One
Two
Four?
Hmm..

(Three silly
You’re mad)

Mad I am
Mad I'll stay
Trapped in my mind
Never to stray

(Don't you get lonely?)

No my dear
Don't you hear?

(Hear what?)

Voices all around
So much sound!
Never lonely
No not I

(Speak the truth mister)

Oh I never lie
Truth is as truth does

(What does it do?)

Well it lies of course

Little boy smiling at me
Innocent and sweet
At the time he was a pain I hated to meet
My blonde bouncy curls he liked to pull
Teasing me had done it's toll
I'd chase him around
Doing circles on the playground
Just two young kids teasing eachother till no end
He was a stubborn boy, refusing to bend
Years passed as the boy grew into a strong willed man
I grew into a lanky woman without any goals or life plan
We drifted apart for awhile
Became separated by miles
You know when you meet someone again that you haven't seen for awhile?
It's hard not to remember them as they were when they were but a child
Meeting him again something had changed
Something that made my heart ache in way that was strange
Wanted to be close to him
Yet his once innocent eyes warned of sin
I could tell that the man had been through pain
I feared that this spark wouldn't remain
The boy was was still haunting my mind
The man was a reminder I was running out of time
Once so ornery and carefree
Now he could barely smile at me
I could tell he wanted this just as much
Seemed to fight the urge to lean in whenever we touched
So different they were. The boy and the man that he had become
The boy was there for me. The man just disregards my love
The man is forever fighting against the pull of fate
By the time he realizes what he needs it'll be too late
The one who use to chase me
Now tries to flee
Funny how the roles reversed
After so long I searched
Waited for him to come back here
Now all his pain screams not to come near
Strong man hiding from me
Broken and free
Long ago he was an innocent boy that taunted
Now he is the man that has left my heart haunted

I thought
To step
Outside
Of my
Comfort zone
But I
tripped
And fell
To my knees
Then suddenly
I became
Scared to
Try it
Again

Keeps pulling me in

It's about to begin

Leaning close to me
   Sighing

Stepping a little closer not done
   Trying

Leaves my body
   Quaking

My soul
   Shaking

Speaking honey dripped words
   Breathtaking

Perfection for awhile never
   Swaying

Waiting for a sign that he is
   Faking

When it is shown it will be
  Heartbreaking

My heart is his for the
  Taking

Still pulling me in

Going to let it begin

Ignore the side of me that is use to
   Denying

Mute the voice as it whispers, "One of you is Lying."

Quiet my little dolly
Your screaming is folly
***** strings for hair
Button eyes stare
Dress of old cloths
Been eaten by moths
Stuffing leaking out of your tummy
Makes you look quite funny
Shoes nowhere to be seen
Must have floated upstream
Further up then the dolly did
When she was tossed by her kid
Now she cries everyday
Wanting someone to find her and play

There was a boy who had to learn very young how to fend for himself

Fore his family never cared enough to remember to put food on the shelf

The streets can be harsh for one so little

But this boy learned quickly and so he gathered enough coin to purchase a fiddle

Sitting on the street corner everyday

The boy would place his coin plate and then he'd begin to play

At first the crowd was small

But soon the boys song began to lure all

The plate grew heavy with many of coin and his belly was always full

But good fortune can only last so long when you live under the Devils rule

His parents grew envious of the boys coin and fiddle so one day the boy left to go play

He returned to find his fiddle broken and pieces thrown every which way

His plate of coin was in his father's hand

He said 'boy you do not need this much coin, these riches are meant for a man'

The boy could do nothing fore he was too small

So the next day came and the people waited for the fiddles call

They began to protest when the boy did not show

Marching to the boys house refusing to go

The father came out and said there was no more fiddle

Then the boy stepped out with his chin held high trying to not look so little

The crowd began to cheer when they heard the familiar song

The boy held his mended fiddle proudly as the crowd began to sway along

Out from the crowd stepped a old woman who had sold the fiddle to the boy when she saw he was in need

Then he brought her the broken fiddle and she gave him a new one with the promise that he'd be freed

The woman stepped up and took the boys hand

She looked at the father and told him to get off her land

The old woman, not known to the boys parents, owned the town and would not tolerate this type of sin

So she had the boys admirers run them off and then she banished the boys torturers from ever returning again

