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                        dy Ready Ready
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              Ready Ready          Ready Ready
          Ready Ready Rea    dy Ready Ready
           Ready Ready Re     ady ReadyReady
               Ready Ready          Ready Ready
                     Ready                     Ready

I know there are people who want to hang out.
People who would be willing to come to me.
I'm just not in the place where I can handle that.
Someone might ask why I don't hang out.
Why I don't go places I really want to go to.
Why I miss out on things I would like to be part of.
There's only one reason I can think of.
I'm not ready yet.

I'm not ready for someone to come over and hang out.
I'm not ready to make plans to see someone outside my house.
I'm not ready to just go somewhere and have a good time.
The thought of that fills me with anxiety, and I can't say why.
I don't fully understand my anxiety yet, that's why I have therapy.
That's why I have a case worker talking with me.
I wish I had full independence, but I'm just not there yet.
And the reason for that is just one four word sentence.
I'm not ready yet.

I can't tell you when I'm gonna be better.
I can't tell you when I'm not gonna be tired all the time.
I can't tell you when I'm gonna have my anxiety under control.
I can't tell you when I'll be ready to hang out.
I can't tell you when I'll be ready to have someone come to me.
I can't tell you anything, because I don't have the answers yet.
And people might not understand that, but it's the truth.
All I can do, is what I've been doing for the last few years.
I keep going to therapy, I keep having a case worker.
I keep resting, I keep doing music with Neil, I keep walking.
I keep learning Korean, I keep learning Japanese.
I keep watching wrestling, I keep singing, I keep writing.
I keep doing the things I know how to do.
But I don't do the things that fill me with anxiety for one reason.
I'm not ready yet.

But don't worry about me, because I'm gonna be fine.
I have a support system, and people who understand me.
I know my true friends will wait for me to be ready.
Don't ask me to hang out, because it makes me anxious.
It's not that I don't want to, it's just because I can't handle it yet.
But when I'm ready to do something like invite someone over.
Trust me, it will be a major moment for me.
Because that will mean I'm ready to take that step.
Ready to do something without thinking about it.
And while I'm not there yet, I think about it all the time.
But there are other things that have to come first.
Just remember that it's not that I don't want to socialize.
It's not that I don't want to be someone who goes out.
It's not that I don't want to have complete independence.
It's not that I want to spend my life alone in my room.
It's just the one reason I keep giving in this long thing of mine.
I'm not ready yet.

Just know that if you want to talk to me, and I know you, you can.
I may not be ready to hang out physically.
And I may be uncomfortable with phone calls.
You can always text me, or message me on Facebook.
I'm always logged in, even if I'm not on, so just message me.
I may not message first, because that's just how I am now.
But if you know me, and want to keep in contact with me.
All you have to do, is message me, and I will answer.
And the moment I'm ready to hang out somewhere.
Or ready to have you come to me.
Then I promise you, I will tell you.
Just remember to be patient.
And that this is annoying for me to, because I have to deal with it.
But with the help of doing what I know, and being with family.
With going to my music sessions and having therapy.
With doing the things I like and am comfortable with.
There will come a day in the future when I'll finally be able to say.
I'm ready now.

Until then, just know that I am always here.
Message me if you want to keep in touch.
If I know you, then you know, I can be a chatter box.
And I will let you know when I can hang out without anxiety.
I'm not ready yet...
But one day...
I will be.

bells are ringing
hear the sound
i'm listening
six feet under ground
i've got a problem
so i've found
no one quite wants me around

i'm a challenge
i've sold my soul
but, i'm still waiting
in this hole
i hear the ringing
i'm set to go
but, i'm still waiting
in this hole

heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready
not quite yet
hell ain't ready
sitting waiting
i'm ready teddy
heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready

shot a man
because he crossed me
beat another
cause he bossed me
had a wife
but, now she's lost me
i'm stuck waiting in this hole

fought a war
that had no winner
i'm not a saing
i'm just a sinner
i choked to death
while eating dinner
i'm down here waiting
getting thinner
i'm stuck here in this hole


heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready
not quite yet
hell ain't ready
sitting waiting
i'm ready teddy
heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready

hell ain't ready
for me to go there
hell ain't ready
for what i'll do there
hell ain't ready
i think it ain't fair
i'm waiting in this hole
i'm ready, set to go
just waiting in this hole
but,,,hell ain't ready


heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready
not quite yet
hell ain't ready
sitting waiting
i'm ready teddy
heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready

Whatever the day brings, I Am Ready. What ever the experience, I Am Ready. What ever and where ever the Adventure leads, I Am Ready...I Am Ready.

