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I've been so scared
of being happy,

I've mistook firework sounds
For gun shots.

- F.T. 12/29/16
If you always face left,
  try once facing right

Stuck deep in the mire,
  all truth beyond sight

It’s the questions at hand,
  as answers unwind

Past and future a myth,
—the present to bind

(Villanova Pennsylvania: December, 2016)
 Dec 2016 Eternal Threshold
w
27
 Dec 2016 Eternal Threshold
w
27
fake laughter will always be worse than no laughter at all
You cannot remake a day
Cannot remodel it
In clay

Goodbye
It is gone

Wake up
Still breath
Steams

Today

The only
The best day
Of your life
xii
i'll be good,
i'll be fine.

everything's going to be
good and fine.

that's my mantra starting today.
pls try to smile at least once a day and breathe in and out. xo
Remember the time,
When you stood right behind me,
Watching me enjoy the limelight.
The time when I acted stupid,
But you brought the right words to my sight.
The time when I refused to work,
But you kept pushing me to do so.
The time when I had given up on myself,
But with those harsh and emotionless lines you made me believe in who I was.
The time when everyone left,
But you stayed.
The time when I kept arguing over wrong statements,
And when you knew how to counter me with the right one.
All this time long,
You stayed and believed.
Maybe we never realised,
Maybe we never knew.
But this world had these two kinds,
Sherlock and Watson.
Each one searching for the other,
Sherlock's searching for Watson,
Watson's searching for Sherlock,
Maybe they are fine alone,
But maybe they are best when together.
Maybe a Sherlock would have never enjoyed the limelight,
Maybe he would have given up on himself way earlier,
Maybe he would have not been he.
But then Watson made it all happen.
Maybe that is how it works.
*Maybe one day we'll find our Sherlock,
Or maybe one day a Watson would find us.
Should anyone ask us about our love,
Especially I'll mention how we loved,
Xclusively for one another we used to.

When you were stressed out,
And you needed me to relax,
Should not be forgotten by you.

You did love me,
Or rather than just love,
Up you went on my tender touch,
Rolling over on the first hint.

Love was just a word you used,
Us was just a piece of myth,
So you ever wanted was a tool,
T**ool you wanted but not Atul.
My HP Poem #1346
©Atul Kaushal
Home,
I often wonder
Where is.
For I found it
Often everywhere,
And nowhere at all.
Under a big slide in the evening
When I was little,
With pebbles and dust
Home, was easy to make.
I found it in teacups, in long drives
Sitting right behind the driver to avoid eye contact and
Hot showers before dinner to skip time.
"Why are seas so loud and so quiet at the same time?"
I'd often think and make home out of the endless sand at the beach.
You didn't ask me why I was quiet or shy
When I met you.
Maybe you understood my awkwardness, somehow.
But it's nice to drink tea quietly
Even with people around,
And that felt like home.
My apartment is walls but
I have corners I call home.
I often wonder,
How lonely I'd be without pebbles, art, hot showers and the loud rumbles of the quiet sea.
Or just a while in the morning light with you and black tea,
At home.
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