look me in the eyes
with your mouth covered
and tell me what i want to hear
through what you're listening to

i'm fully awake
not fully right
i'll look you in the eyes
all silent but screaming

"may nothing but death do us part"

i saw blood gleaming on Ares' hands,
as i put my bullets to rest
i'm on the wrong side
i am only a part of numbers

i dropped my clouds of dreams
picked up hatred instead
i let them burn me, drown me in blindness
so i could see myself as a temporary hero

i see the right side rise as victors
and i'm someone else's mistake in history books
just one insignificant number
between remains and ashes

the rest of the city spat at me
i see my mother's regret in every drop
and all the lovers with pale bodies
and their prayers left unanswered

Scream your promises to my windows
I will answer to the streets
Carve forevers to my bed post
I will sleep covered in sheets

Keep your favorite record on my shelves
I might listen to them, unarmed
But I won't bother waking up early by myself
If you set silence as my alarm

Say that I never loved you, because
I'm like faraway stars in the morning

It made me
Sick.

The kind of sick
That books describe
As green,
Ghostly skinned
With red rust noses.

Sick to my stomach
Like when you wake up
At 2:00 AM
And realize that
Something
Is
Not
Right
Before you sprint
Down the hall
To the bathroom
And ***** pizza bagels into the
Pristine marble sink.

It made me sick like
When it gets so bad that
Blowing your nose hurts
Because the extra soft Kleenex
Have scratched your skin raw
Over
And
Over
Again.

It made me sick
When I realized
That it wasn't you that I loved
But the feeling of being loved.

Find me in your pile of tissues
It was about time we promised each other to leave, and
Xylophone sounds ringing in your ears used to be mine

Moonshine is quiet and pale
Even though you asked me to brighten it up

I** will stay in your head as an apology
Nailed on it
4 gigabytes of memories, and
5 months of regret

It's all blurred, and
I don't know whom to fight.