I am different from who i was
this time last year.
and I am different
from who I was
this time two years ago.

but there was a point in time
where I was this peaceful
this strong
this willing
to endure

and it was when I was a child,
no older than ten.
when we were children,
and I was one of your best friends.

you have this stubborn will
about you
and this determined air
that leaves me wanting desperately
to be something
for you to be
stubborn about.

I am not who I used to be
and yet I am the same
because I am still
shy and strong willed

but I will not be so weak
and I will not give in
and I will not allow
words of those with no meaning
to sliver and crawl under my skin.

I am yours,
finally.
as you are mine,
finally.

I have tried and failed
at loving others.
I will not give up when it comes to you,
so I desperately hope
to succeed.

Love is nothing but treasure of the universe
Only fortunate can win its beautiful hand
Love has many colors, it’s colorful and diverse
Love is quality of God and of its own brand

Beauty is that eternal fountain which is known
For its streams to make fertile the barren hearts
Blessed is the one who comes in its chosen zone
Many a times it makes a lover parts and departs

Love is like a whirlwind and it is like a quicksand
It swallows the victim with just its complete force
Love has its abode on the sky as well as on the land
It is like a beautiful kiss of a lovely miss to endorse


Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

My sweetheart do not complain and whine
My sweetest  beauty just come on love line
Real love chain remains eternal and divine
I am staunch  lover you are beloved of mine

Just take a chance and give me some space
My eyes have captured your glowing face
What can be narrated about enchanting grace
Embrace me my sweetheart come face to face

There is nothing like you are that great virtue
So chaste and pure like a beautiful drop of dew
You are precious to me there is no one like you
I enjoy your graces just through and through

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

Love is reckless in its true nature and color
It is what makes life upside down to just stir
Beauty remains its basis and heart is author
Beauty is its bow and love becomes archer

Love is chaser and beauty is being chased
In the process of love both are just amazed
Whenever I look at you I am totally dazed
I always relish experience of being embraced

Let me take you as center of real excellence
Let  appreciate your cadence and brilliance
Your beauty has its own essence , fragrance
Let my love be the real source of resonance

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden glow

i know, i'm sorry
i said i'd never write about you again but
here is my apology.

1. we were just kids back then, i remember pulling your nightmares out of my blankets and whispering on the phone that i believed in you.

2. everything was so new and delicate and we just wanted to hold and break all of it. i can't blame you for wanting to know and destroy love.

3. the truth is that i miss you, but not in the way i should.

4. we may never have been in love, but i truly did feel like we were. i wish i had met you later on in life.

5. i'm sorry the little girl inside of me wanted to be enough for you, i'm sorry the person i am now couldn't be.

6. i know you didn't mean it when you told me it was my fault, but it still stings nonetheless.

7. it wasn't all your fault, i played a part too. i remember saying that i will love you forever.

8. i think i still will. but i know that i need to stay away.

9. i'm sorry we ended like this. i don't regret you. i regret letting you hurt me.

10. i pray that someone loves you better than i could. i pray that you learn. i pray that i do too.

11. i am sorry for everything, even when i shouldn't be.

12. goodbye and goodluck.

it has been one year since my ****.
it has been one year since my ****.
it has been one year since my ****.

every day and every day after gets worse.
every day and every day I see more and more how I was not wrong.
every day and every day I see more and more how I was.

it has been one year since my ****.
it has been one year since my ****.

sometimes I see boys on the street.
sometimes my eyes linger on their faces, their lips
sometimes I picture their faces, their lips on mine
sometimes I forget that I shrink away at a man's glance
sometimes I forget that I shrink away at a man's touch

it has been one year since my ****.
It has been one year since my ****.

my friends and my darlings scream out at injustice
they scream at a man who did what another man did to me
they say he didn't serve enough jail time
my friends and my darlings don't know that the man who touched me served no jail time
my friends and my darlings do not know that he walks free
free to live, free to harm, free to not be haunted
by the things he did to me

it has been one year since my ****.
it has been one year since my ****.

at moments I want to scream it from the rooftops
at moments I want to carve it into my flesh
at moments I want everyone,  everyone to know how I was hurt and left bleeding, (figuratively and literally) and naked (literally and figuratively) in a cold basement of a boy I did not know
at moments I want to say
'I WAS HURT (figuratively and literally) AND I AM IN PAIN (literally and figuratively) AND I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO HEAL'
these moments pass

it has been one year since my ****.
it has been one year since my ****.

every day and every day it gets better.
every day and every day it gets worse.
every day and every day I drag my hurt behind me like an anvil on a string
every day and every day and every day after that.

it has been one year since my ****.
it has been one year since my ****.