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The seemingly ungratefulness of this tricky life drives my compulsive mind tumbling into a wild fire of thoughts and sadness

Smashing upon my heart to let go and live what is this heavy chain holding me back, what is there left to lose?

I break free to be cuffed yet again to that **** heavy chain. It's like a glue that is stuck on my soul a leech refusing to budge, ******* it dry.

Life is unfair. Leaving us slaved to its rules.  But my heart won't hush. It's lies feeding my mind like I starve for a different ending as these feelings lead me away.

It can't be this complex. Being worked into my grave.  Whats left to enjoy but to be miserable until death.

Life fuels the fire for my heart to run astray as my mind attempts to water its ruling blaze.

I can't help but wonder if my mind can ***** out my heart's longing to be free. Knowing I can't tame these feelings I try everything to refrain from going insane.
Better to remain single
than
be hooked with a devil.
Better alone and single
than
perform duet with a devil.

Version II (10w)
 Mar 2014 Sammy Whitelaw
Oyashumi
I often forget how your hands used to rush down
my spine
and drew little masterpieces
on my back.
You owned my soul
even more than you owned my body.
More than I ever
owned you.
You were so gentle
and I was so naive
to believe that someone like you
could ever possibly fall
for me.
i wanna take back all the poems
i wanna take back the ''i love you''s
i wanna take back all the tears
i wanna take back all the troubles.

but then i don't.

you deserved the lines i wrote
you deserved the misused quotes
you deserved my happiness
and you deserved my love

i don't want us to be over.
but you're gone.
so i should swallow
and let you leave
and let you go.

and i shall live
with those last kisses
and your arms around me
and the way you squeezed my face
and made me swear
and i shall live
with the thought
that you cried for me
and i shall live
with the ghost of your touches
and the sense of your lips against my skin.

but i shall live.
and i shall miss you.
but i'll move on
and you'll be over.

i know that you don't love me
i know that i don't matter
but i loved you
and i love you still
and soon i will be better.
Lean in,
close...
closer,
feel your heart pitter patter
as their scent washes over you.
Let the warmth of their breath
gently caress your cheek.
Slowly kiss their neck,
the soft spot right above their collar bone.
Linger there,
tasting their smooth skin,
a pleasant mixture
of their soap and
the slightly salty taste of sweat.
Listen to them inhale slightly
at the electric tingle of your lips.
Feel them press their body closer to yours,
one hand tightly gripping your arm
the other winding their fingers
through hair on the back of your head.
Pull back,
gaze into their eyes,
blue and grey,
like a stormy day on the ocean,
or green like the summer leaves,
swaying in the breeze,
or brown like a small milk chocolate,
melting from the heat in your hand.
Inhale...
Exhale...
Hold this moment in your mind,
trap it in your memories forever.
Let it be the thought that you remember,
when you've forgotten everything,
when you've forgotten everyone,
even when you've forgotten your own name.
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