They lived up on a hill

In an old farm house along side the old wind mill

Out front was the old barn that leaned slightly to one side

It had been used for many years and filled the owners with pride

On the farm the family continued to stay

The mother and two sons living peacefully day after day

Then came a time when the mother grew sick

All gathered around the bed as the final clock began to tick

She passed away leaving the sons all alone

They continued to live but the farm no longer felt like home

Espically to the one son that was called Sam

He withdrew into himself and became just a shadow of a man

On the outside everything seemed fine

No one suspected that Sam was running out of time

Not even the other son, John, who worked the farm alongside him

So it came as a shock when Sam committed the ultimate sin

In that barn on the hill

A man entered and time stood still

Sam told John he was doing a chore and smiled as he went to the barn

A shot rang out that awoke the many sleeping animals on the farm

What to do when you enter the place that you knew so well

Only to find that your brother lays with a gun and an empty shotgun shell

What a sight to see that early in the morning

The heavens did weep as the rain started pouring

Mourning the loss of another so soon

As the wind whistled a sorrowful tune

So a few months after he had buried his mother

John had to keep it together so he could bury his brother

Staying strong as the world falls apart

Keeping their memories close to his heart

Yet he couldn't stand to stay

So he moved to get away

Now the barn on the hill stands empty along with the rest of the farm

An abandoned home ruined by death and self harm

She lay so still and silent right next to me

Mama laid on her bed made of straw unmoving
Mama stayed quiet as I asked her to speak
Mama didn't acknowledged my presence
Mama had bruises that were faded all over her pale skin
Mama freed herself of papa's blows
Mama did leave me all alone
Mama looked so lonely in her red stained gown
Mama stinked up the barn as she continued to lay
Mama had her hands wrapped tightly around the dagger in her chest
Mama finally moved when strange men carried her out of this place
Mama wasn't here when the strangers came again
Mama didn't see them take me away from papa and his fists
Mama wouldn't know I was angry that she left
Mama couldn't see me crying over her memory
Mama needs to know that I think of her everyday  
Mama wanted to be put out of misery
Mama thought she had no choice but to leave me

Now I see all she wanted was to be free

I was lost and had not a clue
Till I commented on a poem and met you
A man who fascinated me every day
A man who lived so far away
He said he was mad like the Hatter
I asked him why did that matter?
My Hatter was mad indeed
When he got on a plane to come see me
We fell fast
Many doubted we'd last
Yet we continue to hold eachothers hearts
My Hatter and I will never part

Oh I am not enough
I am to hard to love
I am a little sick once in a while
But your sickness beats mine by a mile

I like to be alone
You want me to always be home
I thought to leave
You said feel free

I thought to pack my bags
Before I could everything became rags
I had that foot out the door
But then you begged to try a little more

I always hated merry-go-rounds
I always despised loud sounds
You love to spin me so fast
Yelling so loud that I forget my past

Who was I before I read your lines
Who woke me up to these signs
I think this sloth may speed up today
Leave everything and runaway

I decided to run on this grassy plain
Spreading my arms and hoping to stay sane
I imagined myself as a bird, at home in the sky
I thought maybe his words wouldn't reach me if I went real high
Oh how I would like to fly

I buried myself so his darkness couldn't seek
I thought maybe his madness had finally reached its peak
The hangman is so articulate when it comes to games such as this
He checked every grave and I only had a short lived bliss
Oh how I wish I never gave him my kiss

I needed to overcome this man
I searched desperately for a new plan
I hiked for miles up a mountainous path
I felt inner peace and sunlight at last
Oh how nice, but the sun was soon consumed by the blackness of his wrath

Beautful innocent man, don't come to close to me
But I want him closer so I can see
He has so much inner brightness
While I'm clouded by the hangman who deprives me of lightness
Still I want the sunny man and all his kindness

Listen closely to the unsteady beat
Over and over it admits defeat
Victory seemed impossible
Everything then became unstoppable

Memory of being alone keeps me true
Escaped loneliness when I saw you

Always searched for the one
Living now for true love
Walking away instead of mending
Abandonment is not our ending
You will forever have my heart
So stay with me and never part

All this time spent listening to false words
They demanded to be heard
Like useless lullabies
They used to tell me nothing but lies
Hear my cries
Watch me die
This is everything I despise
How can I go on
Hanging on for to long
You have not seen what I have seen with these eyes
I think it's time to finally cut ties
Say a final farewell and be done with these lies
I need to go to a place with newer skies
Away from all these goodbyes  
Now I must go away from here and find a new home
Somewhere I'll no longer feel alone
I need this now more than ever
Stop being a follower when it's time to be clever
Goodbye old me
Time to face reality
Stop living in the clouds
Time to voice my thoughts out loud
Be who I was meant to be
Who I'm supposed to be
Not who they want to be
But who I need to be in order to achieve
Everything

