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Liars
All of us
All the time
Everyone
Everything
Honesty
Is a beautiful luxury
And a tragic weakness
No one is as they seem
We all hide behind intricate masks
Carefully crafted
Rarely cracking
Concealing the truth that lies behind the eyes
Paradoxical
problem-causer
Mirror of her own
pain

That mask of being so
elite
Protects her battered heart from
break

Broken girl
doomed
to become the very monster
that kills her
A close friend of mine is a narcissist. It's exhausting to deal with, and I've wished I could be brave enough to tell her I don't want to be her friend for years.

But I've realized it isn't about being brave. It's about being kind. I am one of the only people who cares enough about her to see beneath the mask, and I see pain so similar to my own it hurts. Trauma like this causes all sorts of anomalies. I suppose I'm lucky my own is one that cares for me and protects me, instead of just projecting a destructive image of perfection.

Friendly reminder to be patient with the person that you saw in your head when you read this: you never know what they may going through. Try to look past the irritation and empathize if you can
failed
transformation

broken
Metamorphosis

you were not Gifted
or
Cursed

now you are split
not merged
not strong

your butterfly
has malformed wings

good
Monster
striking
failing
unable to comprehend
who
you
are

I thought you could be a
role model
an example on
who I should be

but now I see
you showed me what I must do
but not how to do it

you do not understand
you don't know
who
you
are

the beautiful thing
you could have become

you are lost
split
broken

I inherited this creature, this Monster
from you

but I understand it
accept it
embrace it!

my Metamorphosis will succeed
Alii Semper Vincemus!
you will see
I will show you
who
you
are

you are broken
clinging desperately to
shaky
control
you must see that it's not working
you will break
and then you will see
who
you
are

I love you anyway
You failed your Metamorphosis
failed your Monster
failed yourself

I will learn from your mistakes
i am a literal thinker
something not verY useful for a pOet
for everyone else writes Using metaphors
and Dreamlike language that i dOn't kNow how
To replicate
Unless i caN somehow teach myself to
write like a poet Does
i will forEveR be loST in this ethereAl world
but at least everyoNe will think i
Dont truly mean what i say
People in real life take me too seriously. But people here don't take me seriously enough
On the outside
I see
Less
Than others

But beyond physical sight
They are the blind ones
Thought I had while enduring the quiet humiliation of an eye exam :)
We are our parents' children
deep down inside
we inherit their DNA and mannerisms
And the rules that they abide

As children we watch closely
to what they say and do
We soak it up, the good and bad
Each behavior we curiously view

So if one's mother is gentle and kind
Then one shall almost surely be
But if she is cruel and fickle and rude
Then these traits unfortunately we may see

And if one's father patient and steady
Then one truly has a shot
But if he is angry or hateful or harsh
Then these things will one be taught

Oft I have wondered of my own life
And who I'll turn out to be
Will my own generational trauma continue
Or will it end with me?
Spending time with my grandparents helps me to understand a bit more why my mother is the way she is.
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