I say I'm scared of commitment,
you ask me why I have tattoos.
I tell you
tattoos can't leave me,
or be taken away,
or ripped off of me as soon as I feel like they are apart of my skin and who I am.
tattoos were there for me when everyone left.
tattoos stayed with my body when even my mind turned against it.
tattoos are all I have that is permanent.

you were like the first balloon I let go of as a child,
I had held you and cared for you during a time I will never forget,
and when it was time to let go I watched you fade away from me,
but while it was devastating and I needed someone to help calm me down, it was nice to sit back and wonder where you would go

at night I miss my sickness
because at least then
my life had a purpose