"It's not for anxiety," they said, tightlipped but concerned,
they don't understand that I can't pay attention if my heart beats louder than my words,
The sound of my thoughts coming at me like trains and bike and buses,
honking at me to say something articulate,
is much louder than their confused voices explaining that the blue pill is to stop the jitters,
but I've got other issues.
They don't see that there is a tea kettle bubbling in my stomach that shoots hunger through its long nose,
in shrill whistles that pierce my insides.
It's all I can hear when the TV is on and I haven't eaten.
But that little chemical spreads inside me like a blanket of silence, quells the screaming children
and the little girl constantly tugging at my heartstrings,
making indiscernible chords that only
echo as the sound of jealousy, fear and self loathing.
She tucks her self in and keeps her hands to herself for a few hours.
As the blue devils shovel more coal in the bed warmers,
the sound of metal clanging is muted by their powers.
Chipping away at the noise makers, the inhabitants of my tortured soul-
I love the empty I feel on adderall.

Please shut her up, shut her up, shut her up,
there's a girl screaming in the foyer
and I can't sleep.
She wants to go outside and play in the leaves,
she wants the foods she likes and to walk in the streets.
It's seven in the morning and we haven't gotten rest,
I can't scold her,
I can't hold her.
She needs your touch.
She needs your gaze,
She stops screaming
when we're on the same page.
So shut her up, baby boy,
It's only you that can.
I've lost control long ago,
when you ******* my hands.
Drained the oceans in my eyes,
stole the clouds in my head,
and placed flowers at my heart.
Please shut her up.

Too afraid to love, too afraid of hurt
*Too afraid of my world breaking apart
Too afraid of loneliness yet Love's cruel
Because  it's a war that ends in a duel
Too afraid to trust ,broken till the crust
Cannot see a variance twixt Love and lust
Too confused to tell which road to follow
Too burdened by  memories to not feel this hollow
Too scared but I doubt there's a safe way out
None can hear me albeit I let my silence shout
Guess whoever fills the void and heals the scars
Will share a night of counting the stars
Whoever will drag me out the dark
I should trust will have a honest spark
Whoever that will be should be able to fill this emptiness
Gaping wide and abysmal with special uniqueness

You either change to love or love to change
There is Love everywhere out here for the taking
And though your sad story's somewhat creepy and strange
You can find someone to pick up the pieces
I envy your breath while contemplating her kisses
Hear out of the diverse universe only she deserved to be your Mrs
She brought you the phantoms that Hurt
Yet she's still the one person you truly heart
You heart her so much that thoughts of her tear your eyes and drive you crazy
You see every moment by the mind even if your vision's a little hazy
She threw you in a pitch abyss of a daze
You have failed to climb out of cause you cannot find your way through the maze
So you just keep falling unceasingly into that abyss of despair
In hurtful vain because no matter how deep you go,an end ain't there
You were an idiot to trust a human with your soul
And guess what, bruised souls heal slow and sometimes never heal at all
Be glad though,you loved and unprecedentedly lost
And you still love that demon even when you know Hell's the cost