It’s not what I thought
Youth wasn’t all carrot.
Once past its peak
I was shown its stick.

Like magic,
it happens
in a snap
of the fingers
on the crossbow
of time
Like the sparkling arc
of destiny
on my tongue's
plaited river rhyme
like the journey
of the arrow
as it hits
its destined mark
like the lit-up flight
of the sparrow
despite
encroaching dark
like the wisp of a
flash of the jump
of the whale
in a deep blue sea
like my heart
upon airwaves
as your aura
sets me free
and within the holes
of the molecules
that reside in
the soul's abyss
my gentle eye lens
captures your
rolling tidal kiss
in sudden turn of storm
in unexpected rains
I find myself
in heaven's realm,
slicing through
my chains
I stand here wind-whipped
on mountain top
and range
and to you I beckon
in ferocious blooms
releasing all my rage
and slowly, unraveling
my layers
I burst forth
from my
cage

The little girl
wearing a Navy blue dress
with a white collar
and black patton shoes
holds a red
helium balloon
as she walks down a path of clouds
through the vast wilderness
of space and time
representing life on overtime
a second home on a lake
a souring career
living with a man she is married to
but doesn't love anymore
and may never have
sings the song
"Twinkle Twinkle , Little Star"
and she is wondering
just how far

if everyone answered
honestly
when they were asked
how are you
I wonder
how many lives would be saved

how many friendships made

as for me,
I'm depressed
exhausted
anxious
crashing
but still smiling

and one of a million

though
considering
I'm asked this question
at least two hundred times
during work
maybe it's better
we aren't honest
rhetorical question
generic response
maybe it's better
we hide

I'm not sad, I don't know what to feel
I'm a robot or a machine, anything but a heel
I did nothing wrong but I blame myself.

I have nobody else to blame
But I feel guilt and shame
Because everyone around me cares.

I never spoke to you but I saw you place
A smile on someone's face
Then I watched it melt into tears.

I have nobody else to blame
But I see guilt and shame
Because everyone around me cares.

I'm on the outside looking in
Unsure of where you've been
You could have traveled far and wide by now.

I have nobody else to blame
But I feel guilt and shame
Because everyone around me cares.

I'm on the outside looking in
I know that death always wins
But my heart's run out of ache for you.