with apology
a sonnet brave
I pretend to be
worthy
resending a message
meant to be slang
tongue-in-cheek
I speak
***** how
I smile happily, smirk.
Entrancing asking
no bitterness, I say,
Sorry. I do not repent!
As your servant I am seeking
no ill,
dirtily.

i loved him in pure, unadulterated innocence,
whilst knowing he was anything but innocent,
and that's quite alright

Sixth grade summer we promised to never change,
Everyone kept saying we would drift apart,
But we refused to believe them,
It hit me right in the heart,
When I realized we'd lied,
I sat there thinking about the past,
And then I just cried.

You saved me on your desktop
A cyber purgatory every night
I see all your bits and all of your bytes
I'm tacked onto your back drop
Listening to all your lies and all your hiphop
Going through all your pictures, like the tinted frame of your sandy beach flipflops
And the guy you met at that party last night, the one that really hit it off

What am I to you?
Was I ever your addiction
Or was I just the drug that caused this confliction
Or was every word you spoke fiction

Why do I sing about you, you don't exist
You were just a figment of my imagination
Something I wrote, maybe it wasn't your novel at all
You were just someone I met, I never knew You were just part of the crowd
You were just one voice, I heard you, loud
They say you can only actually love a person once
Leaves my mind trailing through breakfast and lunch
With no decision by dinner, maybe a hunch
You were just someone I saw at night, you were my alcohol, you were my blood thinner

I'll never actually know you
You were my moonshine, and you were still
You didn't say anything, I spoke for you
I am god, I created you
You are the end of every line I write
You're the only one I see at night

Sometimes I look at you
And think What is love?
When you look at me
I feel as though you understand

You don't open the door for me
My eye twitches
And no one notices
What is love?

I wear the loveliest dress I own
Feeling as confident as can be
A glow of radiance upon my face
You tell me I look like a little child
My throat clenches
What is love?

Spent hours upon hours
On a gift for you
Hoping, praying it was enough
You smile
I get nothing in return
I brush it off
What is love?

I look for you in a crowd
Like the naive, foolish toddler
I have come to be
Caught in the waves
Of a sea of misconception
My heart leaps at your sight
My smile, wide as can be
You say I look at you strangely
My brow furrows
What is love?

I expect you to talk to me first
Because I want to feel loved
To believe I am wanted
I am impatient
How long must I linger?
Where I stand
Wallowing in solitude
I talk to you first
My head aches
What is love?

You tell me to wait for you
And I am tense
You ignore my anxiety
I would never ask such a thing of you
I don't want to be waiting
Waiting for someone
And to not live my life
I promise myself to never be so selfish
To ask something
And limit someone I love
A heat rushes across my cheeks
What is love?

I am tired
Drained of something
That I cannot begin to elucidate
Fatigued of justifying my emotions
My heart worn and feeble
Craving somewhat more
I try to describe to you
You make me feel foolish
Your indignant mind stupefies me
My teeth clench
What is love?

It has taken me far too long
To approach full awareness
To open my eyes
And recognize
I have not a clue
On the topic of love
For this is not love
Not even close
I punch a wall
*What is love?