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 May 2016 RC
Nigel Finn
I, Placebo
 May 2016 RC
Nigel Finn
With a pocketful of medicine,
And an optimistic air,
I set out to cure the world.

I had no idea, when I first set out,
Just how far my journey would take me.
I had dreams of dragons,
Heroic battles, and the vast expanse
Of the seemingly endless sea
Racing through my mind.

My friends, not knowing the true
Reason for my adventurous ways,
At first tried to discourage me;
Convincing me that to help myself;
To put myself above all others,
Would be, if not nobler,
Then at least more sensible.

Ah! My friends! Did you not realise,
That you were just encouraging
My foolish deeds more so?
For me, true happiness lies
In the smiles of others, and
The joys I inspire.

I find no pride in accomplishing
Deeds that fulfill other needs;
Diplomas and job offers
Sail over my head, and I
Pay them no heed.

Such accomplishments should be
Left (in my opinion), to kings,
And emperors, and others
Who I pay little regard to,
Who find such happiness
At receiving a scrap of paper
With not a jot of poetry on it.

I remain of the servile class.
By my own admission and actions,
I shun those who would have me
Believe that my past life,
The one in which I ruled,
If not the world, than at least
The part of it I so ignorantly knew,
Was a happier one.

So far there have been no dragons,
Save for the ones I carry with me
In my imagination,
The heroic battles I fought
Have been with no-one but myself,
In the recesses of my mind,
And the vastness of the ocean,
Carries itself, past the distant shore,
And into the hearts of those I love.

As I reach into my pocket,
I find the goods I carry to be
No more than sugar pills-
A placebo of the mind, that
I am told is good for nothing
By learned physicians, who know
Far more on the subject than I.

Thus I find myself in this foreign land,
With nothing but my optimistic air
To see me through.
I wish no more than to lend my hand,
And show others that I care.
Tell me; Is that a placebo too?
I am often told that, to help others, you must first help yourself. This is sound advice when the basics needs of a person are being neglected for the benefit of others. However, the joy of bringing a smile to a face, be they stranger or loved one, is (to me) the greatest way to help myself. It is a selfish need as much as any other; I expect nothing physical in return, nor do I require people to do similar deeds for me, but the feeling of self-worth I receive is enough for me to deem it a selfish act. I feel, almost always, a feeling of self-gratification from increasing the stock of harmless cheerfulness in the world, and couldn't imagine a pursuit I would rather follow.

If I bring a smile to your face, or bring you comfort in any way, I am doing it for no-one's benefit but my own. I do it not because I am a nice person, but because I wish to view myself as one. Not because I wish to make someone happy, but because I wish to KNOW I've made someone happy. I would argue until the cows came home that the reasons behind my actions make me as self-centred as anyone who cares to pursue any other goal for their own wants.

In short; If I bring you happiness, who is to know that you haven't provided me with even more?
 May 2016 RC
Pratyay Chakraborty
"Stoner's Poem"

I see your snapstories,
I see your ask profile.
I see how you comment and reply and flaunt your English skills.
Trust me, I love your rebuttals,
More than Biryani and the Lebanese pornstar.
I see your Facebook posts,
I see your WordPress,
And I see, how you craft your poems flamboyantly,
And then, and then,
Pilfer my breath,
And rob my me.
Sometimes, just sometimes,
Your deportment bewilders me,
More than Lowry-Bronsted's theory.
I see how you dance in the rain,
Like "All, sin, tan, cos", do in my brain.
I see how you frequent every segment of my cardiac muscle,
And then desert it, like it's one of the many dilapidated constructions.
My reminiscences about your thingness,
Escalate me to a higher spiritual level,
More than **** does.
Oh, that smile,
Oh, that look,
Oh, the mystique in you.
And again, I am writing of Love.
And the pen doesn't seem to stop soon,
For I have taken a greater risk,
Than asking my friend about cathodes and anodes and electrolysis, while I took my last chemistry exam,
When the invigilator was around.
 Jan 2016 RC
Shantanu Nagdeote
I walked half way down the street
To my friend my birthday treat
I could hear the sound of my mom calling me home
My hands were in mud to dig plants more
My mom came to me, lifted me took me inside
My dad lifted me upside
When I was eight my mom told me about moral values
And dad teaches me how to ride a bike
They made me small to big
Held me up in difficult situations
Always they were by my side
For me to not fell on the ground
My life moved with them round and round……
i wrote this on my memories...
 Jul 2015 RC
rebecca suzanne
Every summer brings
different adventures
but I still can't shake
the memory of
street light constellations
reflecting in your laugh,
or how warm we felt
in their artificial sunbeams
when we smuggled
your sister's beer in your car.

I still can't sleep some nights
 with that incessant glow
peeking through my blinds,
reminding me things
come and go
but you didn't
have to.
 Jul 2015 RC
Shiennina Marae
LII
 Jul 2015 RC
Shiennina Marae
LII
What if we let this love die and let it combust? Let it burn our souls and make the universe weep. What if we turn into dust? What if the love we thought was made from longing and craving becomes uneasy? I am terrified of all the possibilities.

