In June of 1870, my Great Great Granddad was playing Poker in the Old West.
Even though he was shot, the law neglected to place the murderer under arrest.
My Great Great Granddad wasn't being honest, he was cheating.
He was plugged through the heart and his heart stopped beating.
When he was exposed as a cheater, the killer blew him away.
Even though it was ******, the law never made that man pay.
When my Great Great Granddad cheated the killer, it was wrong, that is something I won't deny.
But when that man got off scott free, it was also wrong, my Great Great Granddad didn't deserve to die.

People are laughing but I don't think it's funny.
A ***** rotten crook stole my stolen money.
I was very happy because I successfully pulled a bank job.
But then that man pulled his gun on me and I was robbed.
I can't believe that it happened, it has been a terrible ordeal.
That crook stole the money that I worked so hard to steal.
This experience has left me bitter and appalled.
That thief didn't leave me anything, he took it all.
The cops caught up to me and I told them that the money was taken by that thief.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think that this would happen, it is beyond belief.
I failed to become a millionaire because of the money that he took.
I'm going to turn honest when I get out of jail, it doesn't pay to be a crook.

Even though you've been dead for two years, I still miss you terribly.
While you were alive, I meant a lot to you and you meant a lot to me.
You were an excellent mother and that is certainly true.
When it came to having a mom, I was proud to have you.
I still miss you terribly even though it has been twenty-seven months since you died.
Yesterday I was feeling pretty sad about your death and I **** nearly cried.
But I am feeling some better than I did just one year before.
I still miss you terribly because you're not around anymore.

I'm a Gungan from the planet Naboo and my name is Jar Jar Binks.
Senator Padme put me in charge once even though I don't even have the ability to think.
George Lucas brought me to life with a computer, I'm a product of CGI.
Because many Star Wars fans find me irritating, they want me to die.
Many people hate everything about me, they hate my voice, my six foot tongue and my orange skin.
Now that the prequels are over, those people are thankful that they'll never have to see me again.

Something terrible has happened to the entire world, we've lost Christopher Lee.
He was Count Dracula and he was also Saruman in The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
He starred as Francisco Scaramanga in a James Bond film and as Lord Summerisle in The Wicker Man.
He believed that his greatest performance was as Mohammad Ali Jinnah, the founder of modern Pakistan.

He starred in two Star Wars movies as Count Dooku.
He was a talented actor, a singer and an author too.
Sadly, this fantastic thespian has died at the age of ninety-three.
People are shedding tears as we say goodbye to Christopher Lee.

When Mom died, life lost a lot of its luster.
While she lived, everybody could trust her.
Everybody could trust her because she was so good.
She was wonderful, she helped everybody who she could.
I would've trusted her with my life, that's how much I trusted her.
She was one hundred percent trustworthy, that's for **** sure.
When she died so young, it was unfair and unjust.
She was a terrific lady who everybody could trust.

I'm the Emperor and my face looks like a prune.
I have dark circles around my eyes which also makes me look like a raccoon.
My name is Palpatine but I'm also known as Darth Sidious.
Everybody pukes when they see me because I look hideous.
I was able to trick Anakin Skywalker into turning to the Dark Side.
I actually convinced him that I had the power to save his bride.
I can't believe that I was able to turn him into a Sith Lord as easily as I did.
He actually believed that he could save Padme by killing Separatists and kids.
I thought that my new Death Star was safe from the rebels, I thought that I had won.
But Darth Vader dropped me into the main reactor of the Death Star to save his son.
Luke Skywalker removed Lord Vader's mask and he became Anakin Skywalker again.
I still can't believe that those **** Ewoks were the reason why my Empire didn't win.