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Mateuš Conrad Jul 2016
it's the 50th anniversary edition of william burrough's naked lunch, with the original cover, looking at all the annexes is like watching modern history with Russian annexing Crimea, anyway...

indeed the nature of addiction, i chose mine to
cure my insomnia - i *chose
mine -
the less nasty less mythical name for it is indeed
metabolism - any hard-craft alcoholic walks into
a bar - drunk ******* and egoistically gluttonous
idiots come out like giraffes - vomiting into
the gutters, more Marilyn Monroe moments
showing off knickers even without the metro gust -
you drink enough and watch people drinking
for the psychoactive ingredient for dis-inhibiting
effects (buttered up talk, smooth there, quasi
Don Juan wannabes) - as Burroughs said: PLAN
YOUR ADDICTION - become addicted if some other
weakness is beating you - amtitriptyline doesn't
work without alcohol to what's desired as the lullaby
effect prior to K.O. - don't measure up to a veteran,
he'll beat you with experience, given it works -
i can imagine why hallucinogenics aren't metabolically
affecting - too much implants concerning the
world beyond, and god, and the secret of the universe -
you can't get addicted to these things - because there's
the bad trip, and you're off the hook - no more spiritual
trips looking for answers - repetition of the everyday
kills it off like flicking off a light switch - but, years
after the Beat movement, the Beats really did underestimate
the addiction of marijuana - they thought it was
the ****** drunk... oddly enough marijuana is linked to
alcohol and ****** addiction, it too is metabolic -
i'm not a medical expert... but i have heard of stoners
and their munchies - anything relating to food,
to metabolism is included, marijuana is the middle-guy
between the standards and Disney -
you heard of being monged, right? marijuana is as addictive
as alcohol - originally a giggly drug, a conversation
starter - marijuana - ends up being
an Jason Segel and Ed Helms film Jeff, who lives at Home,
it's this uncontrollable effect that proper intentions of
marijuana have: supreme thoughtlessness - or
the present vogue concerning "mindfulness" -
Jeff basically overthought himself on the high - he didn't
detach himself from thinking, now he's paying the price -
he's making completely random associations -
and why do stoners always waste their time in front
of t.v. or television - marijuana is a purely auditory drug -
******* to the park, pretend to be a fake Buddha imitation
and create the void in yourself to make your mind
the M25 at 3 a.m. - but this innocence with the Beat
movement associating itself with marijuana is partly
why it was legalised - the government wants rejects and,
to be frank? retards - that's why they legalised it -
they knew with the munchies jokes that marijuana had
the same metabolic addiction components as alcohol and
***** - you're metabolic dude! once addiction sets in
you're no longer in control of brain-freeze - you didn't
think it up on the psychoactive Everest - when the nice
sensation was still there, marijuana realised you zombie much
later - all the in-jokes of stoner culture suddenly passed you,
simulation dementia ensued - i'm way past the psychoactive
asset of alcohol, no slurred speech, no nothing -
but i retain the psychoactive point of metabolising excess
alcohol: if i didn't, i would sleep! i wouldn't sleep!
don't get me wrong, i get the point that i can't really
experience the negatives of reaching the psychoactive purpose
of alcohol and ***** in a street or join the football hooligans -
and surgeons drink to calm the nerves and calm the hand -
but alcohol is more cool headed and less phantasmagorical
than ***** addiction, for one thing your palette improves -
you find the most boring tasks liberating -
but the nights are the real nights, esp. if slumped on the sofa
watching t.v., unless you don't have a backlog of un-watched
Versailles or Billions episodes, you really need to go for
a 4 mile walk and breath the air - then half-sleep for
about an 2 hours (because you have limited money and
sometimes you pass a day without Auburn Whitney) -
you become rigorous - the prime solipsism - no time for
girlfriends, doesn't matter, my genitals weren't mutilated
as a child, no one forced a ****-*******-marriage-ring
on my finger - i can actually enjoy addiction - i end up
eating one meal a day - of course my face looks candyfloss
puffed up - but my soul is partly helium pubescent -
alcohol addiction is not ***** addiction even both
are primes of metabolism takeovers - no hung-overs too,
no blackouts - no fake "i can't remember" stories
when something ****** up happened - and certainly no
innocent look at the fact that marijuana is also a metabolic
addiction - unless of course you limit psychic ingestion
(excluding music, music is great to arrive at thoughtlessness),
but as most stoners (the next alcoholics) prove,
garbage the mind with American Dad and then get hungry -
binge eat - the stomach can drag the brain right down
