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pwg
Renae Jan 2018
pwg
Pretty
Such a shallow existence
Unfortunately it's the way
To capture your attention
Pretty shallow
Is what I see
Pretty empty
Pretty upset
Well now that's me
Pretty much useless
I see pretty in many things
But pretty isn't much
Of anything
Renae Mar 2014
Tiptoeing
Careful now
Sleepy souls in
stardust dreams
Awaiting to wake
a top the staircase
Pillows scatter about
toes peek out
As I enjoy
my steamy cup a Joe
On this crisp
quiet
morning
Renae Mar 2016
Sometimes I feel
Like the rain when it slides
Down my window slowly
One by one
Sliding down
My face no longer smiles
Easy like it used to
Even when my heart would cry
I could muster something
No longer now
Like the rain I am poured out
Like the rain I will dry up
Renae Sep 2023
I love the pitter patter it makes
on the spanish tiles
of my roof top.
It splish splashes
on my window panes.
The Earth is thirsty
after the summer
the sun was unforgiving
for so long
I watch the fields soak up
What they've been needing
It felt like ages
we went without.
Now the rain falls
and the Earth is quenched
It sprouts again
The fresh smell feels the air
And I sip my coffee
under my cozy covered porch
as I listen in peace and I smile.
Renae Jul 2015
'           '           '       '       I  '        '          '         '    '
     '          '             love the rain.     '           '   '
'       '       It hides tears that trickle'     '
  '     down round cheeks that should be  '
'  smiling. Rain spilling out of an endless downpour.I look up to the vastness in awe
₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩₩
                                     ^          
                ­                      ^
                                   eyes
                                 closed
                                   shut
                                  hands
                                   open
                                   wide
                                  Wash
                                  away
                                 what I
                                cannot
                                conceal
                                    so I
                                   may
                                   pour
                                 myself
                                    out
                                  like a
                                   rain          
                                       s
                             r          h
                               e      o
            ­                       w
Renae Jun 2016
Experience craves innocence
While innocence craves experience
And there is no in between
Renae Dec 2013
Without flaw
Selflessly
Worthy of life yet
Willingly
With untainted love
A sacrifice
Not with judgment
With perfect understanding
Of Sanctification
And human feelings
Dealing with wisdom,
Sealing with patience
With undeserved kindness
Righteousness
The right balance
The only solution
Our Ransom
I believe this needs no explanation
Renae Dec 2018
Everything is rated
How you feel & what you say
Are you as cool as they think you should be?
Who are they?
What gives them the right to say how cool anything is anyway?
What is the definition of happy?
A hundred, a thousand like?, a million compliments?
5 stars, hundreds of hearts
Comfortable distance in the midst of it
Social connection or social death
I suppose they'll decide
It all depends on how you're rated
Just remember no one can see inside
Renae Jan 2014
I could stretch out my fingers
I could reach so far as to grasp
the hand that's reaching back
I'd hold on just tight enough
To give the support needed
to help you stand up straight
and keep going
the rest is in your hands.
To say a prayer
to answer the door
to ask a question,
to make up your mind
To take a stand.
Renae Jul 2021
What is real?
I can't see it but I can feel
Is it lust? Is it fire?
Is it only appealing to my desire?
Is wrong is it right?
Should I put up a fight?
I once read it was either
A test of my faith,
will I stand firm
Or teeter
Will it destroy my heart
Rip it out and tear it apart?
Like the myans of old
Sacrificing all I own
Theives, they steal
Take & only reveal
lust for power
not a tower
Of refuge
They are hills
Crumbling and stumbling
With nothing but feels
no foundation
No peace of mind
empty philosophy
is all you find
Realistically
The answer is deeper
It is not hidden or confusing
It is something to live for
Stronger and taller
Than the highest height
emptying thrones
bringing the truth to light
More powerful
than your mind
a treasure of gold
is what you'll find
Red
Renae Mar 2018
Red
Truth is
I search for you
Highs & lows of lyricists