Fast feet
Pounding on the wet ground
Away from me
I'm screaming. You hear no sound
Head pointed forward
Eyes aimed straight ahead
Where are you headed toward?
Feet struggle to keep up with the one that fled
Rain drenching my skin
Thunder echoing in my ear
Storm holds me back again
Body aches to catch up so you'd be near
You were always faster than me
Always fleeing and I was left to try to retrieve
You were always loud and free
I was always more quiet. Never one to leave
Now here you are leaving me again to deal with the pain
Now I swallowed my fear to chase
My feet stumble. I can't seem to gain
Slow down and make this an even race
Fast feet
Running away from me
Slow down and try to see
That it is you I need

Darkness is what the young boy awakened to.

It surrounded him making his fear rise

He began to cry out for his mother.

Silence is the only answer he got.

'Where's mama?' The boy thought

He scrambled to get up from his makeshift bed.

On the floor in the kitchen of their Chicago apartment is where they slept.

Always slept in the kitchen because mama said the demons wouldn't get them in the kitchen.

The boy listened in the dark for any sounds to indicate where his mother might be.

Hearing a faucet running from the bathroom sink.

Finding his way out of the kitchen he got out into the hall to find the bathroom light was on.

As he got closer he could hear his mom mumbling. "Mama?" The boy started to open the cracked door wider.

"Stay away boy! Boy. My boy Alek. Away. Go away. Evil beings with daggers say go. Go away." His mother was shrieking again.

He didn't like when his mom got this way. It was happening more and more.

She use to take him out to the park. Out to get get food.

She hadn't taken the boy out in days. He'd been having to go out by himself.

Asking for food from one of the neighbors.

There were papers getting slid under the door daily that read eviction notice.

He kept bringing them to his mom but she kept tearing them up.

He was really scared this time as he gazed at his mama where she crouched in the corner of their small bathroom.

Both the bathtub faucet and the sink faucet were on full blast.

Her hands were over her ears as she muttered about things that the boy couldn't comprehend.

Feeling scared and uncertain the boy went back to the kitchen and got under the blankets.

Covering his head and ears. Trying to block out the sounds coming from the bathroom.

Eventually everything became silent.

The silence bothered the boy more than anything.

Shaking, he arose once again and made his way to the bathroom.

He could hear the water still running, but his mom had gone silent.

Fear settled around the boy like a old friend, making his trembling worse.

He knew something wasn't right.

Nothing ever was right.

But now he knew for certain that something bad had happend.

Dread hung heavy in the air as the boy stepped into the cramped bathroom, his feet wet with water.

That was the first thing the young boy saw. It was gushing out of the tub.

Out of the sink. Running out of the tiled bathroom floor to the hall.

He rushed over to the bathtub to try and turn the nozzle off like he had seen his mama do before.

His tiny hand slipped at first, not able to firmly grasp the nozzle.

Eventually he grasped it and turned it till the faucet gave one last gurgle and drip before finally shutting off.

Then he ran over to the sink where he saw his mom's shirt was stuffed into the drain.

Preventing the water from going down. He removed it before shutting off the sink.

His mama had done this before. She always said the dark man wants the water. He never knew what she meant.

Couldn't understand the dark man was in her mind.

That she was in desperate need of help.

But nobody around these parts got help when it came to mental illness. Not if you didn't have any family.

And the woman only had her young son.

Who was currently crying and screaming at what he had found.

His mom crouched over in the corner, not making a sound

Bloodied wrists. A razor blade lay near.

Sickening to think that maybe if someone cared she could've gotten help

But that was not the Fate of the woman who only had her son.

Instead she took an out, leaving the young boy with no one.

