I thought I saw a glimpse
of what could have been
a little flicker of light
in the years of darkness

The past, clouded,
it still mattered
but I'm supposed to forgive
aren't I?

Things are different
in a good and bad way
I thought I'd been given chance
to have some sort of closure
a peace, that could settle within me.

I foolishly thought
that maybe I'd deserved it.
I  could be left with memories,
of the pleasant kind
not like I had before

Her illness can create an ugly side,
I  know,
but I can't help but wonder,
is it just the part of her
that she so often tried to hide?
Now the Dementia
causes her to forget
to conceal the deceit

It's just too hard
it's too close
too familiar.
Emotionally
it costs me too much
I tried
but I think I'm done.