the strongest winds,
one by one,
tie them to your backs,
each and every one of you,
so you can soar above the sky,
and start a new life;
reminding the world you’re just an angel,
whose wings were cut before you could learn to fly.

My bodies soaked in victimhood,
like a holy bath,
I am baptized in it,
you can smell it on my tattered limbs,
and on my crumbling bones,
blood stained on my hands,
I can’t seem to wash it off,
I’ve scrubbed my body with satan’s hands,
to get the evil off of me,
but I’ve been tainted by my own insanity.