Lost in emotion

Every thought
Like red wine on white carpet

Stained forever

Try as you may to forget
even the faintest spot remains
As a reminder
of that one night
Renae Feb 2017
Be my mind today
Protect me from myself
The threats that atempt
to take away
My sanity
Be my heart
Help me not to sway
This way and that
Protect me from heartbreak
Be my helmet
Let me only look to you
Feed my mind courage
Let my strength renew
Be my shield
Let your word be my guide
Let me listen to songs
Your people sing
Bring out the best inside
Be my sword
The only one I yield
Make me remember
Scripture
Don't  let me listen to how I feel
I know my heart
Treaturous thing
So I know I need your help
In everything
I will ignore this heart
I don't want to assume anything
But you will help me through
Because you are my refuge
No matter what life brings
Renae Nov 2015
Do you remember when we walked together along the sandy beach, sounds of the ocean in the background. I was collecting full seashells from the sand... I remember us. You were carefree; you loved to jog first thing in the morning. I was reluctant but I loved your spirit and oh how I longed for your energy. I envied your love of life, that was something I had never posessed...until I found you. I yearned to live with you in your love of life. I wanted so badly to feel the immense love you felt from every face you greeted and every laugh you caused. You were my life and they took you away from me. I may not deserve life or love or laughter but I am grateful I had your's even if it was for a brief moment and gone too quickly. I will remember.
Renae Dec 2020
Remember me?
It wasn't that long ago, was it?
I was so carefree
I would shine like sunlight
staight through the trees
Dance like a rainbow across
the sky
No fear of, "who am I"
I could be anything
No fences hold me
I will travel the world
I will sing from balconies
I will tackle any mountain
I will swim the 7 seas
I am not gone
I remember me.
Renae Jun 2017
Relax sit back
Take a moment
Just breathe
It's not all about you
wait and see
If you spend your selfish life
Always me me me
Soon you'll find
Nobody's by your side
Since the one you want the most
Is gone for life
Renae Sep 2023
Revenge, sounds like fun, sounds like healing doesn't it?
Revenge, sounds like justice, but is it?
Hate is a wall we build within.
That wall reaches the heavens, and revenge can turn everything dark.
The knife that we pulled from our back with revenge, has now stabbed us straight through the heart.
Renae Apr 2014
To take thee.....

     lying in pieces me

.          Two makes three.......

.                  yet,  tisn't we

.                           after all
.                
.                            who break free
Renae Nov 2014
You will never lose my love
O Jehovah
Your's is an enduring love
Humility is your cup
For you have allowed
The most rebellious
To stand in your rightful place
Teaching us consequences
realities
You love truth & justice
You love what is good
You hate what is bad
You have shown your strength
in the face of adversity
Independent of you
Mankind will always fail
Setting up walls for greed to enter
Men destroy themselves
In war, injustice,
Tearing apart the family bond