Me and my desperate lies
All because I choose to hide the truth with a lie

(You hide what you feel with your lies
But If I look deep enough I can hear your cries
Trapped within your thoughts refusing help from all who sees
I will stay by your side until the darkness flees
I won't abandon you even when you tell me to leave
For the truth is I need you just as much as I hope you need me)

Our need what a dangerous thing
Because without a whim or wish we do refrain
I need to be helped, I need to breathe
Because if I don't in these emotions I do seethe
I wish I may I wish I might
Take away your pain tonight
With my desperate pleading cries
That I do hide inside
My wishes and hopes that I wish to achieve
Are simply that but I hope to be
I feel as if I'm tearing apart at the seams
But sadly no one notices but me

(No one notices you?
But I notice everything you do
What you hold back, don't say
I hear your cries clear as day
I know how you feel at night
Wanting answers, wanting to make everything right
I won't let you be alone
My grip on you is tight, and I don't believe in letting you go)

But how do you save someone who's done
Who feels they're already as good as gone

(You love them more than ever before
Love them till even the thought of leaving makes their heart sore)

Hardly enough time to write
Put down in words how I feel inside
Lonely and confused
Sore and tired of getting bruised
Not on the skin
But somewhere deep within
I have felt myself slowly withdrawing
Begging my inner voice to ignore the final calling
Saying take a deep breath and forget the girl
How can I do that if she was my world
Only concern was her for such a long time
Now she's gone and I can't seem to unwind
Myself from the tangled mess she made of my heart
I need to move on, but instead I'm falling apart

Red wine and Coors Light
Reminds me of a time
Where happiness was scarce and unknown
A time where in a group I still felt alone
Empty cans and bottles scattered our floor
Bitter words, sour smell added to the wicked allure
Yells and fists became a everyday routine
Tears hidden as I choked on my screams
Mama favored the wine the way it helped relive her pain
He favored beer the way it made reality fade
I suppose sometimes the haze may help to unwind
As long as you don't abuse it all the time
Some just can't stop when they feel the buzz, can't resist the pull
But continue to drink even when full
My own worse enemy were my little feet and puny hands
Not strong enough to save her from that wicked man
So small and unable to help
Can't imagine the pain I felt
Grew strong and escaped the darkness and pain
Left her there with the man who she refused to blame
If you ever loved me
You'd set the devil free
But she couldn't
My heart knew she wouldn't
Stayed with him for years
Through all the tears
Always thinking of his happiness, never mine
That's what I remember when I see red wine and coors light

Doing as I please
Taking with ease
Feeling no remorse
Spewing venom with force
Pain is my game
Selfish is my fame
Taking over Generosity
Witness my Atrocity
Power hungry as ever
Call me cruel, but I say clever
Never satisfied in any way
Always have the final say
Bow down to me
Never will they be free
Born to take over, to lead
Generosity is dead, all hail Greed

The land was dead, lost long ago in the first battle
Where men's blood flowed and the world's concious was rattled
Limbs of the old willow tree are a dark ashen gray
Setting the mood in a sorrowful way
Reminding all that this was a place of loss and anger
Here Death was no longer a stranger
Men's emotions overflowed and bubbled up from their cage
No longer able to avoid the differences, they gave into the rage
During the first battle of this once thriving kingdom
Both sides had been fighting for their versions of freedom
The willow stood tall in the midst of the battle not making a sound
Silently weeping as blood soaked the ground
The tree had survived for many years
All that time it'd never shed so many tears
Not when lightning struck down its neighbor one stormy night
Not when the ground rumbled and caused the villagers a fright
No the night when blood ran thick and men's screams filled the air
The battle for a freedom that they both could've shared
That was the night the Willow started to fade away
Once lively now just a dark shadow that continues to stay
Haunting a piece of land that is a bitter reminder of what use to be
Now just a thing of death and destruction in a place that use to be free
Screaming souls of men that were lost can be heard near
Another reminder that causes the Willow to shed a tear
So if you ever here the willow weep
Remember of the lost souls it continues to keep

