Two  and one half flights up a home built
in 1899, and eight steps on a pull down
staircase,  enter an attic, upon the pine
floor are carved the words,
I hate mommy.

After  many years in the basement,
behind a green tattersall shirt,
next to a plum colored robe,
is my gray tweed sports jacket;
sadly hanging like an old man’s *******,

inside the left breast pocket rests
the funeral  program of a man
I have learned not to hate,
or to become a semblance,
and god ******, I have not;
I still have time remaining.

Don't let your dreams get to far - remember you can't get the gold if you don't know just where you are. Id trade a leg and arm just to get the golden touch, of her heart. I lost a peice of me when she left - she made me bleed and now i feel i need a surgery or a drug or some kind of thing to make me feel like i am next to she - the one that got away. Never will i forget your face. You put me in my place and now i'm stuck forgot how to give a **** about myself. They come first. The ones around. It hurts me way deep down when i see a face i love put on a frown. It's more than just a brown it's a burn. I almost like the way it hurts. Conditioned by repition put me in this disposition so i write this written. I put the decision of who i am in another person's hands. I've lost my promised land. Lost my human rights. I've given up the fight for my life. Can't sleep at night. Round and through - pull it tight - get it done right - the tricky bit is when you get up into it and you start question if the noose is worth the conditions - can't stop now - won't start slippin - stick to the plan - you cant comply to lifes demands - if you dangle there's no repremands - step on down and be a failure yet again - no i can't - i won't do it - head whent through it - **** i blew it - the rope i knew it - broke in two, it - snapped at the base - landed on my face - hit the ground - still choking out - grab my kneck n' pull it out - **** what now - lets over dose like an auschewitz kid just got some chow - take enough to **** a cow - woke up in the icu - full of tubes - right here next to you - the dissapointment shows right through - don't deny it don't even try to hide it you know i know when you're lyin.

Now hush baby brother, dont you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Gotta toughen up my little buba, i told ya
I'll always be with ya in your mind
You'll hear alot of things but hold onto my good side
Dont forget you were my pride
It may feel a little painful, when the rain falls
But i promise the sun will always shine

I can't believe i'm actually thinkin bout leaving you. There's not alot i'm afraid of but that's some **** i'm unprepaired to do. I never thought i could see and end where i'm not right next to you but i've cheated yet again and so i think i've ended up ending up without and end with you. I'm a fool. I never should have fell for you. I hurt the ones i love so never will i lay sight to you. I'm sorry for all the things i've done i never ment them hurt to do . You're still my little baby girl even if you hate me please don't hurt yourself. All that i want is to see that smile on your face but there's things that i can't give you so it's best if i put some space. Ain't no way i'll say this to your face. It'd **** me if i was in your place so imagine how it feels to be the one that was suppossed to be your protector b! You were my ****** family! You built the walls of this house all around of me! I never ment to hurt you but thats all that i can seem to do so later i'll take a shot or two and let the pistol wring a few until my skull's split into two and maybe then i'll forgive myself for who i became. My ******* fall to fame.

Being real is hard
as opposed to being fake
as opposed to being bubbling plastic, mask this
look past my plausibility
soft body
teeth mouth throat
eyelashes,
heart
fake
styrofoam
empty
deserted
these eyes are what I have to offer now, these ears
If you had reached me earlier, I would've had more
to put at your disposal:
my devotion
my hands
my feet
my sanity
my presence in this day, for this conversation
my heart, soul, and chapstick
but I've said too much.
If you had reached me earlier
I swear I would've given you the rib-cage straight out of my chest  
before your lips were halfway open and asking--
I know I would've been in your veins before fall
But I can't worry about your veins now,
I've opened too many of mine
and what I'm trying to say is honey,
My heart isn't full enough for me to pour it out to you every night.
You know I wish I could

Life is not a garden of fragrant flowers,
Life is a chef's kitchen;
Some things get burnt,
Some are frozen,
In the end, it all tastes well.

Life is not a cycle ride down a smooth road,
Life is a bumpy journey uphill;
There are sharp, blind turns
Plus an upward *****,
But the view is magnificent.

Life is not a perfect picture captured by a DSLR,
Life is a photograph shot with a 1.3 megapixel camera;
With no editing allowed,
The sky looks blurred through it,
When actually it is clear.  

Life is not a cup of Starbucks coffee,
Life is a glass of Coke;
It is cold,
Addictive at times,
Mostly, fizzy and sparkling.

Life is not-
Seeing the glass half full.
Just appreciating as is;
*Simply, beautiful.