into the acid pit and fry it - zombies galore - you won't be
able to catch yourself stopping thinking, the stomach
will do that for you, and you'll enter the zombie apocalypse:
just like my neighbour - there's a rat-like ritual involved,
for example, most people get sleepy from marijuana -
so it's not an addiction standing at a bus stop
pretending to be waiting for a bus and smoking?
that's addiction - the metabolic Gargantua has already caught-up,
addiction is primarily a solitary affair - it just depends
what you do with it... i'd be ashamed with my alcoholism
if i didn't write poems - the counter-effect is that i feel
some sort of social-inclusion when the day finishes -
i feed the cats, write invoices for my father (40% of
18 - 35 year olds live with their parents, because all
the foreigners bought all the houses intended as: buy to let -
is my money going down my drain, or is this
a post-Freud Oedipus stigmata killing familial relations
altogether?), cook, clean the house once a week,
cut the cats' nail and brush them - and to counter
what i don't do? can you imagine listening to a symphony
with only violins playing? not so genius hearing that
sort of Hollywood story with only cameo characters speaking.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2018
. she was 19, i was 21, and i guess i was the first boy who treated her decently, allowed her to slap me in the face and stood like a copper statue before her... she wouldn't have made it at university among all the English yuppies, being pregnant... turns out, she might have opted for the Juno (the movie) route... all i know is that she graduated with a masters in anthropology... she was up in Edinburgh, i was back in London, roofing with my father doing the Scottish Widows HQ and then some other project, trying to weave myself into a managerial position in some roofing company... but then? the psychosis spiral... oddly enough - no hammers, no hearing voices wielding a hammer running down the street naked... contained... walked into a church near King's Cross st., lay on beside a the side altar, pulled the cloth from the altar, and wrapped myself in it... then heard singing, had my iPod with me... turned it off... turned it on again, turned it off... the singing still echoed the church... got up, put the cloth back onto the altar and started running around the church aisles... then a great wind dispersed the singing... what kept my sanity? well... given that i was smoking marijuana and fasting? one word... sátān... the whole 40 days in the desert? cut short... in a concrete desert... i phoned my then ex-girlfriend to meet me at this spot outside the church - right across from a royal mail HQ - and i remember the words: can you bring me bread, and water? nothing... on my own then... no... that sort of experience is no cause for jubilation, there is no ******* euphoria: you're talking about ******* it - in my case? thankfully that's only metaphorical... and i'm not buying the psychiatric *******, the easy way out answer: ooh... but youz ver in a church... what?! what the **** are these people talking about? sober people are allowed to have these experiences? well, really?! so why so many of them are negating or doubting intellectuals?! negation is the new doubt... somehow i managed to fend off the atypical munchies routine while smoking marijuana while walking in public... never bothered me... i was a reggae ***** at the time... notably Israel Vibration, Stephen Marley, Damian & Culture... & ***** and the Maytals... cliche, i know... but **** and rap?! seriously? gangster whatever the hell that means... i've just read an article about cultural appropriation... so what has the Jamaican Rastafarian culture have to do with Old Testament prophets?! JAH... they're always singing about JAH... it's a ******* yak! yah! a german YA! cultural appropriation my ***! it's Jamie Oliver's **** sauce! ****'s sake! yeah, right, Bambi on Jamaica smoking a silly one doing the reinvention of king David's psalms... no cultural appropriation there... nope... none... nothing... nothing wrong with Alpha Blondy singing about Yerushalem... nope... no cultural appropriation.... nope... none... nothing! i mentioned these bands to my Jamaican **** seller... big on the Illuminati conspiracy theories, i liked to listen to him ramble... hardly a Charlie Temple paranoid... loved his ox tail broth, his grandma made it for him... and a pretty daughter, but no mother... eh? his Thai ****? i'd prefer the shorter span of a tobacco high... where? near my old high school, Canon Palmer R.C. - now a ******* academy! whoop! whoop! sound the klaxon! you don't experience what i've experienced and start a cult with *** ****** in mind... like **** if you think you do... you... lay low... you puncture the existentialist exodus from Cartesian doubt - namely outright negation - and you wait for the revitalization of doubt, namely the pop culture variant of belief... doubt is, oddly enough, a variant of belief... and belief? be a leaf... just remember you were once attached to a branch of a tree.