We don't have to have this silent battle  

I would rather forget you

Step into my mind and you'll see all the things you put me through

Your memory has left me shackled

Pictures haunt me as you stare at me with love

Said you'd never leave me even when push comes to shove

Looking around this empty room reminds me of your lies

I can't wait to wake up one day to despise your memory

Hate you for everything you never did for
me

Today's not the day though, tommorrow won't be either

My heart still wants you

Even though you were anything but true

One day though I will arise from a nightmare

Dark dreams will be of your memory

I will feel nothing but hate and in that moment I'll be free

Whispering sweet nothings into my ear

Just loud enough that I can hear

Slowly seducing me into a trance

Preparing me for our lovers dance

Tugging off piece by piece

My need for you will never cease

Your mouth does like to tease

My body begs for you to please

Hips squirm in need

Lust wanting to be freed

Hands exploring with curious touch

Never wanted to be loved this much

Heat surrounding us in cloud of lust

Love lingering as we promise to trust

Caress me gently inside and out

Biting my lip to hold in a lustful shout

Picking me up to lay me down on the bed

Now help me cease this hunger that begs to be fed

Little boy scream
Let out the cries
May they help with your suffering
The relentless pain
Forever drags you down
You are unable to gain
Nothing seems to end
One moment you can breathe
Then the hand is back again
Blocking your airway
Tightening the grip
Making you stay
Refusing to let you slip
Runway from the past
Time is forever stuck
Making your hell last
There is no tick tock
The hand refuses to move
On your clock
Maybe if you could let the past go
It wouldn't continue to haunt you so
Taunting you with painful memories
Stop focusing on what was
Focus on what could be
Little boy Scream

I'm sick right now
Sickness of the mind
Wanting a way out
Not finding the time
Help me if you can hear these cries
Sometimes they're masked by the lies
Crying out I need you here
But when you come I whimper out in fear
Do I need someone who confuses my soul?
Someone I hate to want but can't seem to fight the pull
Pulling me where?
Down?
Will I fall or will my feet hit the ground?
Either way I'm yours
Through my fear I know this for sure
You will catch me if I fall
If I need help I know you'll be there for it all
These whimpers are for someone before
Someone who left a fragile heart sore
So forgive me when my mind is blinded by dark thoughts and unbearable  images of the past
This sickness that consumes me with fear will fade but I know my love for you will last

Firey
Dancing Alone
Charging without thought
Flames captivate those watching
Impulsive creature acts without thinking
Electric
Loves loudly
Mourns in silence
Desires one man only
Impulsive lover acts without
Regrets

Two bodies never felt so close as the night air seduced us into a ****** trance

Urging us to give into our deepest need
Begging us to do a sensual dance

Hot and thick the summer heat added fuel to our fire

Sweat dripping off of our bodies as we gave into the desire

Stripped me bare right there where anybody could see

Whispering naughty words that would make the old me flee

Something about the night, the thick summer heat

The way the moon was glistening, never had I wanted more to feel complete

Laying down on the cool ground

Our needy heart beats were the only sound

Nothing else mattered in that moment, everything else was drowned out

Touched me gently where I held all the heat and I tried desperatly not to shout

Bending down to ******* heat with your mouth, claiming the need to explore

I screamed as you continued to **** sweet honey and begged for more

The summer had never meant so much to me

When you stopped your exploring and finally made us complete

Thighs tickled as you slid in between

Breaths mingled as we finally fulfilled our need

That night we came together not caring if we were seen

Wrapped up in desire that surrounded us like the summer heat

The darkness
Surrounded me
Clouds rolled in
Warning me
Then in
the midst
Of the downpour
I knew
If I didn't
Embrace this storm
I would
Never be
Able to move
Forward

Bleeding out in such a silent way
My concious did begin to fade
Torn between what is right and why he's wrong
Not wanting to continue but I was with him for so long
Eyes begged me to give in
Stomach churned as I committed the sin
Heart shattered as I told the one
Trembling with hate at what I had done
How dare I let the past taint our love
Weak is what I was
Ashamed is how I felt retelling how I had committed the deed
Surprise and relief that this man was willing to forgive a weakling such as me
Open eyes and a new heart beating for only him
Proving to us that I am stronger than I had been
This man who had given me a second chance when I deserved none
Told me to learn from my mistakes and to rise above
I had seen the pain I had caused him
Tears he had shed because of my sin
I bled out in such a silent way
Never again will I stray

There was a time I held it in

Sinking to the bottom of the dark abyss

Where ones thoughts take over rationality

Madness becomes your mentality

Never did I speak my mind

Not once did I complain when I was left behind

Then he came along and took me in

At the time I didn't recognize him as the Devils kin

Eventually his true self came to be shown

By that time I was too invested in the man that I had known

Sitting there day after day in silent agony

Eventually sanity turns into brutality

Sadness turns to anger and judgement is clouded

Blinded from what you once believed your sanity becomes shrouded

Bruises did cover my skin

Torturing myself by holding it in

Why couldn't I say what was on my mind

It's not like I was alone or didn't have time

I'm sure your thinking it was because I was afraid

You'd be wrong. My silence was all about self hate

Sure I hated him. But mostly I hated me

And as time went on I grew to hate everybody

Be a good girl put everything in its place

I'd smile and put on my false happy face

Then there came a night

Quiet and peaceful the stars were shinning bright

He came looking for me

Interrupting my first moment of peace

It was like time stood still when he raised his voice

Realization hit me that I have a choice

Something in me snapped when he raised his fist

My vision became clouded by a red mist

Taking the punishment I stayed silent like I'd been doing all my life

But this time when night fell I slipped into bed holding a knife

I couldn't bring myself to stop the deadly plunge even when the blood started to flow

