It is harshness, beautiful girl..
but far from being a cruelty.
I'm trying to find the words because
you deserve to have the chance, to choose
based on the truth of what is truly loving
and what is not.
In your need for access to raw,
the machine has put its hooks in to you
deep, beautiful girl.
And my only access-- to get through
the machine's intricate gearwork
is unfortunately, during the time
when you are struggling most,
within the greatest of calamities--
But it is at that time..
when the highly mechanized machine's, gearwork
is most penetrable.
So naturally it is at that time,
when an intervention
would seem, so cruel..
I'm not afraid of my love for you
actually killing you..
There is something deep inside your spirit
that somehow tells you--
That even in the midst of the chaos..
And within even that which so often
feels as being cruel..
this might indeed, actually be Love--
The real thing.
But at that level.. who on Earth could actually
trust that it actually, could be?
And your well perceived, perception of cruelty
comes from the fact is it must seem to you--
That every time you truly open up
your heart to me.. I seem to blast you,
and knock you to the ground..
when you feel you need me, most.
I'm still looking for words
to describe it, beautiful girl--
But it has to do with something..
in the Realms of love--
And the things that take it in
And the things that thwart it.
There are not yet human words,
here on Earth, to describe it..
But one day, my so very beautiful..
I know that one day, there will.
cast out, in to the Universe--
That was as far as I had gotten, when you showed back up and started talking to me again. If you continue to choose to hold on to your psychosis-induced beliefs that are solely procrastination, based.. nothing that I give to you is going to help. Nothing.
You are the person I love most here on Earth.. when it comes to a soul that truly needs and deserves to be loved, the right way.. But I will gladly walk away from it all if you say that forever the love that I share with you will pour down an empty hole of psychosis and a deeply-****** need for procrastination. Unfortunately for you and those that hide the way that you do, the clock is ticking and you are going to become, face to face in front of the truth-- no matter what you choose to believe here on Earth. And I'm not being religious, and I'm not talking about "Christianity".
I'm talking about the core of the Soul which is eternal.. but is only given one body and one life here on Earth-- to have the chance to infuse the God within us, in to the flesh-hewn temple, that houses it all..
I was built to be there for you and support you all the way through this life. There's no way you can throw it away by being this stubborn. If you choose to be, I will have to write you off, forever babe. And I promise you I can do that if you remain adamant the way that you are. Is "reincarnation", and all of its false beliefs really worth it all to you? Is your lover of your "past lives", that great?
The incubus is none other than the ultimate spiritual troll, babe-- the motherfuker is a demon, and every part of what he does is based on the Unholy bastardization of what love was truly meant to be. I feel sorry for you if this is the stand you're going to make. It is unequivocally, diametrically opposed to all of who it is that I am, and I've remained silent long enough..
but no more.
I guess it all boils down to the age old, age-old
"Choose you this day, who you will serve..", thing .
You are the last person I will ever want to have to write off, but I promise you.. this o n e life here on earth is really that serious. And my one life that I have here, I refuse to have be squandered.
So maybe I was wrong in what I believe about you after all.. (But I will never live long enough to be able to convince myself of that).
I believe you are that person.
I doubt if I will ever not believe that you are that person.
I need to go now, sweetie.
You are forever beautiful. xox
(I really don't want to come down, from it)