There are those days when you feel like..."What the hell!" but we breathe, take a step and keep moving, We are Ready.  The feeling come over us and we might feel like we don't know which way to good, just think; I Am Ready.  Ready for what comes my way...not saying it something I want. Lawd knows, it wasn't plan.  Ha, there are times I want to run the other way. But I, take a moment to breathe and I know I Am Ready.  Today, I Am Ready for the day, the experiences, the adventures, the Love, Joy, Happiness and all the Laughs.  There maybe be a tear, confuse, anger, sadness but I Am Ready.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I Am Ready for what is place before me in this moment to moment journey. Oh, and if I'm Ready...You are too.  We just have to make the choice to face it, feel it, work with it and let it all go back into the flow and be Ready for the next...moment by moment, step by step.  Sooooooo, climb on, buckle up, shake it out and...I would say get ready but guess what: You are Ready...always...just go with it, it is a good ride!  Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I live in a room full of toys
Broken and thrown about
Scratching the surface, I can't be missed
I don't mind telling you that I doubt
Will you ever understand?
You'll never understand

Surrounded by light, if I am not with it
I must be without it
The little cars whisper to me
The tragic fate their life depends on
A storm brews in my teacup
They say
I am your sugar, I am your candy
I am your crème, I am your dream
I am your sugar, I am your candy
I am your crème, I am your dream

So ready, I'm ready
So ready I'm ready
So ready, I'm ready

Music boxes fill the air
With foreboding melodies
These walls have been dead a thousand years
Spinning, and spinning, and spinning
Living twisting and twirling
I must be a criminal, I must be
Can't you see my body is cracked
My soul clawing its way out of me

Thank you kind heavenly host
You've given me so much to toast
This hope that light's my way
Too bad I wasn't blessed with a door
Thank you kind heavenly host
You've given me so much to toast for
This voice to talk to all the pretty things
Too bad I wasn't blessed with wings

Surrounded by light, if I am not with it
I must be without it
The little cars whisper to me
The tragic fate their life depends on
A storm brews in my teacup
They say
I am your sugar, I am your candy
I am your crème, I am your dream
I am your sugar, I am your candy
I am your crème, I am your dream

Oh well, that's a god ****** lie
If it would help you
I'll tell you the truth
You tell me everything's alright
Well, it's not
Can I trust you
I'll tell you the truth

So ready, I'm ready
So ready, I'm ready
So ready, I'm ready

Given the chance, I wouldn't change a thing
I wouldn't for the world
Candy, sweet faces, twisted smiles, the taste…
Do you speak under your breath
About the things I've committed
The spark behind your eyes
A signal that you remember
I was the one in the lies
The world surrendered
A mouth full of words
I don't mind telling you
These warped curves
Your sketchy nerves
What I've learned
Doesn't it burn
For just one more turn

I don't mind telling you
These warped curves
Your sketchy nerves
What I've learned
Doesn't it burn
For just one more turn

So ready, I'm ready
So ready I'm ready
So ready, I'm ready…

I have something to say and it's taking me so much courage to tell you. It's a scary feeling and it's also so overwhelming. I wake up with these thoughts splashing around in my head. They overflow onto my day and drown me in thought of us. I've been holding back for some time now, thinking that this feeling is rushed. I thought that by holding back I may be able to better grasp it and analyze it to make sure that it's real. And now that I've taken this time, I'm finally ready to share.  I'm ready for you to know that I won't ever let you go. I'm ready for your next move, whatever that may be and I'm ready to stand by your decision. I'm ready to smile every day for the rest of my life. I'm ready to be loved and give love in return. I'm ready for big dreams and future planning. I'm ready for commitment. I'm ready for mistakes and hiccups along the way. I'm ready for uncertainty. I'm ready for passion and a breath taking life. I'm ready to give you my hand, my heart, my mind, and my body. I'm ready for you to know that I'm ready for you. I know that I'm ready, but I'm also ready to wait for you to be ready too.