For Blood is like sugar when revenge runs the show

Dripping from my fingertips on to the bed it left a mark of finality that put my madness at ease

My smile was genuine as I dialed the number to phone the police

What is your emergency the operator asked me

I replied I have killed the devil and now I am free

I was brought in with chains and put in the pen

When asked why I did this I would answer I held on the pain in

Now as I sit quietly on my cot in the joint

I smile as I recall my breaking point

In the depths of my mind I feel him near

My body heats up with thoughts unclear

Feeling the anticipation of what I need to be done

The heat is unbearable as I try not to succumb

I wont try on my own to make the ache cease

Without him here I know I'll never find release

Trying to fight the heat I clench my thighs

Taking deep breaths to hold in my fevered  cries

I feel him close as I'm blinded by lust

Help me find release before I combust

With a blink of her eyes I felt naked waiting to see
What she had hidden in her gaze
Her secrets were my need
Since the first tear she had shed with a blush of shame
My obsession became to find the source
Find who caused all the pain
Beautiful ocean eyes shouldn't seem so gray
I ache to bring her back into the light
But something seems to be getting in the way
How am I to love her fully if she won't let me in?
Trying so hard to break the walls
Will our love ever really begin?
Desperate I will continue to wait
Needing to find a place in her heart
Praying that I'm not too late
Though the pain in her eyes still remains unspoken
Staying silent instead of being open
I will stay loving her even when she's broken

I dreamed. Finally
A dream that was better than this torn up reality
You came to me holding out your hand
I looked at in disgust already knowing your plan
In this dream I already knew you would use me then toss my body a side
Draw me in with false words then laugh as I choked on my pride
You tried to get the best of me
That wasn't happening, not in my dream
No here I was the Queen
I came out on top
Not once did I drop
Fall off my pedestal
No longer was I the fool
You bowed at my feet
And I just looked at you how you use to look at me
In disgust
Yet still I could not refuse my lust
A mistake I made and will never repeat
Yet in this dream I stood tall and never admitted defeat
It faded to soon
Light shining through
Waking me to my torn reality
Losing my fantasy
Reminding me that I am the one who is scarred
Torn from the marks you left on this heart

Body tucked in
Tightly pressed against skin
Chest to chest
Breath to breath
I'll breathe you in with no regrets
One chance at happiness is all I get
Touch my trembling hand with yours
Heart beating fast, wanting more
So silent is the night around us
As we continue to inhale this love
Exhale out slowly
Praying you don't leave me lonely
Want so badly to stay in this dream
Nothing is ever as it seems
If I stay with your skin pressed against mine
Maybe then It will slow down time
Lips swollen from a lovers kiss
Closed lids not wanting to miss
All the wonders of this dream
Where you and I are allowed to be
Body tucked in
Tightly pressed against a wish
Knowing if I wake
This dream will dissipate
Scatter into what it was before
A hope, a want
Nothing more

I've been weary of my heart

Turning a blind eye at chance

Letting the bottle rule my life

Drink

Take away the pain that burns

Stings more than the liquid that aims to ****

Do I care if this ends?

Drink

Only wish to fade away

Depart from memories that cause the ache

My sinning is not helping to numb

Drink

I can't forget her smile even in my drunken haze

Want the memory of her pain gone

Bottle why won't you help?

Drink

Erase the love, my need, my greatest want

Waste away

Fill my bloodstream with your toxins

Drink

I'll close my eyes one more time

Picturing her behind closed lids

Here comes the pain

Drink

Take a sip

One more

Drink till the end and make me forget

Drink

Who was she that tempted me?

