I remember the first time..
It crept in,
so quiet
so gentle.
Like how the sky goes black.

But this time it's like a
tsunami, a flash flood
a freefall.

I'm standing on a roof
and suddenly I'm flying through the air
the ground below rising  up to meet me
as my brain assures me
"Just this once is okay."
"You'll be just fine."

I wonder

Is the sun jealous of the moon
Or the fork of the spoon
Does the pencil envy the pen
Just a little, now and then

Does the tree begrudge the flower
Or the minute of the hour
Does the computer resent the phone
Because it has to stay at home

I wonder

I do not like this feeling
of thought processes spreading
in my mind,
like a dollop of molasses...

I do not like my temples throbbing,
but I do not like a mess...
this madness will make
a mad hatter out of me,
all my pieces will
scatter for infinity,
the treasures within me
soon lost at sea..

I do not like you.
I do not like you.
I do not like being
pushed to the edge,
I do not like you,
I do not like being
pushed overboard,
I do not like you,
I do not like the thoughts
messing with my head,
I do not like you.

But I stay,
and the owner
of red glowing eyes
surveys from above,
he does not like this love...
It looks too much like loyalty,
so my strength is all taken from me

With a single rip,
perseverance dead,
I am tired.