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 Jan 2015 Porsche Newell
nivek
you play me a lullaby
rain on the windows
soft touch of magical
as only you know how
I am the flightless pelican.
I’ve found myself with my mouth full,
my stomach full, and so much still on my plate.
Possessed by an inhuman hunger,
I will gorge upon pure potential.
I will yowl on and on, without sleep.
-
I have sand between my toes.
My shoes are glued to my feet.
Keep on running ‘til the calluses come.
There has to be a point where I stop to sweat,
and I’ll finally get my sigh of relief.
I have one ride left on my bus pass.
-
I have a tendency to ramble
and languish in my own stench.
People tend to forget this at first;
lured in by the false face of a genetic fluke.
They want to know the impression I left,
not the procrastinator; the cud-chewing goat.
-
I can’t sleep being held,
or if I feel someone’s breath in the still.
I start to feel the urge to burrow
into the quiet quilts; patchwork Promised Land.
I cater to the crowd that caters to themselves,
but I’m no Utilitarian. Fox and Lion.
-
I have cousins like brothers,
and I have brothers like strangers.
Stray cats with names
and a copy of The Mahabharata that I stash my money in.
I’m sitting on a sunny pier with my hook in the water;
avoiding conflict with no bait.  
-
Paper cuts from the gold leaf
on the edges of hymn book pages
with burgundy leather covers.
These guilty cuts, bleeding for what seems like hours,
while we steadily forget that anyone was singing.
Alone with our thoughts in the crowd.
 Jan 2015 Porsche Newell
Louise
I thought I saw a glimpse
of what could have been
a little flicker of light
in the years of darkness

The past, clouded,
it still mattered
but I'm supposed to forgive
aren't I?

Things are different
in a good and bad way
I thought I'd been given chance
to have some sort of closure
a peace, that could settle within me.

I foolishly thought
that maybe I'd deserved it.
I  could be left with memories,
of the pleasant kind
not like I had before

Her illness can create an ugly side,
I  know,
but I can't help but wonder,
is it just the part of her
that she so often tried to hide?
Now the Dementia
causes her to forget
to conceal the deceit

It's just too hard
it's too close
too familiar.
Emotionally
it costs me too much
I tried
but I think I'm done.
This is about my relationship with my mother. She wasn't pleasant in the past but the dementia softened her somewhat  for a while.  Unfortunately certain behaviour is raising its ugly head and it's just too hard for me to handle again.  This is how I'm feeling now but who knows,  I may gain some strength from somewhere.
 Jan 2015 Porsche Newell
Louise
She used to be a poet
always with a notebook and pen
the words slipped away from her though
she wasn't sure how, or when!

She used to sit alone
enjoying the freedom in her mind
but the pen no longer writes
the notebook,  just a blanket of white.

She used to pour her heart out
blood oozing across even lines
Her soul laid out bare
no need to hide behind a disguise

She used to think it would last forever
day after day,  line after line.
Is it just a sweet fantasy
or have the words run out of time.
All those years ago we met,
I was a fool for you.
I cannot remember a day
that I didn't think of you.
You broke me,
shattered me into pieces,
my heart lost in you.
I kept loving you,
I kept needing you.
Every word I said,
you shut me down,
then pulled me in,
then threw me out.
I knew it was wrong,
though I kept coming back,
crawling back,
running back.
I remember the days,
I used to cry,
till my eyes were raw and red.
Now instead,
I wonder why,
and regret that we even met.
If only the me now,
could face the you then,
you would have been
the beggar.
If I could turn back time,
that's the way it would be,
and I'd be with you,
never.
Plunge yourself into the abyss
Forget all the things you’d miss
Give in to nature's embrace
Leaving behind not a single trace
Boldly venturing into the unknown
Facing all kinds of dangers alone!

Put aside your troubles and worries
Forget about the same old stories
Point your finger and close your eyes
Spin around, give it a hundred tries
Take whatever you need and flee
Nevermind the direction, do it for me!

It's time to cross the seas,
Climb the tallest of all trees!
Knock down a hive of bees,
So just get up off your knees!

It's time to fight with sharks!
To be the one who barks!
Quit strolling around the parks
Quit scoring the lowest marks


*Self-Exile for Amateurs by João Massada is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Sometimes I just feel like leaving this noisy city and boring routine, and go live an adventure in the woods, or a tropical island, to be in contact with nature
I am from Pakistan...
Yesterday on 16 December, 2014 our city Peshawar got attacked.  Terrorism at it's peak!
Innocent kids and teachers were brutally killed by the terrorists. These martyrs didn't know that there    life was going to end like this!
My whole nation is bleeding.teachers were burnt in front of their students. Bullets were sprayed on innocent lives. THIS ISN'T HUMANITY!  THIS ISN'T WHAT ISLAM TEACHES! THOSE TERRORISTS **** OTHERS IN THE NAME OF GOD BUT THIS ISN'T WHAT GOD WANTS FROM US.
I REQUEST you all to pray for the young martyrs because humanity has no Boundaries!  
Thankyou.
Please pray for the safety of every country because everyone's life is precious!
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