        a catholic school isn't
exactly a Jesuit school...

but being asked questions
about abortion
and euthanasia

   aged 15 or 16?

in real life?
  you short-circuit, glitch,
become ronin -

    the personal life, details?
too messy...
   she tells you she's taking
   she's ends up self-harming...
she says she was abducted
and held for ransom,
she's a russian citizen,
her ex-boyfriend is still
hanging around,
  a son of some Russian oligarch...
you've only dated for a
bunch of months that do not
even make it half a year...
you don't mind condoms,
because... hell...
you'd love to see her wearing

     you know, the usual bits & bobs...

    for some strange reason i woke
up, and the ring finger blister
on my left hand, made by burning
out a cigarette on it
started bleeding:
  close to the bone -
and look! you get a slot motion
of your body recovering!
  no disclaimer concerning
the pros to what sharp objects
women do, by cutting...

but you know...
      asking a 15 / 16 year old
about his opinion
  about either abortion
or euthanasia?
  bad ******* move...
           at this point i'm thinking:
thank ****...

what does it even mean,
when a woman says it,
she's not exactly point-break
on Cartesian logic...

'matt, i think i'm pregnant'
'well, you know what you should
do, get an abortion.'

mind you... i am a citizen of a country
where abortion is legal...
hell, it might have worked,
*** was good, she could
reciprocate that sentiment...

oh, but if there is a kid at the end
of the tunnel?
i **** sure hope he doesn't
contact me, like a kid from
a ***** donor clinic...
      there's something malicious
waiting for him for me
to add about his mamma -

oh you know... *****, Henny,
  Diana and the Egyptian...
   go Charlie go!

                  please please keep
your name... we need a Charles trinity!

so yeah... Roman Catholic school...
****! oh right, outer east end of London...
Paddy central...
               i wonder...
                  but i'll never know...
the Polish Catholics are leaving...
               good on 'em...
          (yadda yadda, yeah yeah, for them)...

i'll never know...
   am i angry?
               i listen to Byzantine and Templar
chants and drink to a well earned
               sometimes the odd Bulgarian
******* to hug...
oh right... that one last time?
i didn't forget my genitals...
   i did an uncourteous lax of etiquette...
           now it makes sense!
i forgot to trim my ***** hair!
(mumbling out) ******* eureka.
Chameleon Aug 2018
Sometimes I get the munchies so bad after smoking **** that I pick something I normally wouldn't.
Tonight before work I stopped at the gas station and my eyes skated across an Oreo cookie brownie.
I have had one before so I already knew it was exactly what I needed.
As I was driving I took bite after bite until finally, because it is so dense and sugary, I had to take a drink.
I ate nearly all of it in the 5 minutes it takes to get to work, but now I have just a little bit left that will probably go to waste because the munchies wore off and like I said,
I don't normally go for that kind of snack.
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2018
you know that...
kramer vs. kramer

    the fran...

PRfprintf(err, "Usage: tail [-n <n>] [-f] [-h] <filename>\n");
fprintf(err, "\t-t <n> Dally time in milliseconds\n");
    PRfprintf(err, "\t-n <n> Number of bytes before <eof>\n");
fprintf(err, "\t-f   Follow the <eof>\n");
    PR_fprintf(err, "\t-h   This message and nothing else\n");
}  /Help/

tail C....
        waiter! waiter!

francis sayz...
or rather... said...

kinda picky, i must admid...
and i "thought"
the english were bad...
   minding the huguenots...
oh look who's coming,
a steamroller...
steamroller who?
              give it about an hour or
so... we'll get the crêpe in
the end...
                            it's like...
you really want to ask a question...
but ask it...
in the proliferate dimension?

you know what drunk munchies
looks like?
looks likes so:

oh ****...
     that croissant didn't do it...
think think think, man! think!
frying pan...
refrigerated butter...
two eggs, one slice of white
beat the eggs into a scrambled
egg goo...
then dip the slice of white bread
into it... soak it...
then fry it...
                attempt to melt some
brie onto it...
add some apricot jam,
    or honey into the composition...
**** me...
  in synch.! ladies and gentlemen!
we have ourselves....
                  a ******* orchestra!
Jackie  Apr 2014
Choose Weed
Jackie Apr 2014
Choose ****. Choose a dealer. Choose your rolling papers. Choose a ****. Choose mind numbingly long conversations about **** all. Choose home grown. Choose frequent holidays to amsterdam. Choose red eyes. Choose the biggets pizza ever for when the munchies kick in. Choose paranoia. Choose chilling with mates. Choose hallucinating about a giant green hedgehog following you home. Choose watching Cheech and Chong. Choose skunk. Choose super skunk. Choose hiding your stash from the police. Choose spilling ***** **** water on your carpet. Choose a fake jamaican accent. Choose space cakes. Choose your future. Choose ****.
Y  May 2015
lazy on herbs
Y May 2015
5 feet away, nomnom
5 minutes past 7 o'clock
It's been five hours now since nomnom