Boundaries
are what you will tear away
From the earth
A human family is your desire
Your stand is strong as stone
Your decisions are unmoveable
Trustworthy are your ways
The right belongs to you
You are merciful beyond the meaning
In the end all will bow low
All will understand
You have made life
You have sacrificed
More than any being could imagine
You are worthy to rule
You are the rightful owner
I love you Jehovah God
RIP
Renae Apr 2019
RIP
Go ahead
tear me open just to sew me shut again.
All I ask, is that each time please
take some more stuffing with you.
Renae Jun 2014
ripples caused by small and subtle
changes create noticeable waves
Renae Aug 2021
Sadness and confusion
Go hand in hand
Complimenting eachother
Sticking together
Building eachother up
Tears like a river
Drowning out
the ability
To rise above
Renae Mar 2014
Crawl
That's what you wanted
When you decided from the start
Torture
was the method
When you sabotaged my heart
Renae Nov 2013
Cravings for what we aren't supposed to have
Love is forbidden and nobody cares
Starvation rules
The poor have no chance
  Greed controls
with idle hands
making up rules with no second glance
And the people vote
Raise your hands
the verdict stands
  a hundred years without hope
Question is
will there be any way to cope?
With wars running rampant and poverty
liars and thieves become the kings
The people bow to cloth, people & things
children remain suffering
This is a world of the insane
Forgiveness is difficult when no one is sorry
Confidence and hope are replaced with worry
Faith flies out the window & prayers are hard to say
when injustice rules,... no one feels safe
Renae Dec 2013
Lights! Evergreen! Action! Have you ever heard of the feast of fools? Plunging into pleasures takes the stage!Welcome to the Saturnalia! The setting takes place in ancient Rome, Emperors rule and slaves usually bow but not on this solstice festival. Backwards is the trend and nothing is forbidden it is a drunken wild revel! No rules no laws! Children become the authority taking part in drunken brawls! Yule logs burn and mistletoe hangs from the tops of each doorway. Streams of evergreen decorate the home as a lit up tree stands alone all are home as business is closed for the five day party. Slaves gamble and cheat and rule their masters! Unrule is the slogan and *** the master in public displays of unholy affection!  No recognition of marriage for sin is the law, the anticipation of the Saturnalia! A two faced pagan mythical god is to whom they give their allegiance.
Sadly today, not much has changed, only the name of the public acceptance. It now lasts far longer than five days so as to add to the excitement of the masses. Traditions remain alot the same; more suicides occur on the winter solstice. More drunken bouts, more placed in prison for truly unruly behavior. Yet Christian is the title as it masks the scene, with a portrait of a nativity, desperately trying to mask the desires of the popularity at such a sinful occasion. It's all an attempt to make what is obscene okay in the eyes of their Maker.
http://voices.yahoo.com/saturnalia-reason-we-celebrate-christmas-december-11973.html
Renae Mar 2014
Opening my eyes to
I'm not the one for you
I remember your words
all too well
I tried to forget the day you threw me
Or broke everything
We weren't what I dreamed
She was your tower
I could never measure up
A thousand times I'd been the brunt
before you walked in
You didn't seem to mind
so we saved the worst for last
Loosing all respect for each other
we stopped remembering we were only imperfect
or that we needed this thing they call love
I finally accepted knowing with time gone by
if we couldn't forgive and forget
since we are only human
life would never be kind....&
together we'd never survive.
Renae Apr 2014
You say you know me
oh so well
you say you know
what I want, how I think?
You say you know
about my dreams?
About my hopes my fears
about my fantasies?
Says you you say says you
Walk in my footsteps
then tell me true
It's not what says you
Renae Apr 2017
Could you be
For just a moment
Pardon me
I wasn't being facetious
I am serious
Yes
Even though we had a fling
Whatever you call
That thing
Whatever it was that
Threw me for a loop
Commitment was clearly
Not what you wanted to do
How simply wrong
I am utterly confused
One day you want me
The next I feel used
So yes I am serious
I did only want you
But not anymore
Not since you twisted my brain
Didn't even care
Caused my heart so much pain
So yes I am serious
Especially when I say
This can't even be friendship
Starting today
Agape brother
Renae Nov 2013
Your mind is sharp like that tack on my stairs I forgot about yesterday when it pricked my heel and left a trail of blood drops on the carpet.
I picked it up and placed it on the counter but it dropped again back to the stairway where it will lie in wait for another victim
How words can cause a storm to brew and minds to wander to places untrue and vividly destructive
Blatant in ignorance tripping through mataphores and unreal resonating
I should have looked away but I kept on listening to your blind lust and misunderstanding
***** ***** ***** my conscience, my knowledge of what you will never understand, until darkness consumes you and I weep. For your mind has shattered.
She
Renae May 2014
She
A second or maybe a minute
She took you from me
A half hour
An hour or two
Was all it took for her to take you
Crazy how someone else's pain can stir up a good feeling in others
She
Renae Nov 2014
She
She's off!
On an adventure of her own
Experiences that will light up her darkness
Lifting her hopes and dreams
Love she's never known
Opens doors
She never knew they existed
Growth!
In measures unimaginable
She's running forward
No looking back
She's smiling
She's alive
She's loved
Renae Feb 2016
she knows he dreams about her
like metal to a magnet
thoughts travel backwards
to unending fantasies

time was new
sadness had ended
love flourished like
a thousand gardens in spring
that was then

