stop caring so much

they say we’re living for happiness

but what is that?

                                        / / /

things that we can’t know nor see

       we don’t hear the words adults say

as time passes we would realize

six thousand languages
and there are still no
arrangement of words that
could begin to describe
how much i love you

pale skin,
empty eyes,
shattered hearts,
lonely lives

remember when we
were little kids?

we used to say that
we would never do
drugs and do bad
things, like break
other people, or hurt
them.

all those little lies and
promises fill up the jar
of lies i keep hidden
underneath my bed.

"i'll protect you"

"i won't hurt you"

"i love you"

all those small, little lies
actually hurt and they
leave a mark on my skin

marking me as the one
who was stupid and
foolish enough to fall for
such a simple lie.

sunflower seeds
calm breeze
flowing sundress
hot sun
cool water
smooth skin
salty air
blooming flowers
shades of cool

loving you is like picking
the petals from a flower
i hate you, i miss you, i
hate you, i miss you
but whichever petal i end
up with, will you please
come back?

i hear laughter from the other side of the room.  i look up to see him laughing with his friends.  
i smile slightly and then stop.  
i look down and scold myself,
*'he'll never like a girl like me...unpopular, ugly, stupid, and awkward.  why would he like me when he could have someone better?'

it is 11:59 p.m.
and i love you.

and in a minute,
when it is a new day
and bits of me have
been erased and i
can still see the vague
imprint of your face
on a pillow that has
taken you place,

i think i may love
you more than
i did a whole
minute before.

do not
forget the
boy who
broke your
heart too
quickly
because
like an
eraser
rubbing
out a
spelling
mistake
in haste
it will
leave
a stain
so grey
another
boy
won't
ever
take his
place.

one minute i’m doing okay.
      and the next i feel like,
    the walls are closing in.
i’m being caved in inside my own head.
    and my heart starts sounding
        like a thousand drums all at once to me.

i understand
why you chose
her and not me.

why would you
choose me if you
could have a
prettier,
smarter,
outgoing
girl like her?

why would you
choose me?
stupid,
ugly,
shy
girl like me?

❀
the flowers also shed its leaves

the rich also trust no one,
always looking out for their money

the fame of celebrities
also melt down like ice cream

the jewels also become yellow
when worn continuously

the sun also cannot always
look down on us

the clown does not always smile
the bird also cannot always make sounds

the youth also will ******* one day like paper
glamorous lights also cannot shine without electricity

my amazing dad also gets wide eyed
when he sees his own ID card

the scorching fire also turns to dust
when it’s out

glamorous things like peacocks,
like its glamorous wings open and close

sad people
always try and
make other
people happy

because they
know how
terrible it is
to feel worthless

even when the sky is falling

                                                   down

even when the earth is crumbling

                                                             'round my feet

even when we try to say goodbye

No one cares unless you're rich or dying

the girl who cries wolf is always
ignored by gravity
but in the end,
don’t ask why

The irony eats away at me.
He's got hope, literally.
and I'm stuck hopeless
starting to wonder how long
it'll be before i will
come to my senses and give up
on the boy who's given up on me

no matter what or how i think

i think a part of me is broken.
i feel like something is pressing my heart.
it feels so frustrating, and it makes me sad.

what should i do?

its funny how artistic
we become when our
hearts are broken

i'm erasing myself from the narrative

"i was just a second choice to everybody"

My funny Valentine
Sweet comic Valentine
You make me smile with my heart

My funny Valentine
Sweet comic Valentine
You make me smile with my heart

Your looks are laughable
Unphotographable
Yet you're my favourite work of art

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart? (yeah)

Don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay, little Valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's day

Is your figure less than greek
Is your mouth a little weak
When you open it to speak
Are you smart? (yeah)

Don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay, little Valentine, stay
Each day is Valentine's day

being in love

and not loved back

is like lying on grass

and feeling needles

where did you go?

"I can’t stop crying because I know you’re gone. 
My friends tell me you never really loved me, because if someone loved another, they’d never leave them. Especially not in the darkest of times. 
I know you’re gone and I should be over it.
I know you’re gone, and crying isn’t going to bring you back. I know you’re gone, and no amount of poetry I write will result in you calling me up at 4 am. You don’t want me anymore, and I realized that the second you quit your good morning and goodnight texts. I watched you unlove me when our love spun out of control, and hit rock bottom. The funny thing is, I only loved you more from that moment on. But I know, I know. I know I’m never going to hear you sing to me again. I know you won’t pick up my calls at the first ring like you used to, because lately I’m just forwarded to voicemails. I get it. What we had was up and down, and I can’t expect you to love me forever.
Even though you told me you wouldn’t mind doing that. You told me you wanted to get as close as possible to forever with me.
I know you’re gone. But when will my heart finally understand what my brain already does?
I wish I could forget, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m meeting new people, but somehow only the sound of your voice still echoes in my mind."

passenger seat in your beatdown CRV

1 am

70 down the interstate
left hand in yours
your flannel in my right
pressed against my nose
something is so reassuring about your aroma
and it's not the cologne you spent
a weekends pay check on
or the same deodorant you've
been using since the day i met you
but simply
you

you smell like home
and overtime i'm in your arms
for those minutes that seem
like forever
when i close my eyes and my face
hits your chest

i'm no longer

homesick

people walk past me,
not noticing the subtle hellos
no one knows the small,
fragile girl that sits alone at lunch
no one nears the girl who curls up
in the corner, avoiding the crowd

it's harder to make new friends as you grow up

another shooting star
dances across
the night sky
but this time
i wished
for happiness

because i know
i'll never have
your arms wrapped
around me no matter
how many wishes
          it takes

a little sip
of your poison
leaves me wanting
more of your mystery

the burning sensation
that i feel in my body
leaves me wanting
more of your touch

the magnetic desire
pulls me to you,
closer and closer

leaving no room,
to escape

all of a sudden I felt
really tired.

Like the world had drained me
for everything that
I had.

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness

​
my mind is like a
hurricane of letters,
words, phrases.

words tumble
together and
make thoughts,
continuous thoughts
and mixed feelings.

mixed feelings about
myself, life, and death.

the words i left unspoken,
pile up in my word jar,
waiting to be spoken,
to be spilled.

the words i left unspoken,
untold, are infinite, everlasting.

the words i didn't say,
are waiting for you.

you have more freedom
than you’re using