high on herbs
Seeing the tasty food
But deep in lazy

Munchies and whispering voices
******, so much a lazy slob
ranDom mysTeries out in June
Loading the bowl and packing it tight
Take a rip off this chronic delight
Let your mind soar, weave and wander
Relax, hold it in just a bit longer
Let the spirit of the bud fill your lungs
Ghost it, ballpark, have a little fun
Feel your eyes droop low, streaked with red
When suddenly your stuck, you can't get out of bed
Your tummy starts to grumble, your mouth grows dry
You stumble towards the kitchen and eat an entire pie
You move towards cabinets laden with sweets
You eat the saltines, canned corn and canned beets
You devour all the candy, you inhale all the fruits
You head towards the fridge and receive some bad news
The milks gone sour, and there's nothing to drink
Your mouth is so dry and you can't even think
Water is flavorless and wine is too strong
Getting so desperate, take a swig off the ****?
Ew, that's too gross, I'm sure you'll survive
But next time this happens, keep a soda near by
Eliot Winkler  Apr 2015
Eliot Winkler Apr 2015
Munchies are awful,
They make me want to eat by the handful,
I feel less and less powerful,
As every hour goes by I eat, still full.

My appetite burns green,
It's for the good veggies, I mean.
Unfortunately I get paid so lean,
Anything healthy off a plate I rarely clean.

I eat starch, and I eat wheat,
I especially love it when I add meat.
All the wonderfully cheap things for myself I treat.
I find food in convenience stores neat!
Lady Narnia  Aug 2016
Lady Narnia Aug 2016
It's time for lunch
And I want food
Something with a punch
Something really good...

I ordered a burrito
With delicious pulled pork
Its a little big though
I might need a fork...

I'm ready to eat
This incredible dish
I go and take a seat
And fulfill my wish

Bite after bite, heaven reaches my lips
As every taste bud meets an angel
This wonder perched upon my fingertips
Takes me beyond to an untold fable

Delicate mixtures of cheese and cream
Succulent pieces of tender meat
Miraculous flavor beyond that of a dream
On a tortilla of silken soft wheat

There is only one word left to say
As the tasty story comes to a close
Returning from this indulgent fey
Feeling like a remarkable rose

Robert Guerrero  Nov 2014
Robert Guerrero Nov 2014
I have a bad case of the munchies
Should have took a right
Maybe the next exit on this stoner highway
Will lead to munchville
This 1991 Chevy S10 is Casa de marijuana
Stoners only ride
6 oz of berry white
2 oz of bubba kush
3 1/2 gs of Pineapple Express
I'm ******
Yet I've only had 4 bowls 2 extendo blunts
And 1 braided joint
Lost my touch
Hold on
Let me get right
Alright I'm not even high
Lets smoke another bowl
I'm ready to **** it up all night
Smoke out the western hemisphere
I'm a stoner
Staying ****** in ******* Mexico
So roll you a blunt
Pack a bowl
**** up the night
Get ******* ******
Stoned_in_mexico is actually my Instagram and kik name lol so I had to use it in a stoner poem
Jay Jimenez Sep 2013
I walk these streets
and hear the pitter patter of rain
paint the street
I throw on the beats
and get my audio on/
I Feel the rain wash down my neck
and a trickle goes down my spine
as the music travels up my spine
My eyes get bloodshot off of the Pine Smell of my bud in the air
I take a long drag and watch the cherry get really long
its a long walk but I have a shaggy stroll and keep in mind
that I'm baked listenin to Method Man while the music is in sychronization with
the view of a lighting striking. It blows my mind that I almost trip over a curb
and scuff up my Jordan Flights that have been ruined from being my most comfortable walking shoes. I look around and see a couple kids buying a 10 sack or 20 sack from a Somalian..... which isnt smart cuz" half the time that **** aint even ****"(quoting Thorogood from Half baked).
I gigle and think about what If I just yelled freeze what there reaction would be

but I just pass by and wave with my blunt in the air
Saluting the other *** heads out in these elements to get faded
May the Force be with you Young Jedi
Jedi Mind Tricks switch over onto my headphones
and I begin to think my blunt is a light saber
and im on some type of epic adventour....
But I'm only go to the grocery store for another wrap, a bottle of welches strawberry soda,and a nutty bar...

Muchies will take you the strangest places.
Nikita  May 2015
Nikita May 2015
When the fridge is so far away but you crave the munchies.

Im over long distance relationships

— The End —