the words that flow from my soul

to my veins and out through my fingertips,

to most are obstructed by either confusion, misunderstanding

or whatever other baggage they carry that won't let my abstract thoughts

penetrate their unfortunate heavy epicenter.



never have my expressions been powerful enough to break them,

i met you, spent half a day with you, and you left,

that was it, gone, just like that,

1,000's of miles away.



but however, whatever ill-fated scenario that was,

we speak to each others soul, lover we don't even have the same native tongue,

yet you understand my core better than any other that has ever entered my leading light.



i'm taken back to a child-like state,

i feel scared, forlorn.

i'm afraid just like an absent father,

you will provide me with certainty that it will happen.



sweetheart, i hate to break this to you but,

age doesn't pause for life, love or the desire to pursue you

as scary as it may be, if what is spoken to me is true

that dive, as deep, as dark as it may be, know i am writing to you from the depths.

i vow, i won't let you drown. please, babe, dive in,  

my skin is only withering without you.



love & art, 1991

henk holveck

i hoped every word in my poems
knocked the bricks off your wall of fear
i would have held you, protected you and loved you
until my last breath.

unfortunately, your doubts overshadowed my transparency
it is not a surprise as i have become used to the exit door
when the right human does come i will have so much love to share
i wish you the best, my friend...

im not going to sit here and lie
your beautiful and gentle glow will be missed
but i know there's nothing i could do
as you have made up your mind

i will always be here
i am in love with what we had
you brought me no stress
no lonliness and no fear

love and art, 1991,
henk holveck

please leave your judgment of me

you and i may choose separate ways

but ultimately we both will have regrets,

both will experience what it means to love

im henk holveck.

not the name given to me at birth,

why? it takes far too much innocence

and causes far too much guilt to hear such bitter words.

when you are ten and you absorb the words,

you immediately lose all your trust,

you don’t know what or who to believe,

i wish i had some more answers

i don’t blame my guardians,

as they didn’t know either

but now that im a grown androgynous mind

i feel more alone every second

i feel as though i’ve raised myself…

and by that i mean had to raise myself to manage emotions

to this day when i feel lonely im told to fold it up,

into ignorant acid soaked paper as green and painful as discharge.

everyone who still talks to me likes to ask

what happened? why did you turn out like this?

i just politely smile and tell them,

i was born to be misunderstood.

because this is my life and i’ll keep breathing till something inside tells me to leave.