we are lifted
above these
blue-gray clouds
alone through
this mountain of light
when we fly too
close to the sun
we descend
back to the earth
and through
this mountain of light

I've lost myself in the driving need to please others.

The importance of this is lost on me.

How fitting.....

How me.

The constellation of Orion glimmers in the distance, as it hangs beside a full winter’s moon. The wind bitterly whips its frozen lash, a gentle reminder that the Sun won’t be rising any time soon.

Only the lost and the hungry wander this night, those that seek what they cannot find. Even the most solitary of creatures long for the company of their own kind.

Wild eyes shine through where the shadows reside, a lone black wolf is roaming free amidst the darkness outside. A living, breathing piece of an untamed history. Battle tested but long since rested, clouded and shrouded in mystery.

Pay close attention to his paw prints glistening softly in the snow. They’re pointing the direction to a life much different from the one you’ve come to know. Travel back to a time when wild was all there was to be. Remove the disguise from those beautiful eyes and he will change the very world that you see.

Lie beside me once more.
And I'll pretend that everything is fine.
Just this once.

It's as if we've started over...
But with the knowledge we've gained over the years...

We'll play our songs.
Flipping through the vinyl like it's our first time again.

Smoking and drinking.

The ***** habits we had and maybe still have.

I'm stuck with the memories...
Good and bad.

And sometimes I find myself wishing for those old routines.

But I must move on.
Just like I've done.
Just like you've been doing too.

I cannot even look at you. You disgust me, and it's not even your fault.
You're perfect in every way possible, you're everything I wish I could be. But I'm not.
He looks at you like you're a shiny new toy, like a homeless man admires a dollar bill.
He looks at me like I'm nothing but a disappointment. But it's not your fault.
You didn't ask for it. You didn't ask to be perfect In his eyes. But still I hate you for it, yet all you want is to be like me. Which he won't ever let happen.
You are and always will be everything I will never be.

i seem to be a lucid dreamer
at times;
constantly finding you in me

why do i like to dream about
the "could be's"
and the "never was"
as if it brought great joy to me

i seem to be a constant thinker
most times;
i can hardly think straight

through every nerve in my brain
it remembers every memory
of you
with ease

i seem to be a violent lover
all the time;
as if love is my crime

my soul had handcuffed
my heart
cutting every connection
of you

i seem to be nothing at all
i barely remember;
what is like to be loved now

i am a tiny flake
of dust
just breezing through
the depths of your mind

(b.d.s.)

Let the beauty and pain of the world spill over the coffee table and onto the floor.
Use the raw materials to construct a reason-
a reason for why my mother tells me
what her grandmother told her:
"Like cream you will rise to the top".
Make something of yourself out of the chaos
and jagged edges of the world.
Let the bits and pieces of reality loose
to align in nothing but piles and small bits.
Then tediously right all wrongs,
in steady and purposeful motions,
until you are but dust and granules yourself.