I have little to say in new environments.
I tend to act shy and forget how to form words.
So when I had to go to marching practice and was
surrounded by people I didn't know
I suffered.

Was it not obvious that I was flustered when I fell
five times in thirty minutes?
Maybe it wasn't obvious how I kept repeating the
same thing over and over again,
hoping people would stop staring.

But instead of caring you walked straight up to me
and made me look like a fool in front of
everyone.
"**** in, you're stomach is showing!" You exclaimed
before poking me with a drumstick and catching me off guard.
It hurt and my torso bent and all the upper classmen
laughed at me.

So thank you for embarrassing me, it will not be forgotten.
It won't be forgotten like the time you insulted me
in the seventh grade and I 'accepted' your apology.

But what do I know?
I'm just a kid and you're a
band director

I befriended you and thought that maybe
it would be a cute little
friendship.

I didn't know that I would like you,
I can't foresee things like that.
But you apparently think I can.

I told you my feelings
and you told me that
we couldn't be friends
since it made you
uncomfortable.

I guess me being me made you
uncomfortable.
I did the harmless flirting that I do to
all of my friends.
I told you I liked you because
I couldn't keep my emotions in.
And then I let you walk all over me
because **** it had to have been my fault
right?

I was wrong to think it was right of you
to hurt me like you did.
I'm not bad guy here seeing that I can't help
who I care for.
I tried to make it up to you by apologizing.
But honestly I didn't want to,
I wanted to stand up for myself
but fear consumed me.

So I'm once again I'm that
defenseless little girl
that everyone knows
and loves.

I pity you.
It's not the pity you would think.
I pity you because you do not know
what you are doing to yourself.

You are clawing on the inside,
your brain is melting into mush.
You are trying to hard to not
burst out crying.

I pity you because you think I still love you.
I do not love anymore,
that was only for seven months.
You do not know when to
let go.

I pity you because you still love me.
Anyone who loves me should be
pitied.
Seeing that I am someone who holds on.
I hold on to things I shouldn't like;
books, movies, people, blankets, and you.

I will befriend you because I must,
not because I want to.
You told me that what I believe in is
wrong
and what you believe in is
right

So tell me, it's right to strip away the right
to love whomever you want.
It's right to tell a girl she cannot terminate
a pregnancy even though she was
*****.

It's wrong for women to want equality?
It's wrong for me to be a feminist?

This is where you are wrong, because I have grown up
my entire life with views on how things
should be.
We should be able to love whomever we want.
To terminate pregnancies if they need to.
For women to get some equality
because it's opinion.

You can believe whatever you want,
but do not tell me I am wrong because
to me,
my opinion is right and yours is wrong.