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i am madly, deeply, brutally in love.
Stop sticking
your pins in my sides
I'm not an avatar for someone else's pain
I have enough wounds of my own that need to heal
so stop trying to make me
your voodoo doll
because I'm not built for that kind of pain
no not at all
I know I've done a lot of wrong
I know I can't do any right
but stop punishing me because of this
it's nowhere near worth the fight.

So please I beg you against my pride
stop stabbing me violently in the side
dispiriting my body and reaping my soul
because you know I've nowhere to go
I'm trapped imprisoned inside my own head
the same thing that helps keep me awake could turn on me And I'd wind up dead.

I can't escape my mind And I can't get it right
if I got up any measure of nerve maybe I wouldn't be writing this tonight
I keep trying to exorcise these ghosts upstairs but they keep coming back to life
The rain falling reminds me of you because it's falling hard, and I am too..
Just one sentimental fool here waiting for the rain to stop and so longing for the summer!! :)
Slender slippery shadows slither straight at my figure
Memories that come with weight I try not to remember
          This gallows consists of tightwires and tighter knots
Thinking of a way out is bait
Doubt outweighs triumph on a daily basis
    Attention is called to failures while *success dies from budget cuts too deep to bandage

           Being broke and broken you incure a lot of damage and debt
        Ruined plans and regret
And learn to love when the rope holds tight around your neck
     Stability of any sort is necessary
     When the drop is so **** scary

        *Hell is just a phone call away
               And they have a billion ******* receptionists ready to rapidly redirect your call

    A donation of one ****** soul can get you a sidewalk all the way to Hell's blackened gates
     Either way you arrive sleep deprived
    *Nightmares of reality plant seeds deep inside

Creating sleepless nights
And I seek advice in low places
    Because I'm scared of heights
I fail to recognize the irony

  The noose is too tight
I'm so far above the ground
    I don't think the drop would bother me anymore
I'm my own disease
I'm my own worst enemy
I can't decide
I've lost my mind
I'm either hiding from everyone
or easy to find
I need a syringe
of some kind of medicine
to get me out of
this pit that I'm in
I can't even walk
let alone crawl
I'm the loser from the teen movies
that one and all
So I reign
over my patch of dirt
like Johnny cash
I'll just make you hurt
I'm no one's benefit
just a constant burden
on myself and others
that much is certain
now some may think
this isn't true
but I've been this way for so long
what more can I do?
I have no confidence
my pride is all but dead
sometimes I have to bully myself
to get this out of my head
not one person has ever seen
the faces I take off daily
Will someone ever figure it out?
one day... maybe
i am tired
not for lack of sleep--
no, i slept quite well last night
and i've had my coffee

it's something deeper, something
inherently present, in the
fibers of my skin,
in my tendons, in my eyes.

i am exhausted,
fatiguely by life,
by the noise and silence,
the people, and
the empty rooms,
the light and dark;
by hope and despair

so worn down by the world
that nothing in it can
refresh my mind from the constant buzzing.

i am tired and there are not
enough hours in the night
for the type of rest i need...
I draw my pen
From its sheathe
Taking up my stance

Target now
Within my sight
I begin my advance

I reach into
The realm of dreams
In hope to retrieve my muse

Instead I draw
Upon cracked slates
Broken and abused
He was unhappy so he took a pill
When the docs saw his brain
they thought
He must be mentally ill
but he just smiled
at their misdiagnoses
and finally said
Could you return my hat
and please step out of my head
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