My memory is blank

My heart is empty

*Drink

Hide away what you are

Never show the world your scars

For all they do is judge

All they know is the word love

They don't know the meaning behind the word

Don't understand that all you want is to be heard

Don't listen to find out why we're broken and confused

So why love when people are counting on you to lose

I'd rather trust what I know

A blade that is real and the blood that flows

You know what...Judge me please for I live in pain

Go on... Tell me that what I do is vain

So next time I answer the call of the blade

I'll cut straight and then I'll fade

(Must you take what they say to heart
Making any excuse to rip my world apart
Do you think you mean so little to me?
To think that I don't hurt each time I see you bleed
I need you to realize that everybody struggles with pain
Your not the only one struggling to stay sane
What is the point of our life blood?
If your going to waste it everytime you feel judged
What does it matter what other people think, it is your body, soul, your voice
At the end of the day, may it be your last or not, you have always had a choice)

Kissed by him

Tainted my untouched lips

Wanted by him

Trembled my hips

Touched by him

Dirtied my ****** skin

Needed by him

Tempted me to sin

Loved by him

Urged my kiss

Freed by him

*Blinded me with bliss

Hear my words; Listen to me,

We are nothing if not free

You think you know what hand I've been dealt

You cannot understand the shame I have felt

Treating people as if they were rats

Stepping on their pride like they are floor mats

Play with our emotions, push us around

Bringing us one step closer to the burial ground

Enjoy our shame, Laughing at our pain

All our hard work was done in vain

Release us from our bonds, the rope has left a burn

Tired of being chained to a cause that makes our stomachs churn

You lured us in with false security, speaking nothing but lies

We once loved you, now we despise

You have turned into a Tyrant

Us, the people, our slowly turning defiant

Tired of our chains, We come together to destroy, to win

Say goodbye to your throne, time to pay for your sin

Dance with me, Lift me high

Make my legs weak, Caress my inner thigh

Touch my Lips, Press against yours

Never have I wanted more

Eyes stare into my soul

Connection runs deep, Never grows old

In the past life I know we did this dance before

For a night; For decades; For forever more

Two bodies meet, Collide in a sensual dance

As heat filled the air, and Love decided to take a chance

Tendrils of smoke fill the air

Warning all of what is near

Refusing to be put at peace

The flames will not cease

Coughing up ash and dirt

Struggling to breathe as my lungs hurt

I hear crys of many all around

I search blindly, crawling on the ground

Heat did scorch my skin

Wondering how one could commit such a sin

Who would want to destroy a home

The wind stirs up the flames with its wicked moan

No sign of dying down anytime soon

The howl of wood collapsing is such sobering tune

The men in red pour water but the flames refuse to relent

Watching in a daze as my home collapses before my eyes

Refuse to listen as the rescuers tell me lies

"Everything will be fine." They say trying to calm me

Rubbing the soot out of my eyes so I can see

Made it out alive, but not unharmed

I will live, but baring scars

Drip
My blood
Drip
Runs freely
Drip
From the wound
Drip
In my chest
Drip
Split open by Love
Drip
Took what he wanted
Drip
Then left me broken
Drip
Promised to catch me
Drip
Then let me fall
Drop

Tossing and turning
I can't seem to find peace
The silence once again caused me to lose sleep
No noise to drown out my dark thoughts
How am I to get rest if my mind refuses to quiet
Forever thinking so it seems
All I want is to be taken by dreams
Slip into the sweet abyss of unconsciousness
Escape my reality that is slowly killing me
Forget for awhile that the world is a dangerous place
My mind is still awake
What is another night of hardly any sleep
Too many in a row to count
Soon exhaustion won't give my brain a choice
My body will fall under on its own accord
Too weak to keep up the battle with my mind
Then finally I will rest for awhile
But once I awake the process will repeat
Then several more days will go by until I  sleep

Promising to take me to wonderland.

Never run away in cowardice again.

Worry will fade when we're together.

All you'll need is the Hatter forever.

Binded tightly in the Red Queen arms.

Hatter returns and saves me from harm.

Unlike before when he was unsure.

The Hatter realized that this Alice is his world.

Yet I fell for someone long before.

Another who had promised to never leave my heart sore.

So do I trust someone who is Mad and never speaks in sane words.

Do I listen to my heart? It's demanding to be heard.

There she sits, all alone

All she needs is a home

There she cries on the ground

All she wants is to be found

There she runs, away from here

All she feels is fear

There she screams "Find me!"

All she craves is to be free

There he kneels looking for a sign

All he needs is more time

There he sobs into the pillow

All he wants is to not feel so hollow

There he yells "I see you!"

