I wish that someone was interested enough
In me
To read between the lines and read
Deep
To point out where I failed
And places I was strong
To stalk me and examine me
And notice my song
My rhymes
My patterns
And rythyms
And tell me that they notice me, because I
Would never guess that anyone would ever
Notice me

I wish it was easy,
reaching out,
but it's a struggle.
Every day
so lonely,
isolated.
I don't know what to do.

But I have to keep trying
even though I know
I will find myself here again.
Neverending isolation.
Is it me?

Day after day
unimportant chatter.
Smartphones in my way,
fear in my heart.

The armor comes off
ever so slowly.
Painful insecurity.
Fear of being left behind
without defense.

Though all I wish for
is to lie in your arms
and for you to lie in mine
completely bare,
all our vulnerability
on display.
We hold on to each other
fearing the moment we'll break apart,
but trusting it will never come.

I know we're on the way there,
though I have to confess
sometimes I still find myself
feeling isolated and lonely,
like now.

I'm trying to deal with it
but it hurts so bad.
Still I want you to know
it's not your fault,
you couldn't be more wonderful.
Maybe something is broken inside,
maybe it's just me.

Sometimes I just long for an embrace.
I crave a hand caressing my face.
Sometimes I wish
someone would tell me
I'm beautiful,
I'm intriguing.
It makes me feel so fragile,
but I don't want to be seen as fragile,
it hurts when people see me that way,
for its not all that I am.
I want to be strong in my fragility,
I want to be seen for who I really am.

But i promise to not shut myself off
no matter how hard it may be.
I will try to keep reaching out.
I know it will be painful sometimes,
sometimes i'll still feel isolated,
sometimes i'll feel misunderstood,
but i'll keep trying,
for you,
and most importantly myself.

What once used to be my refuge
is now run down and forgotten.
What happened to my home?
Once it was warm and comforting
but now it is crumbling to pieces.
I sink to the floor,
crumbling.
Memories flash before my eyes,
my heart is clenching,
I'm lost.

The red rose on my chest
shows the life that I left.
So much love I wanted to give,
it was my reason to live.
But thorns were caressing me,
loving and hurting me,
leaving scars on my skin.
I covered them in darkness
and tried to smile
but kept screaming within.
Forgotten, unloved, broken...
a dying heart.
Now everything that's left of me
is this red rose on the chest
of a frostbitten soul.

I see you around
but you don't see me.
I'm here,
I'm reaching out,
but it's in vain.

I'm hurt,
what can i say.
I feel like you forgot,
I feel like i'm not important,
but i know it's not true.

It can't be true.

I see you standing there
my beautiful friend,
I run to you,
you run to me,
but there's no reaching you,
the glass is separating us.

I scratch and scratch,
you do the same,
but the glass just won't break.
Tired I let my head sink,
I smile at you with tears in my eyes.
So close and yet so far.

I sink to the ground
and press my body against the glass.
I want to touch your skin,
I want to feel its warmth.

Each day i sleep at the glass,
I just dream it away.
I dream of reaching you,
of your body against mine.
I believe one day
my dream will come true.