I'm afraid for the person I will love after you. She will have to get used to my Freudian slips of your name on romantic dinner dates. She will read hints of you on my sad poems, even the happy ones I will write for her will carry your weight. She will cry the first night we make love, because the way I hold her will never be as perfect. She will sleep with a heavy heart knowing that the next day, she has to face your ghost again. She will wear my sweaters, your scent lingering on each thread stitching them together. She will deal with all my mess. She will answer all of my 2 am drunk calls. She will let me be drunk until I recover from you, she wishes. She will laugh a lot, I will make her laugh, yes, but not smile - her smiles will always be half-hearted. She will read books on my shelves; see your love letters tucked in ever so carefully in between the pages we both loved.

She will choke on the dust of our firsts and maybe have tears of joy because of our lasts. She will love versions of me I created after this destroyed me to my core. She will never know my childhood. She will try to take me in her arms when I relapse. She will carry my broken pieces, try to put them back together, and will just end up being broken, too. She will let me have the window seat. She will surprise me but will never get the same chest pains I had with you. She will take me to bridges, tunnels, buildings, and maybe supermarkets. She will just be the stop along the way because you will always be the destination. She will welcome me home with a hug, I might let out a sigh and a smile. She will settle for that because she knows you will always be my home.

She will go to museums with me just to see my eyes water with pride again. She will let me write about you, just so I can empty myself of the words I have kept for you, if ever you decided to come back. She will listen to playlists I made just to **** your voice in my head. She will try to fit my needs. She will let me cry, and tell her stories about you. It will break her but she will let me. She will try to replace you. She will try. Every single day. She will fail. Every single time.

It will be the worst. It will be unfair. It will be my 3 am regret while I shower with her, trying to scrub away the last time we did that together. It will be running away. It will be my destruction.

*I am afraid for the person I will (try to) love after you.
Hello, feelings.
 Jun 2015 RC
gd
Scars.
 Jun 2015 RC
gd
Sometimes you meet people that you grow to love.
And then other times, you cross paths with some
that just click with your senses;
heighten your emotions so high everything else seems to disappear.

But beware of those who just snap into place
for they will inject their venom
into the depths of your heart
and leave skid marks on the surface.

They will plaster your atriums with Picasso murals
and sheet music from Bach
only to cover the walls with kerosene
and burn it to the ground for the sole soul-wrenching sake of "art".

And that's okay, you will live on.

But there will still be scars at the entrance sites from every drop of poison.
There will still be scars from the train tracks he carved
from the bat of his eyes and the pucker of his lips.
There will still be scars from the blaze

because when fire burns it does so
passionately
carelessly
wonderfully with furiosity  

And you will find pieces of clay under different piles of ash;
You will find treble clefs and fermatas
hidden under every ember that was left to die.
You will still find beauty in the destruction.

And maybe it's still okay to admire the ruins,
even just for a little while.

gd
{"if someone makes you feel, let them"}
 Jun 2015 RC
rebecca suzanne
If I could forget just one thing
I think I'd want it to be
how to get from my house to
yours.
and from there,
how to get from inside my car
to inside your room.
or which couch in the living room
you always stretched out on.
or where you would keep the
orange juice in your refrigerator.
or the names of your pets.

I know how to get to your house
from mine
like the back of my hand.
I don't even have to think about it.
like running my fingers through my hair,
it's become a part of me.

I feel it would be easier to forget you,
or at least let go of you,
if I didn't remember this so well
so long after I stopped feeling welcome
standing on your welcome mat.
I simply need
I must concede

A total fool
A blood pool
My razor shines
My fine lines

The red glint
The strong scent
High risks received
High stakes involved
Endless pleas sung
Endless screams rung

Waiting so silent
Waiting so violent
Over the edge
Over the ledge
Right here collapsed
Right now elapsed
So far gone
So stepped on
Too much pain
Too little gain

I am the worst.
If you didn't notice the first letter of every line, do so now.
 Jun 2015 RC
Joshua Haines
Losers
 Jun 2015 RC
Joshua Haines
A cigarette after ***
  gets old
when it's the only thing
  burning
in your world.

When Netflix feels like
  family,
you wonder where
  everyone went.

******* feels like
  a cry for help--
So help you God.

Missing your home
  is second
to missing who
  you once were.

Eastern philosophy,
Karl Marx, Rawls--
We don't know
  any ******* thing,
really.

Pretending to be more.
Pretending to be smarter
than we really are.

May holes in our sides
let others see
that we're beating, too--
just not as ferociously
or as honestly.

May we vanish
into the darkness
that best suits us.

If the light is our night,
may we follow it.
Follow it...
Follow it...
Rebel from our frame.

May God grant us
to be more
than losers.
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