I've lost my self again,
I've lost it between the hope and the fatih,
Between the past and the future,
Between my soul and my body.

I've lost my self againg, i wanna found it
But how can i found something that i don't know?
Where can i looking for?
Sometimes i try to search it through my memories,
But that only make it worst, make more painfull.

I've lost my self again,
And i've been lost since i don't recognize who i'm,
And that happens over and over again.

Nothing has changed.
I still feel drained.
I am still the heartbroken girl I was months ago.
You really would think I would know.
But I fall time and time again.
Thinking that maybe this time they'll actually want to be my friend.
But it's always a lie.
Or the love always will die.

Because who could love a girl like me. and everyone loves a boy like him. and there always be a him that I will fall in love with things will never be alright the broken hearted girl.

I gave you my body like a ***
I gave you answers you desired to know
you only gave insecurities,
making me feel guilty and low.

I begged for our love
admitting my issues with co-dependence
but you laughed at me,
mocked my innocence.

For that I hate you.
I regret you, you *****.
yet you're still that addiction
I have yet to kick.

But know this....

You,
me,
and this feeling,
will be the last scratch
I will allow to itch.

I've become dangerous.
Poison pumps through my veins.
My troubled heart is to blame.

My arch nemesis is cupid
who seems Hell bent
him and every ex of a *****.

I Bet he gets paid
every time my soul gets broken
or some guy gets laid.

some devils have love made
while sweet Angels like myself
end up getting played.

Where did I go?
How did I become this monster to myself?
How did I end up in this hole they call hopeless?
Why didn't I see myself fall?
What happened to me?
How did I grow to hate myself so much to where I look in the mirror and I can't recognize myself anymore?
Where did I go?
How can I get myself back?
I am hiding under pain I can't let go of.
I am running around in circles around things that seem to trap me.
I don't know what to do.
Everything I do seems wrong.
Anyone I turn to seems to drop me without giving me a reason why.
Sometimes I wish I would die in my sleep just so the world would be better off.
I won't be here to make anyone miserable.
Everyone can go about their lives as if I never existed.
I don't know what happened to me.
Maybe I really am heartless.
Maybe I don't have a soul.
Maybe I am slowly dying and I just don't know it.
Even if I was dying I wouldn't tell anyone I was.
I would suffer in silence like I always do.
Where the **** did I go?
That's a question I don't think God has the answer to.

do not be seduced by those with a reputation of a heartbreaker

do not allow them to strum on your heartstrings
because you are not someone's instrument.
do not misinterpret their charms as care or love for you

do not allow them to throw beautiful words down your throat at night
because you will wake up in the morning choking on them
and they will be nowhere to be found.