All he craves is for this sight to be true

There she sits, an angel all alone

All he sees is her, his home

There they stand together

All they need is each other, forever

I've been weary of my heart

Turning a blind eye at chance

Letting the bottle rule my life

Take away the pain that burns

Stings more than the liquid that aims to ****

Do I care if this ends?

Only wish to fade away

Depart from memories that cause the ache

My sinning is not helping to numb

I can't forget her smile even in my drunken haze

Want the memory of her pain gone

Bottle why won't you help?

Erase the love, my need, my greatest want

Drink. Waste away

Fill my bloodstream with your toxins

I'll close my eyes one more time

Picturing her behind closed lids

Here comes the pain

Take a sip

One more

Drink till the end

Make me forget

Drink

Who was she that tempted me?

My memory is blank, my heart is empty

Hair lays perfectly on shoulders so thin
Mirror reflects a beauty that is pure sin
Plump lips are painted a dark red
Air thick with words unsaid
Flushed as hands touch the skin
Moon doesn't dare shine as it begins
Body trembling begging for this hunger to be fed
Earth quaking for what lay ahead
Dancing in a brutal manner, a wicked end
Passionate for this hate. It's something that one cannot mend
Laying down on that bed of roses, flinching as they bled
If this was anybody else they'd have fled
One cannot simply leave an exotic flower
Deep ocean eyes that got more appealing with every passing hour
Resisting the pull is harder said than done
Sin had never looked more fun
Hair layed perfectly on shoulders so thin
Don't shy away, Dark Fate
Let me in

There is a man I see in my dreams

This man who's kiss fills me with need

I wake up so hot and covered in sweat

Aching for a man I've never met

His touch sets me on fire

Feels me with passion and desire

I know this man, though I have not seen with my eyes

I know his touch, his kiss, and I know he is mine

His body fits, molds with mine like a glove

During my dream he shows me the secrets of love

The things we do makes me blush, but I'm not embarrassed

He is strong yet his touch is a gentle caress

Who are you? I need to know now

I need to find my lover I just don't know how

So next time you come to me whisper your name

I will find you so we can ease our pain

Seeing him smile at me

Was a reminder to you who I was before

Before I met you and turned my life around

When I was running in circles

Screaming

In reality I never made a sound

Nobody noticed my broken pleas

Then you came along and saved me

Now as he looks at me with hunger in his eyes

You turn and look at me

I can see your disgust

Please don't judge me

My past is dark

Filled with poor choices and misguided hearts

You knew that going in

Saw my open wounds

I told you I had sins

Now that they're coming to light

Your reactions aren't matching up with the promises you made

Said you'd want me no matter my past

Prove it now

Make us last

So don't judge me

I wouldn't dream of judging you

Let our love move forward

Not in reverse

Love me for who I am now

Not who I was then

Help me make up for my sin

Peek a boo. Yes it's me

Oh you thought I would leave

Thought I'd back down?

Whatcha think I forgot to breathe

Losing isn't in my vocabulary

Plus all your lies was causing me to be weary

I grew tired of the *******, time to meet the new Carrie

Stephen King stepped aside, ***** I'm the new scary

Better run and hide back under your covers

The things I plan to do to you make the devil shudder

Here is the soil where he kneeled making my heart do flips

A ring in his hand and a promise on his lips

So young and pure were we

Full of passion, how we felt so free

I said Yes, he said forever

My love was a dreamer, niavie but clever

Bombs did strike, men left

Mine followed suit with the promise on his breath

Sometimes promises prove to be moot, unable to be kept

Not every wish can be met

He was lost, a victim of the cause

One of many, there wasn't even a pause

Fighting continued, my heart did weep

When it was over I thought of the promise that he could not keep

Nothing to be done but to live

My life went on but I had no love to give

Heart was lost with him overseas

As I stand where he had kneeled, I feel him on the breeze

My love, so far away

I can not let go, so with me you stay

Pull me to my knees with your unexpected blows
Stealing my breath before I scream so nobody knows
You make everything hurt and bleed
Bounding my soul refusing to let me be freed
I need a out but I know there is no point for me to live
I have tried, I have failed, and I have nothing left to give
You remind me of that everyday
Tearing at my lost soul refusing to stray
I try to get back up with a tired breath
Another blow reminds me that I have nothing left
I have failed hopelessly, bye my sweet eternity
You remind me that I belong to this agony