for a small island it is big and timeless
skies rolling on forever,
sea a constant companion
a slow unfurling of history, hardly changing
its sits in the two blues and sometimes
you cannot tell which is the sky.

The fact that people so easily forget me is upsetting,
I would succumb to something if I knew well enough:
to toughen up behind a hug, to  summon up strength,
to go to whatever lengths just to permanently stain a page
with a name that becomes synonymous to my own.
Writing has become synonymous to the word hurting,
the diamond behind a curtain that droops over reality.
Writing has become synonymous to the word masking,
the casket that hides the real emotions we set aside to die.
Writing has become synonymous to the word invisible,
the minimal impact that makes miracles into nothing.
I will not be a part of the writing process if that is its course
I will force myself to open doors that may lead to nowhere
I will bare all of my soul for anyone interested to read,
I will bleed in between lines to make my mark in this art.

I will pave the path of being the next titanic that sinks,
I will be a titan that thinks before leaping in with bare fists
I will risk all I am for someone to read and hear my soul.
Just so I can be more than a page in a book that doesn't get thrown out,
I have grown out of my idealistic childhood days but I still play-
the part of those with a broken heart, the part of those who's art
speaks what their mouths can never say.
I know, one day I will be an indelible ink staining minds.

i.

impressions
shapes
and sounds,
the shady-lane
trees,

the yellow
balloons
of the skies
icy arctics,
the pink
feathers of
the soil.

ii.

surreal as the
shifting day,
turquoise and
angular, bright
sky drowned
in the cold, brisk
air, language
of love and air,
base note of love.

iii.

love, impressions of
light and dark,
soft brush stroke
of sea-blue, air
the colour of
lips.

iv.

witching night,
darkling clouds
pressed to the sky,

love, settling like
a mist.

v.

sweet lips
sipped,
incredible
sky of our
dreams,
drawn close
like the
pillowy clouds.

He presents what you see
with impeccable finesse.
He hides everything else behind the curtains.
Heavily veiled by his smiles...
Cleverly masked behind his script.

He stands elevated, taking his stage.
From his vantage he sees all.
He allows his facade to bask in the light...
Whilst keeping his back in the shadow.

He's renowned.
By the light that kills the dark.
He's addicted to the nightly ovations,
cascading cheers and gleaming reviews.

But every show has an end.
Come every dawn, he wakes to the reality
that tolls at his door.
He's owned and he knows it...
Too well,
by the stage he built
and the drama he wrote and casted.

Diamonds are as hard to find
As the words that should be said today
The tears come out as hard
As the words that are left for me to say.

It calls me closer, its calls me near
Death whispers in my ear
Irresistible is its sweet entice
Staring down, which one to slice,
I observe my previous tries
My unseen hurt and cries
No peace in my mind, no peace in my head
The quiet intelligent, long since fled
Anger and rage consumes me
My minds demons bursting to be free
The walls of my cage finally cave
"Just be you, just be ******* brave"
I slash down with a knife
"Forget this world, forget my life"
Blood oozes and drips down the drain
A slight tingle but no real pain
A calmness comes over me
My last attempt please, it's got to be
***** everyone, that's made me into this
The very same people who I'm going to ******* miss
Tears stream down my cheek,
My head feels heavy, I get dizzy and legs go weak
Then nothing.... Blankness, no sound
I feel my body drifting
I hear scraping, something's stirring around
Surrounding me, I can here creatures shifting
I hear a scream, I hear a moan
I want my family, I'm all alone
I hear a cry, I hear a sob
And realize it's my own  
No sound out my mouth, only in my mind
No one to help me, no one for me to find
I've never felt so scared....
My soul finally screamed in despair
I know i'm supposed to be a grown up
but
"I give up..."