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I don't think you know what its like to actually miss someone
you used to say you missed me after a day without seeing me
I didn't miss you then, but i did want to be with you

Now its been 120 days and you don't miss me at all
i miss you more than ever and it breaks my heart

you were my drug and i was addicted
i know my addiction only lasted 1 month and 19 days
but i had the craziest high with you
in those 50 days
you gave me memories to last a life time

its been 2880 hours since my last high
i have never craved something so much in my life
like your love
you have me sitting here thinking about you
17 weeks later
you haven't even done anything to make me crazy about you

if i was ever actually addicted to drugs
i would never detox
i would constantly crave it and would eventually give in
it would drive me crazy like you drive me crazy
i cant get the taste of your lips off my mind
i need you

we used to joke around
and i said you were my sustenance
you said i was too
but i wasn't kidding
you became an important part of my life

i can live without you
but i don't want to
you make me so happy
and you challenged me to think about who i really was

i do admit that i didn't like who i was with you
but i think thats why i miss you so much
because you gave me a rush and made me live
i did things with you that i never in a thousand years wouldve imagined doing
we went on wild adventures
i was always living on the edge with you
worrying about getting caught
thats why it was so exciting

i became addicted to that feeling
now i'm back to my old boring life
i miss the old days
but i need to move on

i think i will stop craving your affection soon
if not tomorrow
then the next day
ill keep telling myself this until its true

don't worry about how i am
because i know you don't care

and when you find yourself missing me in the middle of the night
call me
and i won't answer

i will no longer give in to my addictions
take me to the edge of oblivion,
promise me your empty lies.

sweet ecstacy,
you take me to the edge of madness.

I have been here time and time again,
I always trust you with my heart.

In this brief moment of sanity,
I choose the mundane reality of my life
with promises of joys and pains.

There is a quiet transcendent ecstasy
in a life that leads to wholeness.
"It's a shame,"
A mother  says to her daughter,
"that such pretty girls think such dark things."

But there it is --
The very reason why us girls think thoughts so dark:
There is beauty in death.

As soon as we're gone,
People suddenly want us.
Celebrities will pray for the poor young lost soul,
We'll suddenly be beautiful in everyone's eyes --
And everyone will want to be our friend.

Suddenly those bullies want forgiveness,
And your out-of-your-league crush likes you back.

You'll never age -- a constant beauty.
You'll be pure -- negativity buried with your body.
You'll be smart -- the one "with the bright future."

Suddenly we're wanted,
Missed
Mourned
Loved
We've gotten all we've been searching for!
But what good does it do us,
if we'll never feel the suns warmth again?
Never again to catch loose snowflakes,
Or smell the spring dafodils?

If you can bring yourself to never laugh again,
To never kiss again,
To never dream again,
Then it's on you.
But don't tell me you'll go without regret:

Maybe you'd still be alive if someone told you sooner?
Maybe we should stop praising those who take their lives?

~C E Smith
If you want a lover
I'll do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
I'll wear a mask for you
If you want a partner
Take my hand
Or if you want to strike me down in anger
Here I stand
I'm your man
If you want a boxer
I will step into the ring for you
And if you want a doctor
I'll examine every inch of you
If you want a driver
Climb inside
Or if you want to take me for a ride
You know you can
I'm your man
Ah, the moon's too bright
The chain's too tight
The beast won't go to sleep
I've been running through these promises to you
That I made and I could not keep
Ah but a man never got a woman back
Not by begging on his knees
Or I'd crawl to you baby
And I'd fall at your feet
And I'd howl at your beauty
Like a dog in heat
And I'd claw at your heart
And I'd tear at your sheet
I'd say please, please
I'm your man
And if you've got to sleep
A moment on the road
I will steer for you
And if you want to work the street alone
I'll disappear for you
If you want a father for your child
Or only want to walk with me a while
Across the sand
I'm your man
If you want a lover
I'll do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
I'll wear a mask for you
 Mar 2014 Sammy Whitelaw
Poetic T
I am

love

I am

hate

I am

sorrow

I am

happiness

I am  

greed

I am

charity

I am  

  fed to much

I am

starving

I am

humanity

I am

my self.
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