i'm ready, i'm ready, i'm ready,
i'm ready to be loved,
i'm ready to be cared,
i'm ready to be needed,
i'm ready be respectfull,
i'm ready be enough,
i'm ready for the real life,
i'm ready, i'm ready, i'm ready.
i'm ready for the love,
i'm ready, i was waiting long enough

(I'm ready for war *****, I'm ready for whatever..)3
I'm ready for war *****2..Uhh
(Yeah I'm ready for war *****, Yeah I'm ready for whatever)3..(I'm ready for whatever2)
(I'm ready for war *****,  I'm ready for whatever)3
(Im ready for war *****4)..Aye
It's whatever...Uhh

I'm going to war against America, **** em, forget them , They don't care about us ******, they just want us dead, confused & nothing.(Yeah2)..They just want us to **** ourselves, real ****, The CIA got all of my ****** so mislead Yeah..Aye they brainwashing the kids, Aye what's been happening in this world is alot of evilness up in people contaminating their spirits, since before Christ was  even here man, Yeah real spit,..I'm spilling the beans,.. Yeah I will take my chances, (dying2)..for (being somebody2)..I wanted to be , instead of thinking the same,..Im programing myself mane,I'm so ready for war *****, Yeah I'm so ready for whatever Uhh..MK ULTRA still exist, & we the people need to do something about (this2)..is more than just an conspiracy theory,.. It's the truth my *****,..The biggest conspiracy is that we are free dude,*****

No fake it, till I make it type of fucc **** going on in OFTR
This is (Only For The Real..2)..business
(ONLY FOR THE REAL2) ENTERTAINMENT

Yeah mane .*****, Yeah..Aye man, I'm fighting for what is mines..I'm standing up for the truth Shawty..(I'm ready for war3) *****..OFTR ENT, we ready for whatever.. ***** we the leaders, ***** we the elitist, ***** we the achievers & ***** we achieving man..

/(Yeah *****3)
I'm ready for war *****
(Yeah *****3)
I'm ready for whatever man..Uhh/2

Only For The Real Entertainment
Young Ston

Another girl walks away, with tears running down her face
Another boy is standing there, trying not to give a care
Two more hearts are given a little more wear, then they could ever bear
I try not to let myself in
Other then to help them heal what has been

I begin to wonder why, cupid's aim had been gone
Is my heart gonna lead through the same wrong
I can't grip on to the arrows, knowing that a chance of wasted time is there
When all along

I just wanna be with a girl that leads the stars
A girl that will help me travel far
Somebody that can light the candles, with nothing more then her smile
That girl who is ready for war, and never too afraid to show her scares
A girl that always is ready to dial, for the long talks when our hands are too far
A girl whose eyes drive me crazy, a little more each time they meet
The feel of her breath running down my chin, knocking out the sun
I just wanna girl who is ready for, constant endless nights

I walked over to her house later that night
Just to see if everything was alright
Her daddy was trying ask her about that fight
Trying to help his little girl through, the first of more
Her momma saw me outside
Hurried me in to her daughter's side
There was nothing more that they could do
Since she had sealed them away, ready to take away the pain

She heard me knocking at her bedroom door right as she had lost all hope
Little did I know, that I was what she was wanting
When she opened up I stood there, ready for whispers of despair
I found the knife and kicked it to the hall
She then jumped up to the kiss, casting out the haunting
It looks like I finally found

The girl that leads the stars
The girl that will help me travel far
Somebody that can light the candles, with nothing more then her smile
The girl who is ready for war, but never too afraid to show her scares
The girl that always is ready to dial, for the long talks when our hands are too far
The girl whose eyes drive me crazy, a little more each time they meet
The feel of her breath running down my chin, knocking out the sun
I finally found the girl who was ready for those constant endless nights

A few days later he saw us there, laying in the park watching the skies over our heads
He wanted to start a fight, thinking that I took his might
He grabbed a knife and tried throw it towards her
I stopped him before he could
And told him that he needed to end his thoughts
But just remember this

Someday you will find the girl that leads the stars
The girl that will help him travel far
Somebody that can light the candles, with nothing more then her smile
The girl who is ready for war, but never too afraid to show her scares
The girl that always is ready to dial, for the long talks when your hands are too far
The girl whose eyes drive you crazy, a little more each time they meet
The feel of her breath running down your chin, knocking out the sun
Someday you will find that girl who was ready for those constant endless nights