she knows now
her thoughts too
travel back to love
when it was brand new
<3
Renae Jan 2014
"Well that's yer opinion" she shrugged and turned on er heels, she was downright determined to be right. That's all she really cared 'bout, was her. I don't recollect  a moment she wavered any other way. I suppose that's the country girl in er, never back down, never let em' see you cry. Er daddy taught er that and ta get back up on that pony even if you done skinned yer knees. So she stood tall all er life, she showed er smilin' side, she's a proud one that girl,  through and through. Weren't no tears in er less she was breathin' in poison or cuttin up an onion or sonethin' like that, well y'all know what I mean. Mad as a wild dog inside but you'd never know it. She'd carry the weight of ten men. I just wanted to see a bit of er bein', what's the word,  uh vul-ner-ble or sonethin like that. So I tried, I tried to be a consoler. I tried ta listen when she wouldn't talk. I could tell there was alot ta hear. **** it she just wouldn't see me. She just say "that's yer opinion". She was stuck. Stuck bein' strong, but what more could she be? It's all she knew.
Renae Jun 2014
"Honey honey honey honey"
You say that like it means nothing
Just the same as you said "sugar"
Spead it all over til it's dulce ******
When you call everyone sugar and honey it no longer sounds special
Renae Apr 2020
Is golden
So they say
Stay quiet
Or give yourself away
They say
Obey
Don't ask
Or give yourself away
Silence is a killer
It lets the bad guys
get away
Wolves will come to the field
If the sheep begin to play
Silence is a killer
for the chilren
locked away
For the wives who want
relief
But are scared of what to say
Silence is like eggshells
Lying on the floor
You do not know where to step
when careful
won't calm the mental roar
Silence is the worst
No fear
Or overwhelm
Or anxiety or pandemics
Or is it just a scared society....
that puts you
in the ground
Renae Apr 2014
Silence can be so loud
It deafens
shattering the heart to nothing.
Renae Apr 2014
Silence
.      my best friend
                   never speaks to me at all
Renae Jul 2021
How much
does a single tear hold?
How many memories?
Traumas?
Secret tragedies?
In one tear
I could drown in misery
But I let it fall
hope it lands
far away from me
Write it out
put it behind
leave it there
buried in history
Renae Mar 2017
I cannot love based on imagination
I cannot imagine love into my life
To truly tell I'm loved,
that it's not infatuation,
Takes a real man who wants a real wife
Renae Dec 2013
Simple as I may be
in my effervescent simplicity  
I could not thrive any other way
It's unattractive to you
But it's my everyday
Contentment is what I feel
my happiness is real
For with my simplicity
I change and bend
through the wind and the rain
I keep my head
I can weather the storms  
through it all I keep my faith
I can survive like no other
& this is all for the simple fact
I endure when I suffer
no matter what the attack
Renae Jan 2014
I fall weightless into space and time
The clock ticks unaware I am timeless
unexplainable dreams open doors to worlds,
places I've never been, then again they seem familiar
someone from the past walks through
I must have been reminiscing
Renae Apr 2019
Listen
Can you hear the peace?
It's calling me
Renae May 2014
Lazy eyes in boredom glaze
clicking endlessly on the panel
Nothing new to steady the page
Always searching
Changing the channel
Scrolling Surfing
Is there no end?
A run or perhaps a walk?
Tea with a friend?
Hike a trail with a beautiful view
A fresh breeze for your senses
It's sure to make you feel brand new
Tear down those fences
Don't end the list there
There's more to do
A picnic in the park
There's something new
Float down the river
Swim in a lake
Just get off the couch
For heavens sake!
Renae Dec 2016
Try as you may

One simply cannot wish

into existence

Something as wonderful

Something as simply divine

Filling every empty space

With ultimate excitement

Something as beautiful as

Something so pure

So true

Something that makes sense

Of everything

That something called

Love
Renae Jun 2014
Sometimes it gets to me
all I do is think sometimes
and sometimes I want to die
sometimes I just cry
oh sometimes

Sometimes I want to quit
mhmmm mmm
sometimes I can't even begin
when it feels like I'll never win
sometimes

Sometimes the sun shines
even on the inside
sometimes I get a second wind
sometimes I can see the end
oh oh oh sometimes
Renae Nov 2014
Resistence
It's tiring
Like pushing so hard
Against a brick wall
Trying to make it budge
After awhile
I shrug
Then say
I'm so tired
Renae Aug 2021
I don't understand
but I'm not worried

It's out of my hands,
out of my hands

Been in motion for so long
it's not going to stop

I guess you shouldn't throw away what's written

Whether you want it or not

You can't change it no matter how much you wish

You can't stop what's been put in place

It's God's plan
Nobody can change it
for the Earth or for space

It's bigger than you
That's why life's a rat race

I'm in it too
Enduring
no matter what it takes

One mistake
won't take your life...
even if you make it twice.

Get back up and make it right!

We already know what the consequence is like

I'm not in competition with anybody,
I want you to win.

The only plea I have,
Is want the same
for me

This war isn't mine
I have no choice,
but I have faith
So I speak with
my voice
Renae Jun 2021
I don't understand
but I'm not worried
It's out of my hands
out of my hands

Been in motion for so long
it's not going to stop
I guess you shouldn't throw away what's written
Whether you want it or not

You can't change it
no matter how much you wish
You can't stop
what's been put in place
It's God's plan
you can't change it
for the Earth & for space

It's bigger than you
That's why it's a race
I'm in it too
Enduring
no matter what it takes

One mistake
won't take your life
even if you make it twice
Get back up and make it right
You already know
the consequence, like
Why ruin your life?

I'm not in competition
with nobody
I want you to win too
All I ask is
You want the same for me,
Don't you?

This war isn't mine
I have no choice
but I have faith
So I stand
with my heart
and my voice
Renae May 2014
People are strange
with their loose tongued wit
souring onto pages
ready to soil the unsuspecting mind
now filled with unnecessary thoughts
Renae Mar 23
I stretch my arms to the sky
and breathe in the soft rain
smells of wet concrete
this morning.
It's chilly but crisp out,
the suns rays warm my skin
I gaze hand over eyes at
blue bonnet blankets sewn in patches of green
freshly mowed grass.
Bluebirds sing their  happy songs
in the distance.
It must be spring.
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