They don't know it but they're under inspection.
I'm watching while they fumble around each other trying to figure out how to figure,
it's ok because I already know.
I don't have a clue on how to figure out what they are fumbling over.
But I've figured out why they trip around each other snapping if they can't figure it out.
My opinion isn't valid and I'm not going to speak up because they haven't noticed I'm here watching.
I'll never teach what i've learned, they already know the answers to the wrong questions.
They would still fumble over the question and snap at each other trying to figure out what I've already figured.
I'm sitting here watching them trying to figure it out.

An octopus has three hearts but I still love you more than it ever could.
Dragonflys see everything but I’ve seen more plus some. I’ve been in your head.
Did you know elephants have 45 liters of blood? I bet it wouldn’t give up a drop for you but I’d give you all mine.
It’d be unforgettable and I know that because elephants don’t forget.
I don’t know If you knew but when wolves get separated from there pack they cry.
They submit themselves to the sky and beg for an answer.
They will
cry and
cry and
cry until their breath is gone, laying limp weezing.
Baring teeth to scare off the darkness as they fade into the light.
Did you know that I love you more then a octopus ever could, I’ve seen more of you then a dragon fly ever would, I honestly don’t think elephants remember everything and that you are my pack.

I'm terrified of the dark but I love closing my eyes to sleep.
If I can't see you,you can't see me.
You couldn't change me even if you changed the direction of my bones.
Even if you tore out my throat and wore it around.

Your not there, if I can't see you, you can't see me.

Is it normal to think, just because my head is aching, maybe just maybe there could be some blood that's not ment to be there or a tumor or maybe its cancer. The head ache will always go away.
Is it okay to pick at my freckles until my nails are filled with skin? A scar can cover any blemish I've learned.
Is it odd that I hear voices in my head and im convinced I have schizophrenia but I've figured out it's just me myself and I trying to get my two cents in, or maybe it's just cancer. I always end up finding myself talking to just one person at the end of the day.
Do you think its weird that I have it planned out perfectly for when the Koreans come? I practice fighting in my head until I fall asleep. I know they're coming so we're all ok.
Would you leave if you knew I diagnosed your family?

When it hurts so much you expect blood to be drawn.
When it hurts so much you look for the bullet wound.

Maybe that's why people get confused and daw their own blood or when they get their own bullet and place it in their head.

It makes sense when your confused.
Why is it that people look for sense to be made when they're confused?

Maybe sense isn't to be made, its to be destroyed.
That's all, only destroyed.

My mom used to put up sticky notes saying:
You are loved.
You are awesome!
God loves you.

They never got taken down, she's needs them now more then I do anyway.

I wrote her one and put it on her pillow.

She acted like the man upstairs wrote it.
She treats me like I'm the man upstairs.

I have not risen and I don't walk on ******* water.

I need to give her my sticky note that says:

Mom, I think god forgot about me.

I'm sitting in a tub full of water scratching at the skin that holds my organs together.

This isn't ******* poetry.

I'm sitting in a tub of my own dirt listening to my dog bark.
His frustration could be mistaken for artillery.

I swear to you this isn't poetry.

Bananas bruise to show that they're ready, I thought you should know that.

I think I'm ready.

I can dodge the rain I'm so fast I can stand in the middle of the street and not be touched. I'm telling you this as I'm soaked.

You are like the canker sore in my mouth, I nudge at you trying to help then your heart and eyes go dry and a pain seeps on to my lip.

When I look into my dogs eyes I know I am a good person.

When I see the creases on my mother's face I know I have been a burden.

But right now I'm  sitting.
I never was standing in the rain, I ran
through it to get home.
Sometimes you need to say things to let people know things.

But I can dodge the rain.

I get so infuriated I attack my face until it's raw with a wash cloth.
Pick at my hair until its perfect.
Pick at the scabs that cover my head because I'm anxious.
But first off let me tell you that anger is a secondary emotion.

So I guess im miserable.

I rub at my face until there is noting left to see,
I pull out my hair because I can't stand the way it stands.
But first off let me tell you I never used to feel this way, I might of changed after that second, second.
I get so engaged I forget about everything. Its quite beautiful actually.
But someone calls off the marriage, then I get put back into reality so carefully just like a doll in a doll house.
But first off let me tell you something, they told me that what I feel comes in second.

I want your jaw to drop,
just like the man dropping dead in the middle of the street.
I want your breath to be stolen from your throat,
Just like the sickness stole my hope.
You’re going to ache for what I have to tell you next.
I’ll leave you hanging just like the boy hung from the tree in the park.
He took his life.
Ill take the rest of this, but in the end I’m left with nothing.
You’re left with your mouth hanging open and with no breath in your lungs.
You look just like the boy in the park.

I allowed you to come onto my level.
You never came down.
You wrote me one letter when I was being punished for trying to ****** myself.
One letter.
I was your god, taking you from reality, making you swallow this smoke.
It swallowed me,
Smoke detectors were going off in my head,
I chose to sit in the fire and load another bowl.
Some boy came and put the fire out.
Saved my melting hair and sorta kind of made me love the skin I'm in.
We're on two different levels, I'm just waiting for you to come down.

I can choose where to put my bruises.
I chose to run the bath water a little to hot so my skin could know what it feels like inside my head.
I just want to let everyone know that i know.
They can stop telling me every breath I had made was wrong.
I've been doing this breathing thing for quite a while.
Replace breathing with living and now you've got it.
I think I should rip my eyelids off so I can't stop seeing what I've done.
Maybe carve it into my legs for a reminder that I carried myself away.
I just want you to know that I know.
I have bruises on my knees and I don't know how they got there.

The wind is winding up to knock the air out of me, this is not a drill I repeat this is not a drill.
I pulled the fire alarm by not taking my medicine on purpose.
It just rubs me the right way to be able to ruin myself for one whole day.
Breaking my own neck to see if anybody is looking at me, ripping off my own nails trying to crawl away from the sickness in my head.
Its already got me.
In all reality this is a walk in the park.
I've been here before, I've felt this before.
But that's just too easy.
I've got to stay on my toes when my feet are nailed to the ground.
When I was younger I didn't know of emotions or how to control them, now they control me.
There's a dog fight going on in my head and I'm on the outside ramming my head against the wall begging them to stop, please just stop.
I believe dogs are better then most people and hearing them trying to die because they were taught to makes me sick.  
I don't have to see it, I am the animals.
Killing myself because I was taught by myself to win by dying.
I'm taking a walk in the park while a dying mutt hangs onto my neck trying to win.
This is happening while everybody else is happening but inside me
there is
so
much
more
then
something
just
happening.