The doctor told me the pills would make me numb.

I guess she was right because I can't even feel the tears spilling from my eyes.

The screams escaping from my mouth.

I can't feel my heart beating against my chest

My hands trembling trying to hold my lovers hand.

I can't hold onto the rope anymore

It's slipping between my fingers

Turning into thread, I'm losing my lifeline

Falling into the abyss, unable to feel my stomach in my throat

Poetry was her lifeline. If she did not write, her voice would suffocate her, and her screams would silence her. Her hands would shake and her lungs would break.

He looked at me with eyes full of hope, waiting for something. A word, a sentence, anything.
He watched the way my hands were shaking and I saw his happiness slowly fade away. He could see the fear in my eyes, watching the way my chest was rising and falling like the ocean waves. I let out a sigh and said no. I think I could hear the buildings drop inside is chest. The volcanoes erupting in his head. And the earth blown to a million pieces before his feet. I saw the life fade away from his face.

Black painted on my body in a loose fitted dress, thigh high stockings with a white lace border around the top. The shoes I wore to my brothers graduation. My hair hanging loose over my shoulders and down my back.

Black covered on bodies with pale or dark skin, all dressed from head to toe in clothes they wear to everyone's funerals. All their lost ones in their head today.

Black smeared mascara dripping down my cheek, mother wipes away my tears but is too slow to catch the next one falling.

Black and white blurred people all shaking my hand, and grabbing my shoulders as I stare into the ground trying to remember the last words he said to me.

Black filled mind with thoughts of his laughter and the way his wrinkles sometimes faded when he cried, or the time when I was a child and he threw me up high, always catching me and holding me as I cried.

Black lifeless eyes are staring at me now, I can't even recognize his face, it's not even him. I stand before my grandfather remembering that he was the only man who swept me off my feet and the only man I loved nonetheless.

At one moment, your depression is telling you that you don't care what happens. Then the next moment, your anxiety is screaming and clawing at you to do something. Having depression and anxiety is a constant war inside of yourself. Though, there are no winners.

There are so many eyes in the world and I can only see yours

I took your soul and you burned a hole in mine
You stole my heart and placed it to the side
I threw away all the memories you left behind
It's all just racing through my mind
All those memories wasted nothing but time
There was never a reason to stay and watch the sun die
We just wasted our life trying to see the moon shine
Only to lighten whatever hope we held in hands intertwined

You couldn't even hold me while I cried
Only gave me a look saying I'm sorry that I lied
You tore apart every inch of my insides
My body was begging to just lay down a die
A stranger at the bar bought me a drink and said baby don't worry all you have to do is try

So I gave you another piece of my heart, a second time
You said that life was just a lie and all you could think about was my dark grey eyes
This time your cried

And I was the one who watched you die,
Maybe in satisfaction or maybe in pride.