He took the my words very well and wished her that all was swell
I looked at her just one more time, only to find that she was gone
She ran towards the boys side, asking him why did he start the war
When he was the one that left her side
He told her that he was high, had to clue of what went by
She only got mad, to find out that he had lied
She told him to stay away, she didn't want to hear the truth
Thinking that it was her fault, she ran off in the blink of an eye
I chased her to the side of the canyon, knowing what she was gonna do
I grabbed her arm and shouted please don't go
She ****** and asked me why
Thinking that her whole life was a lie
All I had to say was

She was the girl that lead the stars
The girl that will help me travel far
Candles burn from light of her smile
She was the girl who is ready for war, but never too afraid to show her scares
The girl that I am always ready to dial, for the long talks brewing when our hands are too far
The girl whose eyes drive me crazy, a little more each time they meet
The feel of her breath running down me chin was enough to knock out the sun
She was girl who I was ready to spend those constant endless nights

Sweat glistens on her brow
She’s ready
The sun shines behind her head
She’s ready
Her shadow dances on the track
She’s ready
Her teammates’ eyes are on her back
She’s ready
The starter’s arm brings up the gun
She’s ready
Her muscles loose; prepared to run
She’s ready
She hears a whisper to her right
She’s ready
The gun goes off with blinding light
She’s ready
Nothing at all can stop her now
She’s ready
Blood slips slowly down her brow
She’s ready
She breaks the ribbon; wins the race
She’s ready
A reddened mask covers her face
She’s ready
The starting gun had shot no blank
She’s ready
The crowd’s cheers died and their hearts sank
She’s ready
The finish line is painted white
She’s ready
The runner lives until that night

Im ready
Ready to give up
Ready to stay broken
Ready to stay on the ground
Ready to not get up
To let God push me back into my place
Ready to stop

Just kidding

I ready to fight
Im ready fall for what i believe
Ready to live
Ready Cry
Ready to Smile
Ready to scream
I wont give up
I have fought to long
Im not ready to give up
                                          Not to myself

Under your loving hands, like an infant, I rest, protected in hand.
Under the vast emptiness and dullness of the galaxy, your light shines, your robe, O so white!
SO glorious your face, your presence!

Your presence, it caresses me, with just a little bit more, I would have been crushed and would have been drowned under my own tears and would have dented the marble floor with certain and whole-hearted knees.

How marvelous is that cross...a word won't fit it.
That cross...if only words, dots, dashes, and punctuation can have more to offer. An endless murky drowning sea of words of different fonts and sizes won't quite make the mark.

You made my mouth like a sharpened sword. Ready to fight for your name, ready to stand my ground, ready to make the darkness fear and make fallen angels regret their mistakes. They already are.
ready to open hearts and minds, as you call many to you.

You make me like a polished arrow. Ready to go wherever you shoot me, ready to tear down what the devil has built. Ready to have your word, the gospel tied to me, as I fly through the spiritual realm and spread your word, the gospel. Simply the gospel. NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS.

You hid me in the shadow of your hand. You cover me. You protect me. You hide me even if it seemed like all eyes were on me. Maybe they are on you. I want to be more like you in image O LORD.  

You concealed me in your quiver, God USE me!!! IF only words quite make sounds of hunger and thirst and the cries of my spirit and my new heart to you! You polished me and I am ready.
Ready whenever you say its time to go, or then I have to stand strong. Ready whenever, wherever, however you call me.

You polished me.
I am sharpened.
I am a polished arrow and have a sharpened mouth.
"Okay LORD GOD, I am ready."

I wasn't ready.
I wasn't ready for your emerald eyes to bat their way into my heart. I wasn't ready for my world to revolve around you. I wasn't ready for you to act like you cared. I wasn't ready to have you rip yourself away from me after I'd grown attached. I wasn't ready to try and develop a new habit to forget about my habit of loving you. I wasn't prepared for all the pain that comes from withdrawals. I wasn't ready to be used. I wasn't ready to be thrown away. I wasn't ready to battle these recurring dreams of me in your arms. I wasn't ready for my fantasy to be shattered by the harsh, cold, reality that you never cared.
I wasn't ready.
But who ever is?